With my first pregnancy, I miscarried at 16 weeks. I was told it was a boy and perfectly formed so why did I miscarry? These things happen for a reason. He may have had a hidden disability who knows but I grieve for what might have been had he been born.
My next pregnancy was uneventful except for the last month when I had to go into hospital because the placenta was not getting enough nourishment and they needed to monitor me. I remember it being Christmas and I was very tearful but I was allowed out for Christmas dinner at my in-laws with orders that I return straight after. Finally on 21st January the doctors decided to induce Fiona. She was born at midnight and very tiny only 4lb 12oz. so was whisked away to a humid crib because during the birth she had shown signs of stress. I believe I should have asked that she be born by caesarian but you only come to this conclusion in hindsight. Fiona had to spend three weeks in hospital when I would go to her every day and express my milk to be fed through a tube in her nose.
At 3 months I was in bed early as I had a severe migraine. My husband said he would feed her the bottle. She had very poor suction so you had to hold both cheeks with one hand as well as the bottle. I heard a shout and was out of bed and down to the lounge as fast as lightning. My husband was trying to resusitate Fiona by hanging her upside down. We rushed her to the nearest hospital and banged on the door frantically as a nurse came to open it and she sharply told us off for waking the whole hospital! She spent three months in hospital and I was eventually told she may have cerebal palsy and that it would be best to send her to an institution! I was shocked!
We went to a home where they taught you how to look after babies who had trouble feeding etc. We were shown how to massage the baby and how to stimulate the baby. It was generally a time to get to know your baby who had problems. After that I was told by the pediatrician that she was a "wait and see child"
