1. Who do you sit by? i sit by her as close as i can when i know he's going to push just that little bit. i can't stop him, but i can hold her. i sit by him as close as i can, even when he's laughing with her, looking forward to her her and her, missing her her and her. i sit by him and laugh. i sit by her and cry. she sits by me too.

 2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate: Marina. It's unusual enough so I hardly ever have to tack a letter on the end of it. I like that. Marina is the ocean. Marina is named after her great grandfather on one side named Martin, and her great grandmother on the other side named Marie. Marina is blue eyes that sometimes look green or grey. I have rarely felt like Marina lately. Marina is the little girl with ringlets who danced around the living room. I am not Marina... but I wouldn't want to be anything else. My eyes are Marina. My hair is Marina. A few of the poems I write are Marina, and most of the essays I write for some class or other. My rambles are not Marina. I've been writing it as marina lately, which seems sort of disclaiming it. Saying, this is my name but don't take it seriously. I like the way that looks a lot better. More anonymous, marina-the-place not Marina the person. The harbor, ocean, clear green water marina. On the other hand I love seeing my name in print. Marina Moses. The serious writer. The studious girl who gazes off into the distance as she taps her pen against her glasses. My middle name is Friedland. It's my mom's last name. I couldn't spell it until I was about 8. I think I might have liked a more conventional middle name, one that's a name and less of a title.

 3. Nickname: i'm Rain Ma with him, mother of rain, bigger than the sky, feeding the ocean. i'm the Whether Woman with her, i make her laugh, i make her see truth, i make her hide. with her i'm MeMe, childhood friend, farther off than ever. alone, i'm her. she. that one.

 4. Parent's names: nancy and alan. what a boring question.

 5. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake? "Sixteen candles make a lovely light But not as bright as your eyes tonight Blow out the candles, make your wish come true For I'll be wishing that you love me, too" well... next birthday anyway.

 6. Date that you regularly blow them out? december, month of supposed snow, supposed death, supposed good will towards men. do women suffer more from supposed death, supposed rebirth. is it mere teenage angst that's making me go on like this rather than just say december 24?

 7. Pets: i have a dragon that stops by my window every night at 3:38. it's red, black in starlight, and when there's a moon it's tail turns blue. we go to cloudscapes and poemlands where midnight never leaves and 4 pm sleeps all day. i have a stray cat that i brought home on a train in an alternate reality. When i stay up all night it sits on my lap and purrs and bats at my moving fingers on the keyboard. it licks my ear and tells me about birthing kittens and cat lore passed down from the egyptians. it tells me i may pray to it.

8. Height: when i was 11 i grew 6 inches in 6 months. then i stopped. i'm not short, not tall. taller than short. shorter than tall. and fatter than thin and thinner than fat, in case you were wondering. and yet somehow i'm not at all normal.

 9. Eye color: blue, when i'm in love. blue, when i'm laughing, when i'm staring at the sky and smiling. aquamarine, aquamarina, deep thinking intense. gray. when i don't want to talk about it. green, deep green, fall in and drown crying green.

10. Hair Color: brown. auburn. highlights red, bleached tips. smells good. over 14 inches. That is not dirty.

 11. Piercing: a hole in each ear, is that why i have trouble listening sometimes? a little hole to put beauty into. fill it up, make it whole, make it sparkle a little, turn beauty to gorgeousness. Will they notice, will they see how my holes sparkle and reach out to them with a smile and say "i have done this for you. i have made a hole a whole for you."

12. Tattoos: no

13. How much do you love your job (1 to 10)? my job is to get a job. my job is to wonder why I must earn money. my job is to think, to dream, to analyze. my job is to love.

14. Birthplace: goleta valley hospital, goleta city, santa barbara county, california, united states, north america, earth, solar system, milky way, universe, the belly of the great cow.

16. Current Residence: BODY: cold hacienda in santa barbara, california, etc. (see above) SOUL: the tip of the rabbit fur, or at least climbing a hair. HEART: spread out over way too many places. Drawn towards a cob castle that does not quite exist yet. MIND: crouching in the underbrush, i believe.

17. Been in love before? love... love is not acne. love is not casual questions and deep answers. love is not seeing things that aren't there. i think there is a very fine line between love and insanity. love is insanity. i've been in love.

 18. Been to Europe? Europe. she's been to europe, so has she, and he's going eventually. europe is only postcards to me, leaning Eiffel towers and subways and things called lifts and trolleys. Europe is ancient. I am new.

19. Been toilet-papering? not unless you mean in the bathroom... heh heh heh... POTTY HUMOR!!! YEAH!!!

 20. Been toilet-papered? NOT UNLESS YOU MEAN IN THE BATHROOM!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

 21. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? love doesn't make me cry. love makes me catch my breath, makes it hard for me to stand still, live in one place. love makes me write poems about loneliness. loneliness makes me cry, makes me cry, makes me stay up all night writing nonsense, makes me write about love, make me cry, makes me.

 22. Been in a car crash? er... no. i'm lucky. but i've had really morbid yet somehow cheerful daydreams about being in one. what would i do if i was killed? paralyzed? had to deal with pain? yet somehow I never thought about what if i were brain damaged. what would i do if i couldn't think. what would you do if you couldn't think because you were reading one girls late night ramblings?

 23. Croutons or Bacon Bits? real bits of spiced bread vs fake salty stale nothings? um... let me think about this one...

 24. 2 doors or 4 (on a car)? if it drives...ya know, i'm not picky <----- *coughLOLcough* ah, you know roya, I think it's talking about those fancy li'l cars that are so small they only have two doors... as opposed to the minivan type... not the wreck... heeheehee...

damn this thing's long...

 25. Coffee or Ice Cream? coffee ice cream, combine the two, never make a choice if you can avoid it. Choices are bad, choices are evil, choices have a winner and a looser. to make everything fair you must choose both. you must have no preference. sacrifice. virgins. heh heh heh. evil metamorphosis.

 26. Blanket or Stuffed Animal: i have a quilt my aunt made for me when i was born. if i curl up as small as I can i still fit under it. it has a shooting star on it. i always lay it so the star is in the same corner. I have a throw with dragons on it, in green and white. one side the dragons are green, the other side the background is. it has a fringe that tickles my chin. i have a comforter that keeps me warm in novembrr and decembrrr. it used to be at my grandmas house in the 'white room'. that was the room i always wanted to sleep in. it had a music box with a bird that played 'oh what a beautiful morning.' when she died, I got the furniture from the white room. the music box broke.

 27. Dumper or Dumpee? dumpster. newborn baby dumped in a dumpster. i read about that once. I read about dumping a person long before i had a person to dump. dump like a backpack full of textbooks on june 10th. molding. free.

 28. Salad Dressing: are salads naked? i didn't realize.

 29. Color of socks: i wore one bright green sock and one neon orange. he said i probably had another pair like them somewhere. i wore those socks until they were to small for my spirit. then i made a daisy chain and a notebook.

 30. lucky Number: 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10. all because by computer won't write exponents. that's a google by the way. i'd do a googleplex, except that's a google to the hundredth power. Not good to type out.

 31. Place to be kissed: neck. little breathy bites. tingles down my spine. fingers, hands. fingers and mouths go well together. mouth. lips. tongue. teeth. breath. eyes.

 32. Movie: moving picture. memory on a screen. gilded over reality, spread out to millions. worn thin? yes. humor? yes. community? yes. hot people? yes. fencing, fighting, true love, strong hate, harsh revenge, a few giants, lots of bad men, lots of good men, five or six beautiful women, beasties monstrous and gentle, some swell escapes and captures, death lies truth miracles and a little sex? yes. "the princess bride." thank you very much.

 34. Favorite Holiday: Passover. there's so much tradition behind it. not just in the religious and cultural sense, but in the family sense too. we sing the same songs, tell the same jokes. every year I take a sip more wine.

 36. Day of the Week: i live in the moment. right now i love mondays at 4:18 am. superb.

 40. Restaurant: i like restaurants that don't have flies. i like restaurants where the waiter makes sure you are ordering what you want. i like restaurants where the spices are perfect and the sauces ooze. i like restaurants that don't go out of business.

 41. Flower: those little white ones that have lots of small blossoms in a round shape and look like weeds. when i was little my best friend and i would go on walks and pick them. we called them moonflowers. some of them are purple.

42. Least Favorite Thing: weak minded people. no, people i know are strong minded but who act weak minded and do things i know they know are not smart. people who hurt them selves. i mean not just cut/burn, but hurt themselves. deeply. and i can't help.

 43. Sport to Watch: amateur soccer is good, i don't know why, as is amateur basketball. professional baseball is good because my dad has time to explain things to me. but, Novel Writing as a sport just rocks my world.

44. Favorite Fast Food Restaurant: egads. that's like asking which is my favorite, the democrat party or the republican party.

 45. When was your last hospital visit? the scariest part was lying on the cart. (i try not to rhyme most of the time.) once he actually started cutting into my cheek in search of the cist it was easy, and quite interesting. in the picture i still had braces and short hair, so i was eleven. that is how I tell my age, by my hair length.

 46. Favorite drink? water, on a hot day when you're very very thirsty. delicious.

47. What color is your bedroom's carpet? a mottled white/grey/brown. it hides everything that falls onto it, except chalk, which it absorbs.

48. How many times did you fail your Permit and/or  Drivers License: i failed the test for my permit once because... well, that doesn't matter. i don't understand the DMV. no one who's there wants to be there. The babies cry, and so do the older ones except they've learned that it's stupid to cry about something they can't change.

 49. What do you think of Ouija boards? i think of dark, little light, fingers twitching. subconciouses. Eyes grasping at light. fingers moving, little boards moving. i think of missing pieces, of half truths, of open minds. i think of him. i haven't thought of him in a long time.

50. Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs?
     I want to buy a house with you.
     I want to argue over city, space, design
     In the evenings, after the heat is gone
     but before the sun starts to set
     I want to bicycle downtown with you
     go to used bookstores, local bands playing
     loose track of time and find our way
     home in the dark.
     I want to spontaneously adopt a stray cat.

     I want to laugh with you
     before I get in bed at night and
     when I wake up.

     I want to loose track of who's turn
     it is to do the dishes
     and wash and rinse side by side
     and argue strange logic
     and sing rounds.

     I want you to laugh at how I brush
     my teeth
     I want to tease you about how
     you yawn

     I want to bring you a piece of writing
     and watch you read it
     watch you get up to get a pencil
     watch you mark it, watch your hands
     when you gesture intensely, explaining

     I want you to make me tea at night
     without asking

     I want you to come to me first
     shooting out excitement
     when you meet the one of your dreams.

 51. Who is the last person that you got mail from before this one? i guess scytrin... but i've been talking on IRC all night. i need to go to bed soon, before my parents wake up... anyway, i asked everyone to email me, but only JP and rick did, and rick's didn't have anything in it! but jp wrote me a poem. So everything's all right. :)

52. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? i have been caught, convicted, imprisoned and hung. the woman you are now talking to was dead 400 years ago. i have been searching for a body to possess. This one suits me perfectly. she is young, pretty, and well liked. no one will believe i am here.

53. Which single store would you choose to Max your  credit card? if i had a credit card... if i were to max it... i would go to borders and i would buy all their blank books. i would take them home and just let them sit and gather dust. every once in a while i would pick one up and finger the pages, open the cover a few times. I would start a scrapbook or two... and i would never have to wait to buy and get used to a diary.

54. What do you do most often when you are bored? i get creative when i'm bored. i've drawn doodlegators, woven hearts into cloth, written songs, choreographed whole shows in my mind. i've had ideas that blossom into stories and plays and futures. i've made friendships. i've written poems. essays. i've blown my own mind.

55. What words or phrases do you overuse? words like feel, try... half assed words that are never offensive, never put someone on the defensive. i say cool, like, totally too often. cool seems to describe a lot of things to me that no other word does.

56. Friend who lives farthest away: he lives across the country, over the northern border. I can't visualize him anymore, maybe he only existed in pictures in the first place. he told me he would talk with me and then disappeared. gone. his last e-mail had nothing to reply to.

 57. Most annoying thing: to quote Enigma, "Mesa Jar-Jar Binks, you no like mesa?" and "Mm-bob, ba ba doowop"

58. Best thing in the world: staying up all night. feeling so calm and awake from the cold at 6 am. Watching the sunrise, knowing that when you go back to the computer he'll be there, smiling as contentedly as you are. knowing the night that was so hyper and so long and so short is over. remembering when you got his joke and picked it up and repeated it over and over and faster and faster until you both collapsed into giggles. Knowing he laughed at your jokes. knowing if you were together, he'd hug you.

 59. Bedtime: heh. on saturday night i went to bed after midnight. on sunday i went to bed on monday.

er... okay, so it's a couple weeks later now... big deal...

60. Wake-Up: the longer i stay in bed, the farther away the dreams are. the later i stay up, the fewer of them there are. sometimes i think i hate waking up, being homesick all over again. in the dream I could fly... in my bed i'm warm, but the blankets are heavy.

 61. Who will respond to this fastest? i will respond to this fastest, i will click the reply button and write "LOL!!!" at the bottom because i never do that, and everything should be experienced once. maybe in a past life i was bill gates and i started nasty forwards and tacked oneliners on the bottom. but that's impossible, because then my karma would prompt me to be hitler in this lifetime.

62. Who is the person you sent this to that is least  likely to respond? i send this to myself, i will not respond. i will take no notice of what i was thinking last week. i will paste it into a document for my mother to read if she ever decides i'm not learning anything. i will forget all i learned from it.

 63. Did you pick your nose today? no. if i had, i'd pick one that's thinner, and resistant to pimples and sunburn.

 64. What super power would you have if you could? i would write letters, 10 page letters and e-mails and people would read them over and over again, and reply, and i would save their letters because I could see their thoughts as they were writing them. i would send e-mails that would get forwarded a million times and come back to me like a lonely dog. my name would be changed, al gore would take the credit, but my words would come around like a boomerang and land at my feet with peoples souls collected in them. i would be a messiah. i would be a martyr. i would lift up my head. i would see the sun rise.