Distaff Side...



Summary: The souls of Lois Lane and William the Bloody (Awful Poet) bump into each other in Heaven and discuss their respective superhero lovers...

"So..." the dark-haired woman pauses...Taking her drink again...Pity you can't get really smashed in Heaven's bars... "He was always... "Just can't take the risk, Lois...If Lex ever got hold of my wife...And children...Or my other enemies learned of my secret identity and those who I love..."..."

"And yet...He was willing to let me run around for years, not knowing who Clark was...Even though Lex and practically every guy who went up against him knew I was his girl...Hell, he practically advertised it, flying me around all the time..."

Well...William hesitates...He was probably protecting his family...That adoptive mom and dad...?

"So...I meant that little to him?...I was ready to die for him...I didn't care...Besides...He could've hunted Lex down...The fact is he, he couldn't bear to end the game between them...His ole boyhood pal and him..."

Ready to die for him...Will sighs...God, he knows where she's coming from...

"Well...He did say he loved you...And kept coming to you..." Will notes... "Did you believe him?..."

Yeah...Lois hangs her head...Always...Every time...

"Buffy said I love you...Once...But..." he sighs... "I knew she was just being kind..."

"But..." Lois eyes him sympathetically... "You said she did want to "see where this was going..."...?"

She must have been interested...

"Oh...Yes..." he nods... "I think she did care...And she did render me a "service of love" as Joe Lash ...You ever meet Joe, Eleanor Roosevelt's friend, the writer?...said about Eleanor regards FDR...She believed in me, helped me redeem myself...That can't be forgotten..."

Still...I wouldn't have objected if she'd clubbed me over the head and dragged me to safety...he ruefully smiles...

"She was only a kid, still...Trying to find her way...I can't ask too much of her..." he shakes his head...

You want to see her again...Here, maybe...Someday?...Lois eyes him...

"Well...I won't lie and say I wouldn't take her back in a hot minute..." he grins...But I don't think she's the one-man woman type...

"But...What about you, Lois?...When he does get here, if ever?...It's not like he's been chasing other women...Unlike a certain LA "hero" I know..."

Would you try again with him?...When he can't use the "gotta protect my loved ones" routine...?

"I dunno..." she pauses... "He's obviously afraid of commitment...Like your girl...Even if he wants to be true to me...He may just be putting me on a pedestal...His unattainable love...And frankly..."

He's not quite as unvarnished a hero as his rep gives out...

"See...You were asking the other day about Lex...How he could be here?..." she eyes him...

Yeah...Will stares...I thought he was the Warren Mears of your existence...It seemed insane...



"Lex is a hero...Unsung in our dimension, poor fellow..." she sighs...

Thank God, Lana learned the truth here...And is smoothing things with the folks here who don't know...

Hmmn...? Will waits...

"Back in Smallville, Lex and Clark were buddies...Both were fighting the potential for darkness in themselves...Like you, Will...And Lex gradually managed to set himself on a path to a decent life...Overcame his nature...Clark trying to do the same..."

"See...Clark had his own dark side...The arrogant "strange visitor from another planet...With powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men..."..." she quotes, smiling... "...was always inside him...Ready to come out and look down on us petty humans who needed his aid...And guidance..."

Lex was jealous of what Clark could become, sure...But Clark was jealous of Lex, too...The human friend who only needed to adjust a little...Find some love and kindness to make him a good man...Whereas Clark could never escape from Superman...

Then, after Clark found the key to his alien father's database...This virtual reality "Fortress of Solitude..." He and Lex went there...

And dear ole alien dad and mom met them...And told them of the great danger...

Oh...?

"His dad had done projections of the impact of a Superbeing living on Earth...Even with the best intentions and a good character, there was an 87% chance that he'd lead Earth to disaster...Ruling the world for its own good, a benevolent dictator...Eventually sure to become a tyrant as humans chaffed at his well-intentioned, paternal rule...Retarding human development fatally..."

And the other 13%?...

"Humans would revolt and destroy Earth trying to destroy him..." she sighed...

Hmmn...Sounds a little like what's happening with some of those activated Slayers on my Earth...he notes...

Hopefully our old team and Giles' new Council can stop them...

"I'm sure it will work out..." Lois pats him... "The Earths never end as a result of these evil types...Someone or something always comes around..."

So...Clark and Lex...? William eyes her...

"Well...Clark's alien dad and mom told him...The only sure way to hold back that arrogance in his nature was to have it strengthened...Preferably by an inhabitant of Earth...Contributing his own strength of will and conscience...and natural sympathy for humans...A mental fusion of sorts..."

And his friend Lex...Volunteered?...

He did...And lost his chance to lead a happy, valuable life...Fell prey to his dark nature...

But it had to be...Lex knew it was less dangerous for him to go the evil way than for Clark to fail...

And the one real sin...Clark has never admitted what he and his "Superman" owe to Lex...she sighs

"My God..." Will shook his head...

So Superman was really the combination of Clark Kent and Lex Luther in the end...?



"Too much power for any one being...Even a "strange visitor from another planet..." to handle..." Lois nodded...

"Well...That will never happen to my Buffy..." he shakes his head...

"It's unavoidable..." Lois hastily asserts...A bit miffed for her boy...

No, no...I don't mean it that way...Will waves a hand...I understand and even Buffy was afraid of her power and the effect it had on her...But...

She's safe from that fate...There are many Slayers now and she's just one of them...The best...The First...he grins...Among Equals...

"I suppose..." Lois nods...

Pity there couldn't have been more decent Kryptonians left from the destruction of Krypton...

"So...Will...?" she looks at him... "You're originally from 1880?...London?..."

Hmm-hmmn...he nods...

Odd...You know I think I had a past life in 19th century England...On one Earth...Lois ponders...

Worked as a chambermaid for some family...The Under...Damn...What was it...? Oh yes...The Underwoods...

"Underwoods...?" Will stares... "The Underwoods of Berkley Square...? Cecily, the only daughter?.."

Yes...That's it...I was her personal maid for a while...What was my name?...

"Anne?...Cecily's maid?..."

Anne...That's it.. Anne...Lois nods...

Oh...My...God...she puts a hand to her mouth...

"You...You are young Mr. Walthrop!...The poor boy!...Oh dear God!..." she stares...

Oh, William...I was so sad when I heard about your death...That awful, heartless girl...she shakes her head...

Anne...he stares...I remember you...But you were forty-two at the time..Right?

Yes...she nods...Oh, Mr. Walthrop...she reverts to an English accent...

"You were always so kind to me when you came by to see Miss Cecily...I..." she smiles...

"I used to go and plant flowers on you and your mum's graves...I felt so badly for you..."

"I remember seeing you, Anne...That night..." he pauses... "Just as I ran out...You were looking at me...Such kindness in your eyes..."

I was so grateful, someone cared a little...I've never forgotten it...I kept looking for it in so many people all those years...Found it again in a few...Like Buffy's mother...

"Well...I hated to see you suffer, William...For such a cold and unfeeling girl..."

Do you still write poetry...? she eyes him...

"Try to..." he nods...Not very much improved, I'm afraid...



"I'd like to see it...Sometime..." she smiles...

"Maybe you could come for dinner...Bring your latest..."

I still write myself...Essays...Short stories...

"I would love to..." he beams...

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