From nachos to apple pipes, I've learned how to make a lot of things by
letting bands stay over at my place. Other than having enough room (you'd be
surprised as to what "enough room" means for those used to sleeping in
vans), all you really need is some booze and/or light drugs.
For everyone else, just get a bottle of Wild Turkey and some pot. Hash is
best for Americans because they're so not used to it that they will pass out
long before you have run out of stimulating conversation (i.e., "Look at my
cat! Isn't she cute? Do you have any pets?" - me). Which brings me to my
next point - you get a lot less nervous about entertaining strangers when
you know you have drugs to ply them with. If you're ever at a loss, it's
always fun to get as much gossip from the band as possible. Again, this only
really works if the band is American because they see the same people much
more often than anyone up here. Don't be afraid either, you can always gauge
pretty early on what the band will and won't talk about.
If you get sick of this or if the band isn't particularly communicative,
take them somewhere. Chinatown is always a big hit. A good tip is to take
them to the stores where they sell weird toys that play some semblance of
music or make neat noises (rayguns that speak in Chinese, etc.).
Also, don't forget to take them out for food. (I know this isn't a food review but I recently went to Bacchus and
thought that I had been given macrobiotic food; whole-wheat, non-fried, no
daal and no curry, plus it took like an hour and they forgot my samosa
once).
Basically, the great part about hosting bands is that you start to feel like
you're on vacation in your own city! Sometimes the results are educational,
sometimes not (quote: "You guys really like your Tom's donuts!"). If there
is little or no rapport between you and your new guests, assign them small
chores to do such as dishwashing or light yardwork. After all, you are
opening your door to strangers.
Liz Hysen sings and plays guitar in Picastro, who have just recorded their
debut album.
HOW TO RUN A ROCK'N'ROLL CRASHPAD
The only time
this doesn't apply is if the band plays cerebral electronic music or "new"
punk music in which case you might have to buy soy milk and spring water. To
cheer them up (they usually make really boring guests) I find those lychee
flavored gummies and other gelatinous candy really do the trick. It's also
good if you have cable.
Chinatown is good for variety
but don't, don't pretend there is Mexican food in this city because you'll
only embarrass yourself. Personally, I prefer the roti option mainly because
it's good for meat-eaters as well as vegetarians and it's a rarity in the
States. Plus, you can watch them sweat as they eat, especially at Ali's
where the home-made hot sauce shames the Mr. Goudas shit they use everywhere
else.