He sat still, ironically enough, in Reno’s room. Head in hands, he stared at the
floor as if the world would cave in any minute.
The way he had looked at him, how
he had kissed him, left Rude reeling for an explanation.
He knew what the professor had
done now. He could tell by the way Reno’s ravaged body had shivered underneath his
own, and the way that he had such fear in his eyes.
But Rude yearned for him, for his
touch, for his voice and his hair and his eyes…he yearned for him more than anything
he had ever contemplated, to such a degree that it left every fiber of his soul screaming
in desire. Not just lust, but love. He knew what it felt like to have Reno’s body so
near his now, and although he had only dreamed of it, he knew what other part of Reno he
yearned for.
He yearned for his heart. He
wanted, and would give anything, for Reno to feel the same satisfaction, the same
fulfillment, that he felt when his lips touched the boy’s.
Nevertheless, he had run, the
fear (unmistakable) in his eyes, rampant as Rude had looked so longingly into them.
He had to get out of here.
The Professor stared out into the
evening light, noting the sick, false greenery of trees that were supposed to cover up the
filth of Midgar.
What a lousy existence he had
come to – no boy, no specimen, and none of the satisfaction that would have pleased
any sadist. He turned his gaze to the door where a barrage of knocking had ensued.
‘Damn,’ he cursed in
his head. The cell cultures still lay on the table, the word ‘inconclusive’
written across the computer screen. The data was due in by tomorrow, and that ugly word
‘inconclusive’ still flashed against the darkening room.
‘Hmph,’ he snarled as
he went to answer the pounding door.
‘Yes?’ his voice hissed
out calmly.
There stood Heidegger, leader of
the Turks, looking red in the face after trudging up the stairs to the Professor’s
laboratory. The perplexed look turned to one of curiosity – it was not often that
this man called upon the Professor.
‘I have news, sir,’
Heidegger saluted.
The salute was met with a
perturbed, questioning glare.
‘Er, yes. News has reached
me that the Ancient has been lost.’
He waited for a barrage of angry
curses to be flung in his direction.
When none came, he looked
straight at the Professor.
He said nothing. When he had sent
out the squad of Shinra troops, he was almost sure the endeavor would be successful.
Tseng, as he well knew from his tediously methodical background checks, was biased.
The man had grown up with the
Ancient, and the Professor now knew why the usually unstoppable Turks had failed time and
time again.
A stupid, unsavvy man would have
brought this to the attention of the President right away.
The Professor knew better.
Tseng was one of Shinra's most
valuable assets. The President would not so simply just do away with him.
So the Professor played his
cards. Although wisely, the hand he held had been dealt had just been too poor.
‘Dismissed,’ he said to
Heidegger’s general vicinity.
The oversized man nodded, and
slowly backed away.
‘We’ll get her next
time, sir. Gyhahaha!!’
The Professor cringed at the
obnoxious display and motioned Heidegger away with a flippant wave of his hand.
He desperately needed to get his
hands on Aeris.
‘In more ways than one,’
he thought with a perverse smirk.
It had finally hit him. He knew
now that the only successful way of receiving Aeris was by the hands of the Turks. Or at
least…_one_ Turk.
He still had a card up his
sleeve.
‘LUCR,’ he called out.
‘Yes. What is your request?’
an automated voice answered back pleasantly.
‘Call the boy, or I believe
his name is,’ he said, a gleeful insane smile crossing his bony features, ‘Reno.
Call Reno, number 156275A to my laboratory.’
‘Right away,’ the
mechanised voice sang cheerfully, off to track down Reno’s electronic ID and give his
PHS the message.
The Professor smiled. It was time
to trade in his cards for a new hand.
A high pitched beeping sound
permeated the dolorous air.
Reno groaned.
He must have fallen asleep in the
dank bar. He checked the screen of his PHS.
‘Report to the Professor’s
laboratory immediately.’
He could feel the chill of dread
take control of him as soon as his glassy eyes scanned the message. What had happened?
He had been running. Ran right
out of the building in fact, and he had found his way to Wall Market. As soon as he had
been able to have one clear thought, it was the desire to numb his mind again.
Alcohol. This was a luxury
introduced to him by the slums. As soon as he had turned 19, Rude had escorted him around
Midgar, and he had discovered the place, and the substance.
Rude…
No. No, he wouldn’t let
himself think about it…about what had happened…that look in his eyes when Reno
had…
He took a long gulp of the drink
he noticed that was still in front of him. Why did the only man he had ever held in
personal regard have to say what he had?
‘Just forget about me,’
he thought scornfully.
Yes, the fact of the matter was,
that Reno realised he had memorized everything about that moment – horrible and
beautiful as it was. The heat of Rude’s breath in his hair as he spoke, the hands
– Gods, those hands – so gentle. He’d never felt anything so sweet. But, he
had surpassed that chance willingly. He knew he’d only hurt him. Thinking sensibly,
without emotion – something he was the best at – he knew, as much as he had
reveled in his friend’s touch, another part of him had begun to scream in fear.
Thank Gods it was only in his
head. He knew, things like this – that was what would kill Rude.
Rude, whether he knew it or not,
was headed for something better, some_one_ better.
But he knew now. He knew about
the Professor and the pain. And Reno had to ask himself – was it the fact that Rude
knew about the events that had conspired…
Or rather, that he knew how Reno
had felt, that he had been so weak as to let his mask drop.
Weak…nameless…That was
the Professor’s ‘boy.’
‘I’m still his,’
he thought darkly, ‘even if my body is free, even if I have my work, my life – a
part of me will always be the Professor’s.’
And as Reno had always said,
there was no point in delaying the inevitable.
He stood up, steadied his hands,
and walked out of the bar, headed for the laboratory.
In every life, there comes a time
when one must choose. And on that particular night, when the great secret had been
revealed from the caretaker to his charge, a foul, underlying thing seemed to arrest the
Shinra building.
As Reno marched toward this
thought fate, Rude sat with a drink, trying to figure out what exactly had happened.
After the boy had run, he had sat
and simply stared at the ceiling, boring large holes in it with his dark eyes. Finally, it
had drowned on him – Reno wasn’t returning anytime soon.
So, he had done what he could. He
found Tseng, who (after the Aeris incident) had been quiet and morose, and asked him out
for a drink.
The raven haired Turk had nodded,
and by now, the shell who five hours earlier had been his boss, had lapsed into absolute,
though quite amicable, silence. He was drunk – very drunk. Drunk enough, in fact,
that despite the everlasting silence, he had actually voiced his thoughts. Rude just
listened, nodding every now and then as his long time comrade babbled on meaninglessly.
He kept his own thoughts o
himself as he always did. In fact, the only person he had ever revealed his true emotions
to was…Reno. No, no he wasn’t going to think about it. He knew how much he had
scared his friend – and damn it, he was his friend. His only friend – the only
man who really knew him.
The only man he wanted to know
him.
Many of his male counterparts
were attractive. Tseng was the envy of almost every person in the company – his job,
his face – everything about the man reeked of power and prestige.
How ironic – his very job
had led to the downfall of his endless indifference. He had often said, ‘You can’t
give a fuck in this job.’
That was years ago…
‘Well Tseng…’ he
thought sullenly, ‘you finally give a fuck.’
And all because of some tiny,
brown haired green eyed girl with a flower basket.
Funny, the things love did to
people.
‘And what of you?’ he
thought.
Reno was unlike any person he’d
ever wanted – this was not a conquest.
Perhaps the only thing in his
life that wasn’t. Then again, perhaps not.
Was he…in love with Reno? He
couldn’t fathom the suggestion. Tseng broke the silence, mumbling in his drunken
stupor.
‘Rude?’
‘Yes?’ Rude turned to
face the sorry looking man.
‘I…I…’ He
waited patiently for Tseng to babble whatever he was going to through his slur, but
watched carefully, for suddenly, his entire face tightened.
‘Yes sir…?’
Tseng opened half closed eyes and
looked straight through his usually unpenetratable comrade.
‘Don’t let go of the
things you love.’
Rude stared at him, eyes slightly
wider though nonetheless shocked.
'Tseng?' it was rare he called
his superior by his first name, and if he did, something quite large usually provoked it.
'Nothing,' Tseng mumbled
half-heartedly, his drunken mind obviously focused completely on Aeris, and went back to
drown his sorrows. Rude slowly shook his head, but Tseng's simple, unbiased logic had hit
a weak point.
Reno whirl winded into the
Professor’s laboratory like a cyclone of a mad man. He wasn’t going to cater to
the Professor anymore; he wasn’t going to let people walk all over him anymore. He
was sick of living in fear.
He had reached the top floors of
the Shinra building, and he knocked boldly on the door, his face becoming blank to mask
its intensity.
And there he was, standing coldly
in the open doorway.
‘Professor,’ he greeted
emotionlessly. His former rapist looked at him in slight surprise, but then softly
chuckled in his old maniacal fashion.
‘Come,’ he motioned.
The Turk stepped through the
doorway, and into the room he had known as Hell for as long as his mind stretched back.
‘Where is she, Reno?’
he didn’t bother straying from the point.
‘I don’t have any idea
what you are referring to, sir.’
The Professor narrowed his eyes
considerably.
He dashed forward suddenly, and
before Reno knew what was happening, the Professor had pinned him against the wall and
smashed his head into it.
‘And before you even think
of fighting back,’ he hissed maliciously, ‘just remember my rank.’
To his horror, Reno realised he
was right. If he did fight back, Shinra would have cause to dismiss him, or worse yet,
give him back to the Professor.
The Professor knew what he was
thinking instantly.
‘Yes Reno, I would keep you
for…"testing",’ he cackled hideously.
The Professor, who had been
behind him holding his hands against the wall, pressed his body grotesquely against the
Turk. Reno couldn’t help but shiver, and the Professor felt it immediately. He
whispered into his shivering captive’s ear, ‘You will,’ he said, his thin,
cracked lips forming the words slowly, ‘retrieve the girl for me.’
Reno didn’t say anything,
just stood, clamped against the cold, steel wall, trying to control his body.
‘And you will,’ he
said, hissing, through clenched teeth, ‘bring her to me.'
‘You will not,’ he
continued, his mouth an inch away from his captive’s ear now, ‘tell Tseng.’
Reno shook uncontrollably now,
but the Professor merely pressed tighter up against him, his stomach to Reno’s back,
his hands upon Reno’s, brutally tightening their grip until the Turk wanted to yelp.
‘If you do not comply,’
he said in his usual morbid, impish way, ‘well…’ he laughed.
‘Maybe this will explain the
consequences a bit better.’
Without further hesitation, the
Professor slowly ran his slimy tongue along Reno’s bared neck.
He didn’t say anything, just
closed his eyes and again, tried to pretend it was someone else. But, he couldn’t
this time. It was too much … Rude’s confession, the Professor’s order, and
now this.
He whimpered, and the Professor
merely laughed, turning his progress into rough kisses down his prey’s neck.
‘Mm,’ he said in
sadistic undertones. At this, he wrapped his arms around Reno’s waist and let one
hand stray up to his chest. Reno, his entire body tensed stood shock still.
But he couldn’t help but
cringe as he felt the Professor’s hand undo and pull off his pants, leaving him for
all the world to see. He could feel the awful hand tug violently, and he whimpered. This
just caused the Professor to squeeze and pull even harder, leaving Reno to finally yelp in
unsuppressed pain.
‘I will take you,’ he
rasped hoarsely, panting a little, into his Reno’s ear, ‘for you belong to me.’
And just to prove his point, he
thrust vindictively into Reno’s body.
‘Do you…enjoy this?’
he hissed vehemently.
Reno was shaking uncontrollably
now.
Rude had finally returned to the
Shinra building after depositing Tseng in his room. The leader of the Turks had passed out
and simply fallen into his bed.
And now, he decided to pay the
Professor a little visit. What Tseng had said made sense…too much sense. At this
point, he didn’t even bother considering his job, his life – nothing mattered
right now except revenge; revenge for Reno.
He climbed the stairs to the
Professor’s laboratory, steady, methodical and deadly. If he couldn’t have Reno,
see him or touch him, the least he could do was protect him. And that was exactly what he
intended to do.
He finally stood outside the
laboratory door. Trying the handle, he realised it was locked. That was strange. But, he
heard an odd noise just then…it was…
A whimper.
He banged roughly on the solid
metal door.
‘Professor?’ he called
out.
No answer. Something wasn’t
right.
He heard it again…only this
time, it was followed with the Professor’s unmistakable insane laughter.
Without a second thought, he
pulled out his gun and in one swift shot blew the lock off the door. He ran in, and what
met his eyes, was the most disgusting sight he had ever witnessed.
Reno was pushed up against the
well, his head drooped, with the Professor raping him senseless.
'No!' he cried, charging forward.
With one blow, he knocked the Professor onto the ground. The man, having been dislodged
from Reno, fell onto the floor. Rude kicked him in the head as hard as he could, causing
blood to spurt forth almost immediately. He spat, and kicked the grotesque man, who was
naked from the waist down, under a nearby table.
With this achieved, he hurried
over to Reno. The red haired man, who had been standing until that point, began to slump.
He held out his arms, and caught Reno as he fell.
He bent, laying Reno gently down
on the floor. He still shook uncontrollably, but he hadn't passed out.
'Get away,' he whispered,
'no...get away.'
The whispering grew louder, until
he was screaming.
'Reno. Reno!...it's me,' Rude
held his friend in his arms. The coldness of the floor cut into Reno's naked skin, and
Rude tore his own jacket off, covering him.
Finally, Reno snapped out of
traumatised delirium, and realised where he was. He also realised who was there, and what
he had seen.
His eyes widened in horror as he
surveyed the scene. He stood up raggedly, looking down in absolute shock. Standing
half-naked before Rude, he was in all his shame, and he slumped against the wall, turning
his body away from Rude. He slid down into the corner and curled tightly into a ball, his
hair spilling over his shoulders, hiding his face.
Rude slowly stood up, noting the
blood on the floor that wasn't the Professor's.
'Reno...,' he said softly.
He walked over, hesitantly
standing behind the Turk. He stood over him, and turned Reno to face him. Bending down
again, he put his arms around the shaking man.
Reno _had_ begun to shiver again,
but Rude kissed his cheek gently. 'Reno,' he said again softly. Finally, he buried his
face in Rude's shoulder.
'I won't hurt you.'
His hands moved over his friend's
back lightly, caressing him. He lifted him off the ground and began to carry him out of
the laboratory.
When Reno awoke, he felt warm. He
recognised that feeling first. But other than that, he was completely disoriented.
Until that moment. Then it all
came flooding back - the rape, the threat, and worst of all, Rude seeing him in all of his
shame. He realised he was still shivering. And he realised that he was not alone.
'Reno?' a soft voice said from
the darkness. It was Rude, and Reno cringed. He couldn't face him now...not after what had
happened.
But when he felt a gentle touch
move slowly through his hair, he gasped.
'So, you are awake.'
Finally he answered simply,
'Yes.' The hand dropped immediately. He had to get out of here. He realised the warm mound
near his body was actually Rude sitting next to him on the edge of the bed.
Rude prayed, perhaps, that Reno
might have forgotten the incident. He had the classic signs of shock, which usually
followed with denial and the blocking of memories. He had no such luck, however.
'Do you know where you are?'
'Why did you have to come, Rude?'
He knew damn well where he was
and what had happened. Rude sighed.
'There's nothing to be ashamed
of...'
Silence.
'Reno,' he said, his voice thick
with frustration and pain, 'I need to protect you.'
'I can take care of myself,' he
spat back venomously.
'Reno...what-'
'Don't say it,' he warned. The
shivering had subsided somewhat, but now he was simply shaking inside.
'What did he want?'
He had said it - he had asked the
dreaded question that Reno couldn't answer. He knew that if he told Rude about the
Professor's order, he would try to help. But then again, maybe he wouldn't. Either
way...Reno was trapped.
'Do you want me now?!' he
whispered angrily, harshly.
There was no answer. Of course
not! Who would want the Professor's defenseless, weak whore? Worthless - that's all he
was. All he was born for? To be someone's whore?
Well, he wasn't just the poor
little experimental boy that Rude had to take care of anymore. He was the Turk that fucked
the Professor. Before he could finish however, rough hands grabbed his shoulders and
yanked him upwards. He gasped in shock as Rude grabbed him...this was like how the
Professor touched him, yet...it was different. Rude's hands didn't press in so hard that
he cringed, he didn't touch him anywhere that Reno didn't want him to, though he knew that
Rude wanted to.
And his face, so close to Rude's
right then, tightened.
'So, you still want me?!' he
demanded again. Rude scared him. So much, that his only defense was anger.
'The Professor's little whore?'
he rasped bitterly.
He expected Rude to hit him, hurt
him in some way. But he didn't. He did something else. He pushed Reno roughly onto the
bed, his whole body, his entire weight, on top of Reno's frame, and shoved his arms
underneath of him. Reno gasped. For once, this was completely unexpected from the Turk's
usual calm demeanor.
Reno thought of struggling, but
he didn't. If Rude was going to take him, there was nothing he could do about it. Let him
use his defiled body.
So he lay still, beginning to
shake. Rude beared down on top of him, breathing a little heavier. And he leaned forward
and kissed Reno's lips, a lusty, burning kiss, which Reno didn't know how to respond to.
Rude, very suddenly, sat back up.
Reno knew what came next. He
rolled onto his stomach, his image outlined in the now visible moonlight filtering into
the room. His burning red hair splayed over his back, his face to the side away from Rude,
his entire body tense.
'So...fuck me Rude,' he said, as
he waited to feel Rude on top of him to take him. But nothing was said. Just as soon, two
hands reached over and grabbed his body.
But instead of getting on top of
him, they turned him onto his back. He turned in surprise.
Rude lowered his face so that it
was an inch away from Reno's, leaning down from his again sitting position.
'I don't want to fuck you, Reno,'
he hissed angrily through clenched teeth. So, he wasn't even good enough to be raped.
Finally, he let his hand rest on
Reno's face and whispered softly into his ear, 'I want to make love to you.'
Reno managed to suppress the
tears that wanted to come, but he still shook. And to his own surprise, he pulled Rude
down, so that his body was against his own again. Rude complied all too willingly, but
gauged his friend's reaction carefully.
Finally the pair were still, and
all Reno could whisper back was,
'Please, just forget me.'
Rude shook his head, ignoring his
request and leaned down to kiss Reno. The fiery haired man's hands came up to clasp around
Rude's back, and he sighed.
Rude was still fully suited,
minus his jacket, but Reno himself lay under the sheets with nothing but his bare skin.
Reno pulled down the sheets, and
Rude climbed into the bed next to him. Reno was still violently shaking, and Rude did not
advance more than to situate himself with Reno's back to him, and put his arms around his
shivering companion.
'I want you right now,' he
whispered, 'but not like this. Not tonight, not when you're shaking.'
Reno just nodded. He turned to
face Rude and buried his face in his shirt. Rude wrapped one arm tightly around Reno, and
the other gently stroked his hair. Finally, Reno's shivering stopped. He still looked up
at his friend every now and then, wondering at his approval. He didn't know how to act in
bed; the Professor had always just turned him over onto his stomach, and taken him.
This was so....different. He
could fairly see the affection in Rude's eyes every time he looked nervously up at him.
Rude could tell Reno was still
scared, but was making a big effort to hide it.
'It's only me,' he said softly as
Reno looked up a sixth time.
Although he nodded, the man still
shook a tiny bit every now and then, thinking Rude didn't notice.
But the truth was Rude could feel
every tiny movement his friend made. Every sound, every movement and every look, he
committed to memory. He would never, ever take advantage of him...he promised himself.
'Rude?'
'Mm?'
'Who was the last person you were
with?'
Rude looked down at him,
surprised. He answered nonetheless.
'No one you know.'
'A prostitute?'
Rude looked at him sharply, and
Reno cringed. Of course he had to say something so stupid. He had absolutely no idea who
else Rude could have been with though.
'No. The last person I was with
was many years ago.'
'Did you love them?'
'No.'
There was a few moments of
silence.
'Rude...,' Reno's voice wavered.
He looked down expectantly.
He hesitated, but decided to
continue, whispering softly, 'Can I touch you?'
Rude just stared at him for a few
moments in shock, but recovered quickly as the beautiful green eyes looked away swiftly.
'Yes,' he whispered back slowly.
With this consent, Reno rolled
over to face him again, and began to undo his shirt. Rude rolled from his side to his
back, letting Reno do what he would. Any time he touched the Turk it felt so good...no, it
felt ecstatic.
Soon, his shirt came off, and
Reno marveled at his friend's body. He felt something...not the same something when he had
felt Rude kiss him...
He felt fear, but he also felt
longing. He ran his finger experimentally along a nipple, causing Rude to sigh and close
his eyes.
'Mm...Reno...,' he breathed
softly.
Reno wanted to please Rude...he
wanted to hear him sigh, and moan, and he wanted to feel his breath on his shoulder as
much as Rude wanted him, if not more.
Reno kissed slowly, and
deliberately, along Rude's neck, moving from his lips down to his chest, letting his mouth
guide him. As Rude repositioned himself, he moaned almost inaudibly. He had waited so long
for his moment...
He let his tongue sensually trace
around Rude's nipple, and then nibbled on it slightly. This issued a sharp gasp from Rude,
which immediately caught Reno's attention.
'Do you want me to stop?' he
asked cautiously.
Rude's eyes opened, heavy lidded
from passion, and he had to use all his strength to muster speech.
'Gods...no...,' he said
breathlessly. This caused Reno to actually smile, and he continued his course, kissing
Rude's stomach.
Rude moaned loudly, not being
able to hold it in anymore. 'Oh Gods...Reno...'
He could feel a hardness pressed
against him, and knew what is was immediately. His hands had began to shake again, but he
didn't want to stop.
But Rude noticed as soon as they
did, and motioned for Reno to face him again.
'Are you sure you want to keep
going?' he asked intensely, trying to forget his own desire, and scrutinised Reno's
reaction. In a way, he did...but in another way, he didn't.
His facial expression said enough
for Rude, so before he could answer, he pulled Reno on top of him and kissed him.
'How does that feel?' he asked
softly as his hands caressed Reno's back.
Reno just laid his head on Rude's
chest and sighed contentedly.
'I want you to remember
something, Reno...,' he began. Reno looked at him expectantly.
'I will never make you do
anything that you don't want to.'
Reno thought about this, and
nodded. 'Okay,' he said softly to Rude's seriousness.
'It's your body, and yours
alone,' he insisted, and to prove this point he removed his hands from Reno's back.
'Do you want my hands on you?' he
asked. He asked the question that had been burning in his mind forever, the question that
plagued his heart and decided his fate.
Reno didn't even think about it
before answering, 'Yes...I want only _your_ hands on me.'
Finally, Rude gently lifted Reno
off of him and curled up next to him, letting Reno's back face him again.
He repeated, 'Just remember, my
Reno...it's only me.'
He kissed Reno's head, and closed
his eyes.
And, if only just for that night,
Reno felt safe in Rude's arms.
