But fall is also a time for beginnings. Most notably it is a time for the yearly dog and pony show referred to as the new fall season on television. As usual, there are many dogs in this bunch, but this year there are a surprising number of good picks among the crowd. So without further ado (imagine drum roll here), the following is a list of all that is new and improved on the tube this season:
ABC
According to Jim (Thursdays, 8:30 p.m.)
Starring Jim Belushi as a father of three and husband (to Courtney Thorne-Smith), Jim's full of machismo and vigor, but in reality, he is just a warm-fuzzy teddy bear. Hailed as a "guy's guy who doesn't apologize for being that way," Jim's theory of being head of the household is accomplished by agreeing with everything his wife says, and being a big ole kid himself. ABC hopes that we will laughingly follow Jim's exploits in a women-dominated environment in this traditional family comedy. A network representative is quick to point out that Jim is not really dumb, he's just funny. Yeah . . . right.
Alias (Sundays, 9 p.m., www.alias-online.com)
La Femme Nikita, uh, I mean Alias, stars Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow, a college student who was recruited by a government agency, SD-6, a division of the CIA, to foil the world-domination plans of bad guys everywhere. After Sydney accidentally on purpose lets it slip to her boyfriend that she is actually a secret covert agent for the CIA, SD-6 shuts him up permanently. Pissed off, and armed with the knowledge that SD-6 is really the enemy, Sydney vows revenge. This is definitely one to catch.
Bob Patterson (Tuesdays, 9 p.m.)
This is the second post-Seinfeld outing by one of the mainstays on Seinfeld. I am sure all involved have their fingers crossed that it goes a hell of a lot better than the first one (The Michael Richards Show, starring the same, tanked abysmally, after just a few episodes on NBC last year). This time around, it is Jason Alexander who has stepped up to the plate. Alexander stars as Bob Patterson, self-proclaimed as the "nation's number three motivational speaker" and self-help guru. Only (here's the kicker!) his life is actually a mess. His ex-wife left him, his son is a surly teenager, and he can't trust his partner. The early word is not too good, and that watching it will only make viewers reminisce on how good Seinfeld really was.
Philly (Tuesdays, 10 p.m.)
Stars Kim Delaney as Kathleen Maguire, a recently divorced, newly emancipated law school graduate and single mother. After her law partner has a breakdown, Delaney partners with a shady young associate, Tom Everett Scott, to help her fight for her clients, and tackle her caseload. Executive produced by Stephen Bochco, Philly is a gritty (their word, not mine) look at a realistic court system in which most cases are pled-out instead of being tried in court. Given Bochco's participation, expect at least one gratuitous shot of a bare ass, per episode.
Thieves (Fridays, 9 p.m.)
I have been anxiously awaiting this day with bated breath. And it has finally come. The day that John Stamos would return to the prime time line up on network television. I mean, who can get enough of Full House? The aforementioned stars with Melissa George as Johnny and Rita, a team of thieves (get it?) who were caught red-handed, and are now forced to steal for the FBI. Of course, since both co-stars are very attractive, there is guaranteed to be plenty of sexual tension and innuendo that will keep the plot movin' right along. It has been hailed as a delightful indulgence in "escapism for a Friday night." Sort of like a baloney sandwich with mayonnaise on Wonder Bread - it tastes good, but it has no nutritional value whatsoever.
CBS
The Agency (Thursdays, 10 p.m.).
Due to the tragic events that occurred on September 11th, CBS is seriously reworking this new show. Groundbreaking in its access, The Agency was permitted to shoot inside CIA headquarters. However, incidents that include the explosion of commercial airplanes and explicit references to Osama Bin Laden have grounded at least the premiere episode. Will Patton, Gill Bellows, Gloria Rueben, Paige Turco and Rocky Carroll star in an ensemble cast as a group of espionage operatives, bureaucrats, and intelligence geeks that thwart terrorists and national-security threats. Stay tuned, for it will be interesting to see if the reworked series remains interesting.
Citizen Barnes (Saturdays, 9 p.m.)
Senator Elliot Baines (James Cromwell) is suddenly voted out of office after almost 20 years and becomes a family man again when he has to reestablish his relationships with his three daughters (Jane Adams, Jacinda Barrett and Embeth Davicitz): the wife, the free spirit, and the lawyer respectively. CBS is hoping that it is more interesting than it sounds.
Danny (Fridays, 8:30)
Daniel Stern stars as, well, Danny - a man who has just hit the big four - oh. He is also newly divorced from his wife (Joely Fisher), who he still has feelings for, a father of two teenagers, and overworked at a busy community recreation center. This is described as a funny show about what happens when life doesn't turn out how you planned. The "funny" part is yet to be seen.
Education of Max Bickford (Sundays, 8 p.m.)
Richard Dreyfuss stars as old curmudgeonly history professor Max Bickford who is having a rough go at it. His boss passes him over for a promotion, while the job goes to a former protégée (Marcia Gay Harden). His best friend (Helen Shaver), who has been on a sabbatical, has come back a she instead of a he. His daughter (Katee Sackhoff) has become a rebellious rock singer. All in all, a warm, fuzzy show that teaches its viewers that life's lessons can be learned at any age.
Ellen (Fridays, 8 p.m.)
Ellen DeGeneres stars (no surprise here) as Ellen, a slightly "off beat" character who trades her position as a dot.com executive to return to her small hometown. She eventually becomes a counselor at her old high school where her old prom date, still besotted after all these years, teaches. Billed as an "old-fashioned sitcom," Ellen chooses this time around to focus on the comedy, instead of causes. The result is a truly funny show as we giggle at Ellen who desperately tries to extricate herself from all the absurd situations she always manages to stumble into.
Guardian (Tuesdays, 8 p.m.)
Simon Baker stars as Nick Fallin, a rising attorney in his father's law firm, who is busted for drugs, and sentenced to many hours of community service at a child-advocacy legal services office. Now Nick has to juggle multiple balls: his requirements under the legal system, his boss at the legal services office, and his father (Dabney Coleman) who expects him to maintain his position in the firm. Do we really need another show about lawyers?
Wolf Lake (Wednesdays, 10 p.m.)
Lou Diamond Phillips stars in this very X-Files-like drama on Wednesdays. Phillips is John Kanin, a Seattle detective who has come to a remote town in the Pacific Northwest to search for his fiancée who has disappeared. Throw in a mystic, a local sheriff, a white wolf, and the possibility of wolf/human shape-shifters, and you have got an interesting premise.
NBC
Crossing Jordan (Mondays, 10 p.m.)
Jill Hennessy stars as Jordan Cavanaugh, a brass young medical examiner, who refuses to play by any of the rules. Putting her nose where it doesn't belong, Cavanaugh runs around town solving crimes, rankling her boss (Miguel Ferrer), and making her papa proud (Ken Howard). The creator (Tim Kring) assures us that Cavanaugh is a driven woman whose character will show the full range of emotions, while occupying a role that has mainly been played by men on TV. Do you remember Columbo looking this cute when he was solving crimes?
Emeril (Tuesdays, 8 p.m.)
Emeril Lagasse stars as a host of a popular cooking show (I know, it's a stretch). His staff is made mostly of women with Lisa Ann Walter as his producer, Sherri Shepherd as his stage manager, and Carrie Preston as his food stylist. Rounding out the cast is Robert Urich as his agent, and James Lafferty as his teenage son. I would love to say something positive, but I do not predict good things for Emeril. If all else fails (and I think it will), at least we will get some new recipes out of this.
Inside Schwartz (Thursdays, 8:30 p.m.)
Hoping to ride the coattails of the Friends lead-in audience, Inside Schwartz makes its bow in that deadly spot of 8:30 on Thursdays on NBC. This time slot has previously laid to waste quality programming such as Jesse and Cursed just to name a few. Clearly Inside Schwartz is hoping for more. Brecklin Meyer stars as wannabe sportscaster Adam Schwartz, who envisions his dating experiences as a series of sports contests. His track record isn't so good, considering that his girlfriend (Maggie Lawson) has just dumped him and he has to rely on his friends, (Miriam Shor and Bryan Callen) and his father (Richard Kline) to help him get his mojo back. Am I gonna want to watch a show that has Dick Butkus and Miles Lane giving dating advice? Probably not - but I did watch a deranged dancing baby for a couple of seasons, so you never know.
Law & Order: Criminal Intent (Sundays, 9:00 p.m.)
Because there aren't already enough Law & Order shows on television, Dick Wolf decided to create one more. L&O: Criminal Intent stars Vincent D'Onofrio, Kathryn Erbe, Courtney B. Vance and Jamey Sheridan as an elite squad within the police force who fights crime (no surprise here). What makes this different (supposedly) from the other two Law & Order's is the fact that we see the crimes from the police and perpetrator's point of view. I wonder how many more Law & Orders Wolf has left in him . . .
UC: Undercover (Sundays, 10 p.m.)
Here's the premise: we follow an elite Justice Department unit that risks their lives, and sanity to go deep undercover to take down all kinds of unimaginable bad guys. It's an ensemble cast starring Oded Fehr, Jon Seda, William Forsythe, Jarrad Paul, Vera Farmiga and Bruklin Harris. Sorry to sound bored, but I swear I described the premise of this show at least four times already.
FOX
Pasadena (Fridays, 9 p.m.)
Because network television has truly missed nighttime soaps, the creator of Dawson's Creek has brought one back this fall. Pasadena is about the rich and powerful (of course) Greenley family, which is confronted with scandal (of course) when the daughter Lily (Alison Lohman) believes that her mother (Dana Delany) has some horrible past secret (of course) with a stranger. I really don't think I need to say more, you get the idea.
Undeclared (Tuesdays, 8:30 p.m.)
Undeclared follows the exploits of clueless freshman Steven Karp, played by Jay Baruchel, at the fictional University of North Eastern Carolina. It also stars Charlie Hunnam as Karp's roommate and Carlo Gallo, as the hot girl down the hall. Created by Judd Apatow, who was behind the short-lived, but very funny Freaks & Geeks, Undeclared unabashedly looks at all the foibles and follies that all freshmen encounter in their first year of college. What makes this show so poignantly funny, is that it is so painfully familiar.
UPN
Enterprise (Wednesdays, 8:00 p.m.)
Enterprise is for those Star Trek junkies who just can't get enough. Enterprise takes place in the year 2151, where Captain Jonathan Archer (Scott Bakula) is a Starfleet pioneer (I have no idea what this means) exploring the boundaries of space. His supporting crew includes a female Vulcan (Jolene Blalock), a linguistics expert (Linda Park), an engineer (Connor Trinneer) and an alien doctor (John Billingsley). It sounds like one hell of an adventure.
One on One (Mondays, 8:30 p.m.)
Flex Alexander stars as Flex Washington, a ladies man and Baltimore Sportscaster who becomes a full-time single dad to his 14-year-old daughter (Kyla Pratt) when his ex takes a job outside of the country. The hook of the show is the fact that Flex was only 19 when he had his daughter, so both father and daughter are young and full of vigor and fun (one hopes). Washington's last project on UPN was Homeboys in Outer Space. Need I say more?
WB
Maybe It's Me (Fridays, 8:30 p.m.)
Reagan Dale Neis stars as Molly Stage, a 15-year-old who lives with a bunch of nutty family members. Her parents (Julia Sweeney and Fred Willard) are a little spacey, her grandmother hides food around the house, and her twin sisters are terrors, one brother is a Christian rocker and the other is a petty criminal. With all of those elements, there is bound to be something funny in there somewhere.
Reba (Fridays, 9:00 p.m.)
Reba McEntire plays Reba Hart, a Texas mother whose husband (Christopher Rich) has left her for his young dental hygienist, who's pregnant, and whose teenage daughter (JoAnna Garcia) is expecting also. Clearly this is another one of those situation comedies where the mother is unbearably put upon by her husband, kids, etc. Here's hoping its funny, southern accent and all.
Raising Dad (Fridays, 9:30 p.m.)
What is it with the cast of Full House? Have they all decided to return to network television at once? That said, Bob Saget stars as a widower who is raising his two daughters with the help of his father (Jerry Adler). He also teaches at the same high school as one of his unlucky daughters. If I didn't think he was funny on Full House or on America's Funniest Home Videos, is it likely that I will think he is funny now? Didn't think so.
Melanie Burkes is a twenty something corporate attorney in Washington, D.C. Much to the chagrin of her parents and all of the banks holding her student loans, Melanie plans on quitting her job as a lawyer as soon as possible, and shall strike out for the wealth of riches that awaits her in the broadcast journalism field. In her spare time, Melanie likes to read current literature, prepare meals for her friends, and plots the overthrow of her current employer.
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