"Immortal Beloved..." CXVI...
Subtitle: "Mission: Implausible..."
Disclaimer: No, Joss, no...I make no claims, put that thing down!
It's all yours and ME's...
Spoilers for Angel to the bitter end...Flee at once!...
Summary: The usual note as to the IB sketches. Not a continuing story (unless lettered A-on) but possible and im- outcomes from "Chosen" and "Not Fade Away...".
Freelancer William Soames Walthrop has been given a vital assignment in...Yes, Italy.
Twilight, Los Angeles.
A short but lithe and handsome blonde young man in black leather jacket and red t-shirt strides across the deserted park. A grim visaged fellow standing in the shadows seeking prey eyes him but wisely thinks better of the notion, the young fellow turning to cast a quick, hard smile his way, not breaking his stride.
Reaching his goal, a park bench near the exit, the young man pauses, searching for something. Spying a bag in the battered wire trash bin next to the bench he removes it and grimacing a moment at the chewed and rotting remains inside, pulls out a broken beer bottle. A young and attractive female jogging by eyes him with a frown. Though looking up he immediately senses her annoyance is more than just a register of disapproval.
"Sorry, love." he calls to her, grinning. "Try back that way." he jerks a thumb pointing back to a path to his left where the other man still lurked.
Well, set one species of vermin to catch another...he notes to himself as the vampiress takes his advice and begins jogging back and to the left path.
Ah...The mother lode...He pulls out a small, rolled-up manilla envelope with a tiny cassette tape taped to the inner side which had been hidden in the bottle.
Damn...Sucking a cut thumb...They might've found an easy way to get this one to him. He pulled out a miniature tape player and inserted the cassette. Putting on small but highest quality earphones.
Hmmn...Sucking still bleeding thumb...Likely need stitches at this rate...Ought to speak to his Missus, Nina, one of these days. Broodo is clearly headed over the edge with this stuff.
"Good evening, Mr. Walthrop..." a voice issues...Loudly into the night. Oops. He shoves the plug of the earphones more tightly into the player's socket. Ah...
"A certain famed celebrity is due to be married in Italy shortly."
Angel? Have you been reading 'People'?
"Until now no media outlet has hoped to succeed in penetrating the tight security at the wedding site and obtaining first run photos and background on what is billed as the celebrity wedding of the century."
As they all are...the man sighs.
"However we have obtained, through our operatives, the credentials that will allow one of our best to pass as a guest and thus obtain what no other outlet has..."
"...the first pictures of the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes."
"And did is what superhero Champions are reduced to once all major foes are vanquished?" the blonde man sighs. "At least tell me Katie is actually the First corporealized."
"Look, I know it's not defeating the Partners, Spike. Or even fighting human evil as top-notch lawyers." the taped voice continued. "But as you well know we couldn't continue claiming to be a law firm without actual law degrees and you were the one who wanted to write again."
"Yeah, write...As in literature and journalism...Not vapid candy for suicidally desperate housewives."
Still...A byline is a byline...And it would put diapers on adopted lil' William's fanny...
Eh, what the hell. Big country...What are the odds? And even we did, say...Run into each other chasing some murderous Undead scum about to gorge on voluptuous Italian flesh...Big deal. I'm a professional...She's...Whatever...
Probably Mrs. Immortal now anyway....Never gets her hands bloody these days...Wouldn't even deign to notice me if she ran over me with her limo.
"As always. Should you be caught and staked...Or fried at dawn...We don't know you...Though Nina will be a good mom to Will, Jr."
"This tape will self-destruct in five seconds....Just kidding. Anyway, let me give you the low-down on the Cruise place...."
William ripped the tape out and threw it in the trash.
Hell, might as well make it a little challenging...
Mission: Impossible theme play ...
Cut to shot of William in glasses and formal suit entering Italian hotel. Cut to shot of confident, hulking security chief assuring rather overanxious Tom Cruise of his estate's safety from the curious...Cut to shot of hidden William in estate cubbyhole viewing Tom Cruise pulling human mask off to reveal hideous demon underneath...Cut to shot of Katie Holmes in passionate embrace of William in suit...Cut to shot of furious Buffy Summers in maid's outfit with small camera dangling at side catching said Katie and Will...Cut to shot of furious Mr. Cruise pounding fist on table a'la Richardo Montalban...Cut to shot of secret global warming weapon being dedicated to memory of Lord and Master L. Ron Hubbard by Cruise...Cut to shot of Buffy and William arguing...Cut to shot of Katie Holmes assuring William of her ignorance of Cruise's evil scheme...Cut to shot of Buffy rolling eyes...Cut to shot of Cruise and Holmes sans human masks exchanging gleeful sneers at handcuffed Buffy and Will about to meet doom by laser...Cut to shot of Cruise sneering as Holmes takes laser in forehead...Cut to shot of Buffy and Will free chasing Cruise to escape copter...Cut to shot of Cruise being forced to autograph both of their photos of the wedding couple before he is dispatched...Cut to nervous press agent trying to plausibly explain "tragic honeymoon accident"...Cut to shot of Buffy and Will fuming at each other...Cut to shot of Buffy's stunned face as Will mentions lil' Will...Cut to shot of Will's blinking face as Buffy shows picture of her own William Jr. currently home with Dawn...
Fade to black..Mission: Impossible end theme...