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Article:Ramblings on a Sunday afternoon
Writer: Jamie Traumaboy
Date Posted: 09/12/2001

Aaah…The onset of summer, and its more temperate climate always has an interesting effect on us as people. I don't know, maybe the increase in sun boils our blood, maybe it's the increase in drinking brought about by the warmth, maybe (no, more than likely) it's the decrease in the amount of clothes worn by the ladies in an attempt to combat overheating. I don't know. But whatever it is, summer turns many a mind, male and female, to thoughts of romance. Well, maybe not romance exactly, allow me to rephrase it: summer basically makes us even hornier than we are the rest of the year round. Are you with me boys? I know you are! Ladies? That's it ladies, throw your hands up at me! Yes yes y'all, I can feel the pheromones wafting through the screen as you read this! Yeah! Okay, stop wafting now please! Seriously! That's enough! My eyes are starting to sting! I can't type! I can't see! You bastards! Okay, that's better. Now, Summer Lovin', eh? That's what we're here to discuss right? Well.. Emm.. In a way, yes. And in a way, no. It's more a sort of general column about lovin' I'm getting to here, a non-seasonally specific type if you will. But hey, that all made for a good build up right? (Note to any budding columnists out there: reel 'em in slowly by implying you're gonna write about shagging - it always works - and then, when the moment comes, let them down swiftly and painfully. Don't believe me? Still reading? Then I guess it worked didn't it. Ha.)

See, yesterday afternoon, I sat with my friends and watched a guy who I've known since I was six have his wedding photos taken on the Millennium Plaza (aka “Das Boot”) on the Quay. His best man was a guy who's been one of my best mates for the past 11 or 12 years. And it made me think about the amount of couples I know. I know lots of couples. Everyone seems to be half of a couple apart from me (and before you jump to conclusions: no folks, I ain't complaining about being single.) And what's weird is, a lot of these couples are very soon gonna be doing what my friend Roy is doing today. One friend in particular actually asked me, around my birthday this year, if I'd be his best man when he got married. I was hammered. I was flattered. I said yes. I then realised I was gonna have to shell out for the stag night. And probably make a speech of some sort too. So I thought about it, realised they're not getting married for a couple years, (leaving me plenty of time to prepare for the shock of watching a man who in his teens was quite the slapper finally tie the knot to the girl he'd lusted after for 3 years. As well as the accompanying financial holocaust and oratory abashment), and said yes once again. Hey, everybody seems to be doing it any way. It's a sign, methinks, that somebody somewhere is throwing all these weddings my way as a way of saying “Look kid, people your age, people you've known most of your life, are getting married - they are grown ups! Therefore, you, by proxy -being their age as well -are a grown up too! Now fucking GROW UP!” And THAT my friends is the bone of contention here. (Note number two: use the point you eased into after your initial opening point to ease into another, completely different, completely unconnected point! It's called “rambling aimlessly”, and if you wan to be a columnist, you will LEARN IT NOW!) (Also: At this point, stop for a cigarette, unless you're straight edge, in which case STOP, full stop. See my last column, and replace the word “punk” with “sXe”, and never ever write a column again)

If you're involved in this little underground culture of ours, you realise how far removed you can be from “real life” at times like this. My friends don't think it's weird that they're all getting married, but I do. My friends don't think it's weird that they're now “grown up enough” to start families of their own, but I do. Don't get me wrong, I don't think they're stupid to get married or anything, far from it, I just now, watching it all, realise that it makes me feel weird. The same way that knowing when my parents were my age, they had me, made me feel old when I turned 24 earlier this year. I guess in my head from the time I was little I always had time mapped out in my head by what age I was in relation to people around me who were older, and when I was little 24 seemed like old age. Like an age to have settled down by. Which a lot of friends my age are doing. Me? I'm not in any hurry. I've had my head in the little Cloud Nine of the hardcore scene for so long that growing up at the same rate as every one down on Planet Normal has never really be an option. I never really realised that until today you know. Maybe I'm not as old as I thought I'd be by now after all. That's always nice to know.

ENDNOTES:

  • 1) If you read Cormy's column about teen drama shows, you'll know about my obsession with “MY SO CALLED LIFE”. I make no secret of it. I too am a teen drama junkie. “Dawson's Creek”, ”Madison”, “Party of Five”, “Sweet Valley High”.. I've seen 'em all. “Popular” is my current favourite (though technically that's a “comic drama” rather than a straight up adolescent whinge fest a la Das Creek). However “MY SO CALLED LIFE” is the all time greatest (with “Degrassi Junior High” pulling into a close second place). It ruined my life as mornings I was supposed to be in college were taken up idling on my couch in front of reruns on C4. Interactive television? You bet your tightly clenched young punk ass. I'd lie there cursing at Jordan Catalano for being such a dick, crying along with poor Ricky (tv's best token gay character EVER), and trying to work out who I loved more - the sleazy ball of punk rock self destruction that was Rae Ann, or the shy and sensitive Angela. I still can't decide. Probably Rae Ann cos of her rendition of “I wanna be sedated”, but (as we all know) Claire Danes is an uberfox of the highest order. Cancelling that show was the end of my little world. This is where you come in: I had the whole series on video but gave it to an evil ex-girlfriend who has it to this day, and has probably taped over it. SO if ANYONE knows where I can get videos of “MSCL”, or has some and can copy me them, fire me over an e-mail. You'll have made a friend for life.
  • 2) Other current obsessions of mine incidentally: 80s Teen films, Janeane Garafolo / Allyson Hannigan / Thora Birch (the holy trinity), “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, learning to cook properly (send me veggie recipes! Especially for chilli!), the films of Kevin Smith, “Reality Bites”, Videos/Films about punk/HC, Mike Patton, Roxy Music, 80s hardcore, CrimethInc., Richard Brautigan , “Monkey” (as in “Monkey Magic” again.. I need videos!), working out what famous people my friends look like, disposable cameras, Doris 'zine, text messages, inserting the phrase “sexy results” into conversations whenever possible, Irn Bru / Dr Pepper, staying off the cigarettes and getting rid of my beer gut. Oh yeah, I missed Warzone after all, which sucks. But then again, I did get to see DS13 and ETA four nights in a row the month before last, and you didn't.
  • 3) This column was put together while I was heavily medicated against a chest infection so my apologies if it seems more rambling than usual. But don't expect the next one to be any more coherent.
  • PLUGS FOR FRIENDS: my bud Clodagh is involved in a club called “Ground Zero”, playing everything from meek indie rock to raging hardcore. When in Dublin be sure to check it out on Thursday nights in Parnell Mooney's. I'll see you there. She's also got issue 3 of the mighty “Ideas is Matches” out now. Similarly, my homie Etain has a new issue of her zine “Hoyden” out too, but I'm not sure where you'd get it because I think there's only a limited amount. Merro's shop is constantly getting new stuff, so get your ass down there to support the punks (well.. Merro and me anyhow). http://culchikore.8m.com . Stress has a new 7” out now on Protest/SLTA which reminds me of the RESTARTS a little. Dagda have their album finished and it will kill you. And I'm going to be singing on it too. OUTCOLD & HARUM SCARUM are both touring Ireland in October, I'll hopefully be tagging along with them, and so please come support these amazing bands (You can mail me for info about them)
    As always I'm at thattraumaboykid@hotmail.com don't abuse it fukkers.
    Play fast or Die.
    Jamie