Have you been watching ads for new television previews? Does Fastlane look good to you? Do you think that Bram and Alice will be the next breakout series on CBS? Are you betting that Hidden Hills will be an Emmy winner next year? If so, then you too, have been hoodwinked by the promise of slick advertising, and poor programming on the upcoming fall television season. Join Melanie Burkes as she explores what to look for in a quality new series, and how you can find a rose among the thorns that being thrown at the American audience this season.

The funny thing about the fall television season is that there is all this flash, furor and focus about all the great new shows that are coming on television. I have never seen so many advertisements for programs that inevitably, after 2-5 episodes, will soon be canceled. In fact my friends and I have started a pool on which show will be canceled first. I have good money on Hidden Hills and The In-Laws on NBC and Fastlane on Fox. However, I can't rule out Bram and Alice on CBS. But what do I know . . . I could have never predicted that Yes, Dear on CBS would still be on television. Whatever the odds, what it all comes down to is a similar pattern, that unfortunately, let's quality, offbeat shows fall through the cracks.

Notwithstanding a miracle, all fall television show premieres pretty much fall into the same pattern. First the television show is hyped up to be damned. There are television ads, radio ads, newspaper articles, and endorsements. Inevitably, the new stars of the most promising sitcoms and dramas receive front-page attention on the covers of TV Guide, Entertainment Weekly, and US. We are then subjected to their inane banter with Katie and Matt and Diane and Charlie, or whatever random tandem pair is hosting the CBS Morning Show this week. Then due in part to this overexposure anywhere from 8 million to 23 million of us tune in on Monday or Tuesday or Thursday night to see the new show premiere. The next day, all of the same televisions shows, newspapers and magazines have declared the fall's new next big hit. However, the very next week some of the viewership has fallen off, and maybe only 10 or 12 million tune in, in contrast to the 19 million that tuned in the first week. Throughout this second week, the networks, the producers and the stars keep a good face up, and proclaim that it is still a hit and that the drop off can be attributed to the other quality programs available out there, or that there was new movie out that week or whatever. By the third week, the viewership has stumbled to 5 million, and the executives-that-be at the four major networks are dusting off the pilots of programs that they have shelved for mid-season premieres for this very circumstance. By week four or five, at the most, the series is gone, and it has become a trivia question. As in what television sitcoms were canceled by November sweeps in the fall of 2001? ( Emeril, Citizen Barnes and Thieves just to name a few).

Despite the fact that this proves to provide many hours of comedy for fanatical television freaks like myself, unfortunately, it does a grave disservice to the television audience at large. Deep, rich, and complex shows are not given a chance to develop because they only have three (3) or four (4) weeks or make or break themselves.( No one has any patience anymore.) Did you know that Cheers was not a hit when it premiered originally on NBC? No one was watching Sam or Coach or Diane. No one gave a flying fig about Norm or Cliff. But, because it was different time in the mid-80s, NBC stuck with it, and it became an anchor for their "Must See TV" Thursday nights. Perhaps it can be attributed to MTV or video games or the Internet. But all of a sudden the American public has the attention span of a gnat. Accordingly, excellent shows, with excellent writing like Sports Night, Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared aren't given a chance in hell, and are thus thrown off the landscape like some old garbage.

(I am finally getting to my point, now - three long paragraphs later). This singular diatribe brings me to one of my favorite shows on television right now: Monk. Passed over by ABC for two years in a row, Monk has resurrected with quality reviews and a great audience on USA Network. Yet because it didn't fit in the pattern: family sitcom; work place sitcom; homicide/detective show; medical drama or Friends wannabe, Monk wasn't paid that much attention. But, it is quality programming in spite of the fact that it doesn't fit into one of these sad little tried and true formulas. Starring Tony Shaloub, as a detective with more twitches than Billy Bob Thorton, Monk makes his way through the world by avoiding dirt, disorder, by all means milk. Although it sounds kind of quirky, it is these very quirks that make Monk so enjoyable. It's not the bland, laugh tracked, stereotypical gags that we get from most sitcoms. It is something different, a little offbeat, and quite special. And that is what we need more of. Perhaps if ABC had given it a chance, they would have a hit on their hands, and they wouldn't have to rely so strongly on Alias to bring them through this tough period. (Plus, I can't help but smile at the irony that ABC is now airing Monk reruns after they passed up the opportunity to run it originally in the first place - even networks get what they deserve.)

So - what is the whole point of my relentless diatribe? It is to get you, the television viewer's attention. It is to get you the television viewer to search out for something new and different. Don't be sold a repackaged, slicked-up, cheesy bill of goods that has been promoted as the best thing to hit television since Oprah. Be a little smarter in your choices. Seek out something a little different, something that will make you chuckle in unexpected ways, or think about things you don't usually think of. Try to find Monk or the next Freaks and Geeks or the next Sports Night. Don't succumb to the fickle foe that is slick and dishonest television promotion. If we all fell for that, the next thing you know, we'll be thinking that Homeboys in Space is going to be the next big thing...and what will you have to say for yourself then?

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Melanie Burkes is a twenty something corporate attorney in Washington, D.C. Much to the chagrin of her parents and all of the banks holding her student loans, Melanie plans on quitting her job as a lawyer as soon as possible, and shall strike out for the wealth of riches that awaits her in the broadcast journalism field. In her spare time, Melanie likes to read current literature, prepare meals for her friends, and plots the overthrow of her current employer.