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Tearin' Ass
Take This Oil And Shove It!
The Saudis are boycotting American goods. We should return the fucking favor. An interesting thought is to boycott their GAS (as you know gas is made from oil). Every time you fill up your vehicle, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of those Middle East Assholes just by buying your gas from companies that don't import their oil from the Middle Eastern Terrorist sympathizers. Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my friends. (Yes, smart-ass, GBO has friends.) I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from and which major companies import Middle Eastern Terrorist Sponsoring Oil. (for the period 9/1/00 - 8/31/01):
Public Enemy #1:
Shell..........................205,742,000
Chevron/Texaco.....................144,332,000
Exxon /Mobil.......................130,082,000
Marathon/Speedway..................117,740,000
Amoco...............................62,231,000
If you do the math at the $30/barrel average, these imports amount to over $14 BILLION ($14,248,776,000.00 to be exact)! So every time you see the price of gas go up at least it means that it cost a little more to kill yourself, after all, buying the Middle East's oil is just as good as killing your own children, (if you already killed your family or are planning to then please disregard) and its always good to know that you did your part as a good American consumer in the killing of the people of 9/11. So if you are so petty as to feel inconvenienced in having to drive an extra mile to not purchase TERRORIST OIL, FUCK YOU and the Civic you drive. Maybe you should go out and buy a Mitsubishi. Oh Yeah, A Mitsubishi. They only manufactured the bombers that destroyed Pearl Harbor. After you get your new shitmobile buy an IBM computer. Chances are it was developed by American POW’s during the Vietnam War. So go buy your terrorist oil and put it in your bomber and drive around America's streets, and if you’re lucky, maybe you will get drunk on GERMANIES FACIAST BEERS, while driving your bomber fueled by TERRORISTS GAS and kill another AMERICAN.
Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:
Citgo.................0 barrels
Sunoco................0 barrels
Conoco................0 barrels
Sinclair............. 0 barrels
BP/Phillips.......... 0 barrels
Hess..................0 barrels
All of this information is available from the DOE (Department of Energy) and each is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing. They report on a monthly basis. Keep this list in your car; share it with friends. Stop paying for terrorism............. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. That’s why we here at the SAC, (Strategic Asshole Command), of GBO are doing our part in the war effort against those terrorist cock-sucking, camel humping, dog eating, towel headed, shrimp dicked, faceless cowards. ALL IN ALL, FUCK SAUDI ARABIA, GERMANY, BELGIUM and (especially) FRANCE, AND ALL OF YOU PUSSIEST LIBERAL PEACE LOVE AND SHIT LIP FAGGOTS WHO ARE PROTESTING AGAINST YOUR OWN SAFETY. AMERICA, YOU ARE ALWAYS FREE TO FUCKING LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CC.
RFS (Real Fuckin' Shit):
This month for the RFS (Real Fucking Shit), GBO would like to quote a man who knows no limits to the truth. That man is Mr. Paul Harvey. So to all you Liberalistic Brain Washed, Self Indulgent Communist Cock Suckers out there who think that these people are as good as the all mighty, GBO leaves you with this wonderful peace of TRUTH.
THIS WILL OPEN YOUR EYES
By Paul Harvey
Conveniently Forgotten Facts
Back in 1969 a group of Black Panthers decided that a
fellow black panther named...Alex Rackley needed to
die. Rackley was suspected of disloyalty. Rackley was first tied to a chair. Once safelyimmobilized, his friends tortured him for hours by,among other things, pouring boiling water on him. When they got tired of torturing Rackley, Black Panther member, Kimbo took Rackley outside and put bullet in his head. Rackley's body was later found floating in a river about 25 miles north of New Haven,Conn.
Perhaps at this point you're curious as to what
happened to these Black Panthers. In 1977, that's only
eight years later, only one of the killers was still
in jail. The shooter, Warren Kimbro, managed to get
a scholarship to Harvard, and became good friends with none other than Al Gore. He later became an assistant dean
at an Eastern Connecticut State College. Isn't that something? As a '60s radical you can pump a bullet into someone's head, and a few years later, in the same state, you can become an assistant college dean! Only in America!
Erica Huggins was the lady who served the Panthers by
boiling the water for Mr. Rackley's torture. Some
years later Ms. Huggins was elected to a California
School Board. How in the world do you think these killers got off so easy? Maybe it was in some part due to the efforts of two people who came to the defense of the Panthers. These two people actually went so far as to shut down Yale University with demonstrations in defense of the accused Black Panthers during their trial.
One of these people was none other than Bill Lan Lee.
Mr. Lee, or Mr. Lan Lee, as the case may be, isn't
college dean. He isn't a member of a California School
Board. He is now head of the US Justice Department's
Civil Rights Division, appointed by none other than
Bill Clinton. O.K., so who was the other Panther defender?
Is this other notable Panther defender now a school
board member? Is this other Panther apologist now an assistant college dean? No, neither. The other Panther defender was, like Lee, a radical law student at Yale University at the time. She is now known as The "smartest woman in the world." She is none other than the Democratic senator from the State of New York----our former First Lady, the incredible Hillary Rodham Clinton.Remember this if and when she runs for President! And that good reader.....is the Real Fuckin' Shit!
Man Power
Once a month we here at GBO like to give a certain something the title of "Man Power". "Man Power" is defined as anything that we like, want, have, gives us a puffer, floats our boats, shucks the corn, or just really fucks shit up. So, holding strictly to the high moral standards of GBO, this months "Man Power" is awarded to the MOAB (Massive Ordance Air Burst) bomb. This 21,000 pound Mother Of All Bombs, or as we here at the GBO like to call it, "the fastest way to Allah" bomb or the "Allah Express", is 30 feet long, 40.5 inches in diameter, and satellite guided for good reception (it gets over 200 channels!). This massive piece of American know how never touches the ground, it explodes six feet above the ground to cause more destruction than Louie Anderson at a Vegas buffet. This beast is capable of the largest non-nuclear explosion in the world. The odd delivery system used by this device is a pallete-parachute rigging that pulls the bomb out of the ass end of a C-130 Hercules. As the bomb rides out the back the pallete falls away with the chute allowing gravity to take over and then GPS satellites drive it home like Miss Daisy. After this millions of bits of people, sand, mud, and cement go flying about in a fireworks display of shrapnel. Look Mom! A finger! Well, that's about all there is to tell about this beauty. Unless you have Classified Intelligence Clearence from the DoD. If you do, please contact us, we have some questions on super intelligent gophers and dolphin bombs.
Revolver
The Revolver section is a section that will appear from time to time showcasing various things, hence the name revolver. So, with that said.....I want you to close your eyes and picture in your mind the Soldier at Valley Forge, as he holds his musket in his bloody hands. In your mind picture yourself there where he is and has been. See in your mind what he has seen and will see. Breathe in deep through your nose and smell the sickening stench of war. Paint a mental picture of yourself, as you would look if you were there, the clothes, the gun and the blood on your hands. Picture a man not so old as yourself standing before you. He stands barefoot in the snow, starved from lack of food and wounded from months of battle and emotionally scarred from the eternity he has spent away from his family and being surrounded by nothing but death and the carnage of war. He stands tough, with fire in his eyes and victory on his breath. He looks at us now in anger and disgust, and tells us this...
“I gave you a birthright of Freedom. Born in the Constitution and now your children graduate too illiterate to read it. I fought in the snow barefoot to give you the freedom to vote and you stay at home because it rains. I left my family destitute to give you the freedom of speech and you remain silent on critical issues, because it might be bad for business. I orphaned my children to give you a government to serve you and by not serving yourselves you have stolen democracy from your own people. It's the soldier, not the reporter, who gives you the freedom of the press. It's the soldier, not the poet, who gives you the freedom of speech. It's the soldier, not the campus organizer who allows you to demonstrate. It's the soldier who salutes the flag, serves the flag, and whose coffin is draped with the flag, that allows the protester to burn the flag!!! I have given everything that I am and ever will be to allow you the freedom to say what you want, read and write what you want, to worship your God, to prosper from your land and the right to bear arms and protect yourself and your family. And in return, you bathe in self indulgence and have no recollection of the cost of freedom. To you ,it may only be a piece of cloth covered in brilliant red, white and blue colors. But to some of us before you, it is a Flag, a STAR SPANGLED BANNER that represents our freedom , a way of life free from the tyranny of rulers and kings. For freedom,. God would give his only begotten son. And you, all you do is take and never give. And just as he came to you, he turns and leaves. Never looking back.
Remember this, “It is not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” J. F. Kennedy. Former President of The United States of America.
"Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect
us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us
in our time of need. Give them the courage to go where others will not go.
Give them the courage to face and conquer their own fears.
And through it all, dear Lord, be by their sides. Amen."
CC.
Readers Comments:
S. Liquer from Villa Hills writes...
I picked up my first issue of GBO yesterday and I have to say, You Rule!
Editor: Another refugee from the Realm Of The Obvious. Come in my children, eat, drink, and be merry.
P. Gordon from Mexico, N.Y. writes...
What's wrong with Christmas carols asshole?
Editor: Smash your toe with a hammer and then you know how I feel. If this fails, then put a loaded gun in your mouth and pull trigger.
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