Sorry for the lack of posting lately, kids are out of school & family issues are taking up time. I will not be posting much during the summer. We have had a furoius thread going on the message board about the kids being home during the summer or weekends while the spouse is still working. In one post a reader writes of the weekends: "Me being the kitchenbitch (self elected title) still does all food and plays host to the paycheck person (sounds grim, but I actually enjoy it most of the time, thus we decided this role change. But I really wonder sometimes WHEN we do have weekend .. And with this initial Vacation post (of course I thought immediately this will be the post of a panicked AHD who things he cannot control the kids if wife is 2 weeks out of town) I realized that having wife as a 'stay at home princess' for 2 weeks must be quite a challenge!"

The convention At-Home Dad Convention is still being shaped up. Kyle Pruett will be the Keynote speaker. Dr. Kyle Pruett is an international authority on child development with a special interest in fatherhood and its effects on children. Dr. Pruett is the author of the award-winning book The Nurturing Father, and was the host of the Lifetime Cable series Your Child Six to Twelve with Dr. Kyle Pruett.

Coming to your home soon.... reality.
Topic: tv shows
I spoke today with an ABC staffer working on a new show titled "The Swap" And they would like one of the readers of the newsletter to get the first shot to do the show. (This is based on the show "Wife Swap" which has been hugely popular in Britain and has made it overseas.) The full details have not been worked out yet but they will either have a dad head up another family or you can "swap" your wife to another family.... they may even do both formats. Now, messing around with a family is eerie to me and I don't know if I am up for advertising this idea, but with a huge audience that ABC will surely command, maybe one of us can help put a dent in the Mr. Mom myth that still exists today.

The requirements? They are looking for an at-home dad who is married, has kids 6 years old or older, and has a "strong personality" (in other words we are looking for the Rupert of at-home dads). You would also need to commit to 10 days during this summer (exact shooting times are still undetermined). The show will be aired on ABC in September. Interested? Or know someone who might be? Send an e-mail to Guy Merrill. Their site about the show is down as they are switching servers today but ought to be up by tomorrow.

While on the subject, another major network may present their own at-home dad reality show since they dont want to miss the boat. They have already filmed 24x7 the life of an at-home dad gone haywire. This one may also appear in the Fall, I can't tell you too much yet as I am still talking to the assistant producer about it, but I will keep you posted.

This at-home dad has not left the arena

When the avalanche of Father's Day at-home dad articles started coming out in the early 90's you just had to be an at-home dad for the media to come knocking at your door. Even though we still see the standard Fathers Day article, the media is starting to demand a little more. For example St Petersburg Times reporter Robert King wrote this piece about Elvis Impersonator Kenny Grube of Florida who happens to be an at-home dad. The best benefit: he can play for free at his daughters elementary school.

The Marian (CA) Independent Journal interviewed Austin Murphy who wrote the recent book How Tough Can It Be? The interview is actually a little funnier than the book which isn't saying too much. I'm looking forward for the next wave of Father's Day articles this coming week. If you see any worthy of sharing to the readers send them my way.

Book Review - How Tough Could It Be?

When I got the review copy of How Tough Could It Be by Austin Murphy, I liked the snazzy cover of a man in apron holding a mop and a soapy frying pan. Timed to come out in time for Fathers day, the publisher probably figured the cover alone would snag a bunch of moms and moms-in laws to buy a copy as a quick gift and a nice spike in their Amazon Rating. The premise of the book looked great too: Austin Murphy lives the rush-rush life of a writer for Sports Illustrated and takes off 6 months from his job and switches places with his wife (so she can live a similar rush-rush life) to care for his 2 young kids.

The first thing that surprised me was that his kids were both going to grade school during his six month "Experiment". To be honest, I'm not sure what's so amazing about staying home for 6 months with two kids who are in elementary school.

OK, I read on, maybe the book will be ?laugh out loud funny? as the book flap says. I am still waiting to hear him talk about his kids, but it sounds like he has more problems with his wife than his kids. He starts by making you wade through pages after page of his wife's allergies to certain foods, and the elaborate recipes to please her taste. The book then turns into a venting tool telling us that his wife Laura doesn't notice his cleanup chores (he even has to clean the house for the house cleaners who come to his house 12 times during his 6 month stint). The I-don?t?get respect whining continues throughout the book ad nauseam. When she finally gives thanks for making dinner he remarks "It seems like a lot of work for six words of praise." Later in the book his wife, accurately reflecting his thoughts says "...You're feeling the resentment that ninety-five percent of moms feel every day, where you think to yourself, "It's like I do every f-----g thing here"

OK? I?m still waiting to hear about his kids, but he wanders off even more by writing about the Iraq war, even filling the pages with a transcript of Secretary Ridge's directives on what to do due to the latest terrorism warnings.

When he finally writes something about his kids I felt I was reading a screenplay for a TV Family sitcom, you know the predictable half hour night time numbing sessions that get Cancelled after a few episodes. For example, he writes of his "adventures" with his kids during a disastrous trip to Las Vegas, where the only good time the kids have is watching the same Harry Potter Movie 3 times in their hotel room at the Flamingo. Even ice cream sundaes turn the kids into a catastrophic tantrum as they didn?t get sprinkles. Or there?s the expensive birthday party (which he prepares for 6 weeks) for his daughter celebrated at a climbing gym. He spends $22.50 for 9 custom invitations, $214 for an "American Girl" Dollhouse (plus $35 to have it express mailed), $25 for an "Art Kit", $180 to use the climbing gym, and $70.00 for plates and cups and "treat bags" That?s $546.45 so far not including the $20 worth of candy bars he grabs because the girls are "starving" before they have their cake. (The last birthday party I had for my son, his friends played in the back yard, had cake & ice cream, and a few presents. Jesus, doesn't anyone do that any more?)

Contrary to the title of his book, he finally admits how easy he has it, "I'm still no more than a day-tripper, an actor immersing himself into a role. I?m not a real mother, but I play one on TV."

I will applaud his efforts to volunteer several times for his kid?s schools, something that dads need to do more often. One event was a variety show which came out so well that he finally gets his long sought after praise from the mothers - praise that he had so much trouble getting from his wife.

Not recommended: If you want something "Laugh out loud funny" for Father?s Day get Dave Barry's "Complete Guide to Guys? If you want something written with passion about their kids, get Samual Osherson's "The Passions of Fatherhood" (one cent on Amazon!).

The first ever satire of an at-home dad article has been done by the National Lampoon. Under the guise of the Housekeeping Monthly, the title is: The Comtemporary (sic) Guide For Stay At Home Dads. It's complete with tips, on cleaning, cooking, laundry and "bedroom duties" (sex). Of course this means we are officially in the mainstream. I thought You'd get a kick out of it even though it's for the Junior High crowd, (I started reading National Lampoon after I stopped reading Mad when I was 13). One of the tips given: How to straighten up around the house - A clean house will go a long way in your wife?s eyes. To make this chore much easier, use a snow-shovel or the blunt edge of plywood, and push the toys into a neat pile behind a door or into a neglected hall closet. Dishes that might have accumulated during the day should be piled high on the kitchen counter. Preferably, right next to the empty dishwasher. One outstanding Stay at Home Dad told us how he would move and clear the furniture so that when his wife came home, she had a clear and unobstructed path to vacuum. Thanks for the Tip Doug!

I've finally started reading "How Tough Can It Be" Rebel Dad has already read it and posted his comments. I will have comments on it soon as well as The Daily Yak.

Dads Fishing in Florida and a Trixie Update Update

Instead of the traditional Dads night out Jim LoCascio of Cape Coral, FL and Capt. Mark Gauthier of Nokomis, FL organized a weekend deep-sea fishing trip last month. Veteran at-home dads Bob Nooner came down from Illinois, and Roland LaScala from Ohio to join 4 other at-home dads. In the photo at left Bob Boisvert of Largo, FL caught the most fish - mostly groupers. Jim plans to make this an annual event, and has already scheduled the next one for March 5, 2005. If you would like to join these guys next year you can get more info at their web site or email Jim at jimloc@swfla.rr.com. To hear more fish stories talk to Bob or Roland (he won the pool with the largest keeper fish with a nearly 24 inch long red grouper) at the next At-Home Dads convention in Chicago. I would go but I fish every year in Maine with my brother and bro-in-law. Here's our Men's Fishing Weekend site.

Now for an update on The Trixie Update. The last time I mentioned Ben McNeill's blog the media was taking notice. Now he wants to see if he can cash in on is quasi-famous blog site where he tracks sleep, naps, nursing, diaper leaks, bottle-feedings of his daughter Trixie in real time. He has tweaked his new software and has dubbed it "the Trixie Tracker". When I first saw this site I wondered how could he spend all day on the blog to keep it updated. With the software he designed, he was able to just hit a function key on the computer every time the baby poops, pees or needs a diaper and his software does the rest organizing, it into charts and graph.. For example when he changes a diaper he hits F9. So why do we need this? He claims by knowing his daughters sleep patterns he knows "when I can take a shower or have some personal time." Family members could track to see what the baby is doing from work. He wants to charge thirty bucks for a year to use his software.. This is an interesting idea, and he has made good use of his computer design skills during his kids naptime but I don't know if I want to hit the "Escape" Key every time the baby has a diaper leak.