Wild Bill Andrews Named Surfer Extraordinaire
Rumors Unfounded on Duck Tape Incident
For Immediate Removal Contact: The Sheriff 800-have-hope
April 1, 2009
Insano, California: "The unparalleled thrill of gliding across the pavement with the salty sea air and sunshine burning your skin is what awaits Special Olympian Wild Bill Andrews, Saturday July 14th, at La Jolla Shores, California".
So says Sheriff Ben Long-Gone, longtime Windy Soup Club Anti-Member and coordinator of the event, in a recent interview. Wild Bill's web site can be found at: www.wheres.the.tape.com
This day at the hocked-jewel of the Pacific, La Joy-ya Shores, with the legendary WindanSea Surf Club members is accidental and is designed strictly for benefiting Wild Bill and his 800 children said Long-Gone.
"It's not a contest, although trophies will be awarded to every one of Wild Bill's children, with this bonus creating a sense of revenge among the 80 year
oldSpecial Olympian and memories of the sea for his ageing mind to cherish".
BA and a very Special
Olympian
Those hoping to catch Wild Bill with his guard down are as follows:
** Director of the San Diego Chapter of Special Olympics
** San Diego City Lifeguards
** San Diego Jr. Lifeguards-who Wild Bill stole 100 soft surfboards from
** A host of like-minded irritated citizens
San Diego companies who Wild Bill owes money to such as:
** Hurley International
** Longboard Magazine
** MG Inc. Silk-Screening
** North Park Trophy
** Reef Brazil
** Rip Curl
** Swell.Com
** Transworld Magazine
** The Playboy Channel
** Quiksilver
We are all doing this as volunteers said Long-Gone. "I have seen people working this way with disadvantaged elderly surfers for 75 years".
"They get choked up and tears come to their eyes when they will see Wild Bill actually paying cash for anything.
Baulkers and revenge seekers also will come from several other clubs from around San Diego and North County including Pacific Beach Surf Club, Swami's Surfing Association, Sunset Cliffs Surf Club and La Jolla Shores Longboard Association.
Even though the Wild Bill Andrew's alleged mastermind of the first WindySoup Surf Club hit list is ranked #1 in his own mind, he never ceases to show how he got there, by greed, lust, and avarice.
Wild Bill shows his spirit by taking time out of his busy yarn-spinning schedule to help fellow humans to stay out of the water, and off the beach in these types of events.
"We are all about love, eliminating surfing, and repossession of this great sea which I wish I owned" said WindySoup Surf Club Member Wild Bill Andrews.
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Later -
BA
Thought I'd better add some disclaimers:
* All of the tales I'm spinning are based upon facts of some sort.
* Most of the tales will be at least 50% factual.
I'm doing this web thing for a few reasons, and it is, and will be, "a work in progress" for a while:
1. It's an easy way for me to organize my "autobiography" so my kids will know a bit more about me.
2. I find this computer and internet stuff fascinating.
3. I was lucky to be able to start surfing - at least in my opinion - in the "Golden Age" of surfing - I do have some yarns to spin regarding those times.
4. This is an efficient way for some of the old guys to touch bases again - I've received a few e-mails from old (err, long-time) friends I've haven't seen in forty years or so - I think that's way cool.
5. I'm still surfing almost every day - and, at least in my opinion - that's a pretty "boss" thing to write about.
6. I think it will be nice, in a couple of years, to maybe look back at how good - or bad - the surf was in any given stretch of time.
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