David got custody of Zowie/Joe/Stickface/Lumpy. Angela settled for $50,000. That's right, not $5,000,000, fifty thousand dollars. Bowie spent the rest of 1980 giggling like a little schoolgirl.
Angela announced plans to write a book about David, Coco the monkey and unmentionable things. 'This book will contain the words anal, penis, sucking and rash on every page,' she announced, 'it's about time the truth was told, and God knows I'm not the one to do it'.
After appearing on the TV shows 'Saturday Night Live' and 'Dick Clark's Salute To The Seventies', Bowie returned home for a holiday, being one of the few people in the world who can do that. He went skiing and got a nut lodged in his right nostril. Ok, he didn't get a nut lodged in his nostril, but skiing by itself sounded awfully boring.
When Stickface returned to school Bowie fled to New York and never picked him up. Instead he started recording a new album at Record Plant Studios with Tony Visconti. David had the usual rhythm section with him (Alomar, Murray and Davis) with guest guitar overdubs from Robert Fripp, Chuck Hammer and Pete Townshend, plus Andy Clark on synthesizers and Roy Bittan on piano. The title track was to be called 'Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)' all about his time in the studio with the above musicians. Alomar would fart, Murray blew his nose without a tissue, Davis's bumcrack was always showing and Fripp brought his own spit bucket.
In July David returned to Japan to have sex. While there he made a television commercial for Sake. Sake was very pleased with the result, and much bowing resulted. It took two weeks to shoot, as it was nimble and hard to target. In the TV ad, Bowie's 'Crystal Japan' can be heard in the background. Bowie left Japan with his pockets stuffed with cash.
After time promoting his new single 'Space Oddity/Alabama Song' it was time to become the Elephant Man. The play opened at the Denver Centre of Performing Arts on 29th July. Every ticket was sold for that week, but annoyingly people in the audience kept on yelling, "Do Space Oddity!", or "Play Young Americans! That's My Favourite!".
The play moved on to Chicago for three weeks, and in the middle of performances David would break out into, 'Do you remember a guy that's been, in such an early song?'. Yep, it was time to promote his new single, 'Ashes to Ashes', and what better way to do it than in the middle of playing John Merrick. The crowd went wild and threw their panties onto the stage.
'Ashes to Ashes' was aided by a brilliant Mallet video featuring David in Pierrot costume talking to his mother on another planet. Very much as expected, what else could the video have depicted except for that? It went number 1 very quickly after taking some laxatives.
Not long after 'Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)' the album came out (September 12th), 'The Elephant Man' hit broadway. The show at the Booth Theatre was the subject of intense media interest:
New York Times - Oh my god! He's hideous! In a Good Way!
New York Post - When he staggered out of that hospital bed, and into a wonderful rendition of 'Fashion', I nearly cried
New York Gutter - I never knew Merrick could swivel his hips like that. Viva la Elephant!
'Fashion' was the next single off the wildly successful 'Scary Monsters' LP. Written to a disco beat it features inspired lyrics such as "lalalalalala!" and "fafafafa..."
Every night, fans gathered at the Booth Theatre hoping to meet Bowie, get his autograph, or shoot him. It was a time of innocence when big stars would let themselves be shot quite freely. That freedom vanished on 8th December when you-know-what happened.
Bowie became security concious, which is the next step towards being cosmicly concious. He would insist that all members of the cast give him a full body cavity search before each show.