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men who change diapers change the world

Friday, 2 March 2007
Expired: MommyWars - Tired: BetaMale - Wired: MomBlocker
Topic: articles
 Unabridged (v 1.1)

a dad having a strong need to control his wife.

[Origin: March 12, 2007 - Amy Sohn]
New York Magazine article Unabridged (v 1.0)



Today's new made up word is Momblocker.  It's courtesy of  Amy Sohn who will show it off in next weeks New York Magazine article In short a momblocker is a control-freak dad.  Amy defines them as the men you see chastising their wives for not dressing the baby warmly enough or using only the three-point latch in the stroller, not the five. They insist on pushing the stroller on family outings, they crowd their kids on the jungle gyms, they spend hours online researching high chairs. Somewhere along the line, Mom gave up her automatic veto power?and Dad seized it for himself.  As proof that these dads exist she interviewed Greg Allen of Daddytypes who actually does spend hours online researching high chairs.  Sohn notes that Allen became a de facto momblocker during the first three months of his daughter?s life, when he and his wife stayed home to care for her. ?We decided that I would do EBB?everything but breast-feeding?to help her out. It was so much easier for her to let me change the diaper and give the kid a bath than to do it herself and risk screwing up. It took a lot of effort for her finally to say, ?I need to learn how to do this now.'   

Coincidently, (amazingly?) Allen was also quoted last year to discuss the opposite theory in a Time article titled ?When Moms are Gatekeepers?. (These are moms who ask for help but tell hubby exactly how they want it done).  In it Po Bronson quotes him as saying,  A pattern is established in childbirth and breastfeeding that can be hard to break, The mother becomes the expert first, then cringes as she watches her husband awkwardly stumble through his learning curve. As she hears the cries of her fragile infant, she can't help but interrupt.  

As for the new word? Amy actually thought of it in response to this same Time piece, where Bronson states, As many as a quarter of all new moms are actually blocking their husbands' attempts at involved fathering.  

Oh and another thing about that sentence. A quarter of all new moms? I'd like to know where that statistic come from.... but if it were true, 75% of us must be Momblockers.




Posted by athomedad at 12:56 PM EST
Updated: Friday, 2 March 2007 1:22 PM EST
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Thursday, 1 March 2007
Colbert Report - Stay at Home Dads Threatening the American Way of Life
Thanks Rebeldad for first spotting this absolutely hilarious Steven Colbert video featuring Amin Stokesbury  of the Austin at


Thanks Rebeldad for spotting this absolutely hilarious Steven Colbert video featuring Eamon Stookesberry of the Austin At-Home Dads.  It's a  Colbert Report Exclusive Report: Stay at Home Dads - part of a dangerous movement that's threatening  the American way of life. No doubt Eamon, (if that is his real name) and his wife were very good sports to agree to be a part of Colbert Nation.



Posted by athomedad at 8:25 PM EST
Updated: Thursday, 1 March 2007 10:21 PM EST
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The inside poop on Brad Pitt and Bruce Cantrall !
Topic: celebrity dads

The Inside Poop >>   I've noticed a small trend about two types of at-home dad stories. You know, the ones about us and the ones about celebrity dads. Every time a story about dads with kids crosses the copy editor's desk he/she has to describe us as a Mr Mom or a Stay at-home dad in the headline.  For instance Brad Pitt was a Mr Mom in this  headline about missing the Oscars so he could stay home with the kids a few days, but Bruce Cantrall's  Northeast Wisconsin At Home Dads group were Stay-At-Home Dads in this headline.  Of course we will always find a misplaced Mr Mom heading but it just seems they will be reserved more for Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise's table. 

 Do your own research here:  googlefight   



Posted by athomedad at 2:58 PM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 7 March 2007 8:24 AM EST
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Wednesday, 28 February 2007
A "Top Ten" List of At-Home Dad Videos
At At

I added this new video feature to help sort out the growing trend of daddy videos being posted on YouTube.  After wading though a few bad dad music videos I managed to find an interesting mix of TV commercials, local at-home dad interviews, old TV shows (check out McComb at the top of this list),  a daddy home cleaning video (this guy can clean!), a comedy bit, and of course clips from the Mr Mom Movie. If you are looking for the Mr Mom music video from Lonestar (the most popular search), its not on YouTube but you can see it here. (I added a new videos link to the masthead so you can view them when this post is buried)

Posted by athomedad at 11:54 AM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 28 February 2007 5:13 PM EST
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Tuesday, 27 February 2007
This is what happens when you get too close to an oven fan.

Check out these annoying noises this collection of six gentle, expertly recorded "white noise" sounds.

1. Listen  Clothes Dryer Hum

2. Listen  Hair Dryer Whistle
3. Listen  Washing Machine Purr
4. Listen  Vacuum Cleaner Waltz
5. Listen  Washer and Dryer Combo Special
6. Listen  White Noise Plain Wrap


And that's what happens when this at-home dad from California got a little too close to his oven fan. If you don't want to spend the $14.95 you may download my son's version for free.

Posted by athomedad at 10:59 AM EST
Updated: Tuesday, 27 February 2007 11:15 AM EST
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Monday, 26 February 2007
Why do sexy dads get all the chicks? (rats!)
At New Page 1

Well we've seen that monkeys can be at-home dads, but  how many other male animal species can make the same claim? A quick look in YouTube  uncovered this male rat experimenting with the primary care-giver role. I began an afternoon search for the hardest working animal dad, so I looked for more research and researched that research and the Oscar for hardest working male species goes to.... The Emperor Penguin. And by a landslide. And its not because they were last years Oscar winner for best documentary, or that they were chosen to be the mascot for the  North East Wisconsin At-Home Dads. It's because after the female penguin lays her egg she hands it off to dad and takes off shopping for more food.... 2 months later she comes back, but not before dad (with the egg balanced on his feet the whole time) freezes and starves half to death. 

Below are the 4 runner ups:

1. The Seahorse Dad  - Tennessee Aquarium's curator of fishes says the male gets the eggs from mom and carries them to term. Dad isn't technically pregnant but he's got them 'em in his pouch till they are born.. These guys really got cheated out of the award. 

2. The Reah (Big Bird) Dad - (The largest bird from South America.) When the Reah mom hatches her eggs she shacks up with other Reah dads while the biological dad takes over and attacks anyone, (even the mom) who comes near the eggs.   (He beat out the Cassowary Bird Dad, from Australia who sits on the eggs for a few months then does the child care for the first nine months. not bad.)

 3. The Sand Goby Dad (a small fish from the British coast) - Nothing to be proud of here really. This research from the  University of Florida - (2004) shows that when the females are watching and double-checking everything like wives usually do, the dads will protect the eggs, but when mom isn't around the house,  dad tends to eat them. The researchers note "being a good [Sand Goby] father is very sexy. This is almost a cliche, as it has become a standard joke that the best way to get women to be interested in you as a single guy is to borrow a baby or a puppy. Women obviously find ‘caring guys’ very sexy". 

4. Lions, bears, prairie dogs, orcas, gray whales, and sheep (tie). - If you have read this far, these animals and more are explored in  Jeffrey Masson's amazing, extensive (and certainly more legitimate then mine)  research of other research in his book, The Emperor's Embrace: Reflections on Animal Families and Fatherhood


The Barking Frog Dad Fraud  - The Barking Frog dad was getting credit for guarding the "egg clutch" which stemmed from 1950's research but it was disqualified for a nomination because the Tucson Herpetological Society put the myths to rest with their own studies stating " our radio-tracking data from Arizona suggests that males move too frequently to guard eggs and that females may stay with the clutch (Goldberg and Schwalbe, 2000)."

Posted by athomedad at 4:10 PM EST
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Friday, 23 February 2007
Even Monkeys not Exempt from Mr Mom Label

While cruising for stories  I came across this headline from the Baltimore Sun: In primate colony, titi monkey dads take on the role of Mr. Mom I can't interview these monkeys on what they thought of the headline but the story is worth mentioning. Seems that the folks at the California National Primate Research Center  found that mom monkeys are pretty rough on their kids and dad is more than happy to take over. In the story UC Davis psychology professor  Karen Bales, says,  In most monogamous species, the dads are really good. It's just taken to an extreme in titi monkeys because the moms are kind of bad, sometimes  you watch a titi monkey mom and you feel like she doesn't like her babies." Titi babies tend to ride draped across a parent's shoulders, and when mom wants the kid off her back, her favorite strategy for shifting responsibility [to dad]  is to make the baby cry.   

A new Digg for Dads  - Don Leister of fame has turned his main page into sort of a  Digg for Dads. He's done great with his dads forum, and with the dads site clogging the blogosphere It's a great idea.  If you would like to submit your blog send him a line with your feed.

Posted by athomedad at 12:13 PM EST
Updated: Friday, 23 February 2007 6:42 PM EST
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Wednesday, 21 February 2007
Mannys (slowly) invade America (thank you Britney Spears!)

 An alert reader, found this excellent piece in the Daily Telegraph by British reporter Sarah Ebner on male nannies or mannys.  She interviews Holly Peterson's for her book The Manny due for American release in a few months. Peterson (who has 3 children) notes "Boys play differently to women, the nanny is more of a comforter, while the manny is a 'throw me across the room' kind of guy. They fool around, play football and are happy to run around and around the park.''  Of course we knew this all along, in an old At-Home Dad Newsletter article I wrote 10 years ago  daycare daddy John Wise said "The only structure around here is snack, nap and lunch time." Wise calls it the "rhythm method". "Why would you want to break that rhythm by forcing another activity when everything is fine. If things are running smoothly we will continue with it as long as the kids are enjoying it." 2 other day care daddies I interviewed for the same story had a similar "let the kids run around" style.  

We can thank Britney Spears (and her Fed-ex) for sticking this whole manny issue into the limelight last year,  but an  interesting stat may reflect the true public opionion. In an online survey from a Tinies Nanny Agency quiz it was revealed that four fifths of mothers would feel threatened by a female nanny, but only half of the dads felt the same threat. 

Posting on the manny story in the message board last week "Carlos" wrote:

 "Careers have been more important for a long time.. take a look at the before school program that includes breakfast.  or the after school "latch key" programs.  it seems that most of America would rather "farm out" time with their kids.  The saddest part is that most of the time the second parent is working and earns just enough to pay for the new cars in the driveway, and day care expenses.  I even know a few stay at home parents that send their kids to day care 5 days a week....(so they can have a break)....does that qualify as a stay a home parent?  or is it skipping out on the kids and perusing laziness as a career?     I think it's about time that The "Manny" gets some attention. I'm waiting for the debut of "Super Manny"....

Posted by athomedad at 3:19 PM EST
Updated: Thursday, 22 February 2007 9:14 AM EST
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Monday, 19 February 2007
James Dobson rings Kyle Pruett's doorbell and runs away.
Topic: Kyle Pruett

Sorry for the 2nd Pruett video in a row but the popular At-Home Dad Convention keynote speaker had to give a little spanking to patriarchal marriage crusader James Dobson for "cherry-picking" his research. Looks like he grabbed a sentence from Pruett's  Fatherneed book to make a point in a Time Op ed piece titled Two Mommies is One Two Many.  Jim Burroway of the Turtle Box Bulletin does a great job of reporting the dirty details here. The whole mess was discovered by Wayne Besen, of the watchdog group Truth Wins Out who was the first to inform Pruett of  Dobson's bad behavior. So far Dobson is not responding to Pruett's effects to contact him.

Posted by athomedad at 2:29 PM EST
Updated: Monday, 19 February 2007 10:03 PM EST
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Friday, 16 February 2007
The earliest at-home dad TV interview ever?


Check out this vintage 1983 TV clip of Hour Magazine that was just stuck on youtube. You got host Gary Collins  interviewing the relatively young Kyle Pruett and a dad who Collins giddily exclaims is a real life Mr Mom!  What's interesting about this kids glove interview is that Collins describes it as a "relatively new phenomenon"  How did they know this? Well I am guessing they got their proof due to the the hot movie Mr Mom which was was coincidently released that year. 

Playground News Update -  I've added 2 more entries to the playgroup list... first, Brian Russell of Oregon noticed  there wasn't a single dad's group in the state, so he decided to be the first one. If you live in or near Portland, get in touch. Second If you live down-under check out the Aussie Dads from Australia.

Posted by athomedad at 1:38 PM EST
Updated: Friday, 16 February 2007 10:47 PM EST
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