 Thong |
| Goals - 0 |
| MOM - 6 |
| Avg Mark - 6.97 |
| Top Speed - 7mph |
| Fear Factor - 7/10 when in Thong |
| Hunk Factor - 10/10 a ladies man that can charm the underwear off them. |
 Alen Bostik |
| Goals - 2 |
| MOM - 6 |
| Avg Mark - 6.96 |
| Top Speed - 10mph |
| Fear Factor - 7/10 sticks to his man like he sticks to the ball |
| Hunk Factor - 8/10 known as the 'Balkan Bollocks' |
 Piltdown |
| Goals - 11 |
| MOM - 5 |
| Avg Mark - 7 |
| Top Speed - 25mph to the bar |
| Fear Factor - 9/10 hairy and scary 10/10 at last orders |
| Hunk Factor - 2/10 been under the ground for a millennium |
 Magnum |
| Goals - 7 |
| MOM - 8 |
| Avg Mark - 6.96 |
| Top Speed - 4mph with pram and ball and chain |
| Fear Factor - 9/10 if you're a referee |
| Hunk Factor - 9/10 just look at that body and tache |
 Glitter |
| Goals - 22 |
| MOM - 8 |
| Avg Mark - 6.92 |
| Top Speed - 15mph out of the front door of PC World |
| Fear Factor - 2/10 for opposition players 10/10 for pre-pubescent boys or girls |
| Hunk Factor - 8/10 These children cant all be wrong and has a way with his thumb |
 Rat |
| Goals - 24 |
| MOM - 4 |
| Avg Mark - 6.44 |
| Top Speed - 2mph |
| Fear Factor - 2/10 big girls blouse |
| Hunk Factor - 9/10 Pure eye candy |
 Zammo |
| Goals - 3 |
| MOM - 5 |
| Avg Mark - 6.74 |
| Top Speed - 30mph from the Drugs Squad and when late with homework |
| Fear Factor - 8/10 this drug addled idiot could turn on you at any time |
| Hunk Factor - 1/10 the ears of an Indian elephant do not go down well with girls |
 Wisdom |
| Goals - 1 |
| MOM - 1 |
| Avg Mark - 6.77 |
| Top Speed - 20mph on an out of control hospital bed |
| Fear Factor - 1/10 cuddly Norman holds no fear, especially on the ground |
| Hunk Factor - 8/10 the cuteness and lopsided cap send the women wild |
