DARKNESS IN ALL ITS NUDITY
Todd Ivey
It was a simple ring...not much...silver with aa few xxxx and ooos..but it was
the last item that I had from the Chelsea Hotel! And the thing is i hadn't evn
really decided to give it to Stella McCartney when I first had Left LA County
jail... It was only after Hispanic Man decided he didn't want to buy it. and
I was like well I really dont want it anymore. not becuase I grown weary of
but I rather because I knew the oh places you'll go hd to keep on going. So
attaching the ring I thought of as an engagement ring to a letter I written
on the inside of La County Jail about "The Eternity Syndicate " The
Black Superman saga I was so gungho describing to Sofia Copolla
about...I delivered both things to Stella's store in Beverly Hills....Not Far
From Cedar Sinai Medical....And I'm only mentioning it now becsuase well I'm
kinda pissed that sTella's pregnant probbably has a child and well she needs
to give the ring to Kurt and Courtney's daughter Frances Bean...i wanna go to
harvard WHERE MY COUSINS CHANDRA AND ALLEGRA WENT.......she and Natalie Portman
should give the ring to Frances Bean...yeah yeah you wanted a revolution Pauly
...Bruccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccce Willis!
Denzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzel
Washington!
Darkness as theme music to a major motion picture ...
You're proably wondering how I got all over to FRances Bean ... truth be told
is while I had first gone down to L.A. in pursuit of That NoTORIous Spelling
Chick ...AGAIN...one of the things that I had been working on was "Those
Darn Kidz" ...A Sid & Marty Krofft revival kid show to be aired on
ABC on Sundays at 8 that I had first mentioned to Peter Buck of R.E.M...the
last night I was hanging in Seattle...and met him at Cha Cha's.. Peter menioned
how he and his friends used to go to the Ole Krofft Superstar Theme Park in
Atlanta...and hung out there strung out on acid...Well anyway I worked on the
pilot script relentlessly day after day while in L.A staying in a shelter..except
I only had the final piece of the puzzle come together when I sang the theme
song im King County Jail..
Those Darn Kidz
We're crazy and we're cool
Pretty punkrock
And we never go to school
Living in Harmony
Having Fun is the key
Loved cuz we're good
OOps there goes the neighborhood
The gang's all here
The beginning is near
Sister Grimm's a bitch
The situation is clear
We're jammin real hard
Her band has monster guitars
And hey what do you know
Frances Bean's in the show
Those Darn Kidz
We're crazy and we're cool
Real punkrock
And we never go to school
Those Darn Kidz
Darkness VS Darkness
But what I find so shall we say gonzo in Hunter Thompson's behalf is that while
I was putting together the idea of how to out scoobydoo H.R. Pufnstuff or Sigmund
& The Seamonster with Kurt's daughter is that I was scaring myself at the
plain truth about his final night or nights in Seattle . That in alll of the
fingerpointing about who possibly could have killed him none of the fingers
have been pointed at David Geffen himself. to my knowledge that is... Having
read some of the things that The Aviatior Howard Hughes had done ...Matter of
fact I wanted to nuke Switzerland becuase of Sandra Deceivechef...its no mystery
machine at the amount of silence some one like David could buy specially now
that he's teamed up with Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberger in Dreamworks.....The
whole situation smells like mean spirit..not teen spirit..one gigantic coverup...Which
is not what I prefer to say..specially when I'm sure such observations could
possibly make me persona non grata with Courtney....and probably Frances Bean
too...
Darkness In A Little Major Minor
Though its as I told Douglas Brinkley...editor of Hunter's letters and The Man
At The Theodore Roosevelt Center at Tulane University in New Orleans...I look
like a DC/VertigoMarvel Epic character these days. Matter of fact someone called
me Dr. Death ....Hey I've been told that Bruce Lee was The antichrist. ...I
don't know I seem to be wearing the appropriate costume ..the black denim Lost
Boys vest with Ghost Rider On The back..
The vest over a black Diesel jacket with John Fluevvog boots with angel soles..and
of course the no sun penetration shades of a Daywalker...Todd Ivey aka Jehovah
God...which is exactly the state of mind that I found myself in in California...I
figured it would make sense that if God let his son sufffer for mankind that
it would only be logical that Jah would go one "better" and return
to Earth as an imperfect black man... ME...Yeah Yeah I knoow years of being
brought up as a Jehovah's Witness has rendered me your basic insane writer creater
destroyer...looking to build an empire..though it only expands on paper...So
it only makes sense if I'm Jehovah God ..I'd have Jesus return to Earth...(specially
since I would be making The Ultimate Superman Saga that would run only in New
York at the Marilyn Monroe theater) and he could only be the child of the Virgin
Mary ..the Girl Goddess #9...Natalie Portman...Something I already explored
in Goo Goo Muck # Sscore At The Chelsea...eight years ago.. SORRY I AIN'T POSTIN
IT IF YOU GOT IT GOOD IF NOT YOUR THE FUCCK OUTTA LUCK MATTER OF FACT THAT'S
ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I HAVE TO SEE HOLMSTROM IN NEW YORK ..BESIDES GETING
PLASTERED WITH HIM I NEED MY COLLECTED GOO GOO MUCK TO SEND TO HARVARD BECAUSE
I LOST THE MASTER COPY WHILE I CREATED SUPER CHARGER HEAVEN ONE SUNDAY HERE
IN OLYMPIA...
Darkness served with a hint of sophistication
Another aspect of this oddyssey is the book "Islandia" written by
Austin Tappan Wright, he himself being he himself being a Harvard graduate...what
little I read of the book after handing over $25 at Orca Books in Olympia before
it was stolen in Malibu was that it was about a young man who about become a
diplomat to Islandia a country off of Antartica...and the natives has a special
look being born of a race that didn't mingle much with the rest of mankind...It
didn't mean much to me then but when I realized I was walking around with Islandia
in my duffle bag in Malibu...Had The touch of Being God it all started to make
sense ...that I would start Islanida there in of all places...I thought of the
structure and thought it should be structured by Frank Gehry .. the architect
who designed the Experience Music Project and the Guggenheim in Barcelona among
other buildings ...and then of course having the Disney Imagineering Unit under
my command after several attempts to be invited to coroporate dine would be
sweet revenge especially after my Major Stuff gothic biodomes in each Disney
Theme Park failed to attract the right attention . Onward to Disneyland Amazon!
Wait so yeah Islandia I felt that it would be a viable concept ...and all my
wives would be all the major Hollywood Actresses and Rockers like Teri Hatcher,
Courtney, Gwen Stefani, Julia Roberts, Roseanne Arquette, Courtney Cox Arquette,
Catherine Zeta Jones,Jennifer Garner, Mary Kate and Ashley Olson, Meg White,
Kelli Garner, Jeniffer Conelly. Barbra Bush aka Spicy...Selma Hayeck, Penelope
Cruz, Kim Gordon, Britnany Murphy, Sofia Coppola, Uma Thurman , Tyra Banks,
Britney Spears, Rosario Dawson , Michelle Tractenburg, ( Michelle I have a movie
idea for you entitled " Strawberry Diesel Love Junk Experienced By Me In
The Magic Mountians. " You would be this junkie from Cal Arts who lives
in the amusement park Magic Mountain all alone...Its real Jim Thompson shit...co
starring John Cusack with a script by Francesca Lia Block and directed by Ridley
Scott since you are my Ice Princess) Liv Tyler, Lindsay Lohan , Juliette Lewis,
Karen O, Darkness of Volume, Vivenne Westwood, Katie Holmes, Rene Zellwegger,
Shirley Manson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Pamela Anderson ( who I met near the Malibu
Kitchen) PARKER POSEY..GROWWWWWWWWWWL. ..DAMN DID YOU MAKE ME CUM CUM CUM CUM
CUM WHEN I THOUGHT OF US GETTING TOGETHER AS KIDDDIE YUMYUMSSS...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIN
CITY SEQUEL....NoTORIous, Tiffani Thissen ( who I met at the Levis 's store
just days before NoTORIous's wedding and sed " I have Nicole Kidman to
keep me warm at nights ")Nicole Kidman ( who I actually met and invited
to what would have been my Halloween birthday party at Chateau Marmot execpt
I returned to LA County Jail for writing Melissa Gilbert For President 2004
Paris Hilton V.P. in the magic circle near city hall in 90210) ....and even
some surfer girls of course...For instance things were getting so weird on the
beach in Malibu that at one point I sat down next to this Lone girl ( probably
from Pepperdine or UCLA) on the sand as we stared out into the ocean and I stared
at the waters telling her things that would happen like Those Darn Kidz getting
its own Narnia studio in Central Park!!!!!!and I gave her a new name "You're
Lady Nude and our son's name will be Harvard" amd I'm sorry it wasn't like
she was ignoring me or humoring me but actually believing in the whole experience..Though
of course is that possible...Okay well Rachel Abramowitz from the LA. Times
told me one time she wanted to have a child with me but she sed " Todd
There's things you have to do first"... Is this one of them Rachel....Yeah
true craziness...I felt that either I would impregant them thru the natural
process or do the modern science fetiltiy clinic deal ..I forget the exact name
of the place but I was reading about it in Time Magazine and it happened tp
be in L.A...And naturally I thought everything was falling into place because
we not only would do that but we'd get the money from the World Bank to finance
the project. Now wow I'm thinking something totally different . If I make Stella
give the ring to Frances Bean does this mean she'lly totally diss my movie idea
with Avril Lavigne entitled " Good Day Sunshine" A 3-D Banana Splits
film using the songs of the Beatles....Well I'm sure Paul, Ringo and Yoko Ono
have more to say about that but damn...word gets around...even if I don't get
there numbers ..I'm not to sure about that. Great.I just have to realize I can't
make evreyone happy and yeah Stella I do love you...And I take back that twisted
bullshit I posted on the PUNK website...I was just pissed and extremely lonely...
Darkness explained by light
Now the problem was how to get the World Bank to finance the project...And that's
when I remembered the motion picture idea "Levitcius Weirdo" The story
of a mummy from New Orleans who leaves to come to New York to live in a phonebooth
in Brooklyn and work at Coney Island while working one becoming a superhero
...That's just the basics but there's a lot more involved . But after working
on the script at the Malibu Library for a while I felt faxxing the World Bank
( making myself the owner along with Norma Jean and Arnold Schwarzenegger Bank
President) would make Islandia a reality without it completed because I conjured
up Rory Kennedy ..who works on documentaries...capturing on film our reality
of living in Frank Gehry's designed heaven on earth...Now where do I mention
that Diane's daughter Candra came over around eight with her children Austin
and Hazel and after I mentioned how I sent Marilyn Monroe amd Tupac Shakur to
hell for a while to burn I asked her what would she do if I kissed her right
then and there..Ya know Desperate Housewives .aoh yeah Desperate House since
I thought I was The Fearless Leader I was gonna cancel the show this season
to make it a cult classic ..but Michael Eisner is gonna probably bleed it til
its stupid ...Hey Michael take a risk and can it...Hazel hope you love your
Disney Princess chair distributed by Home Depot your Grandma gave you....and
yeah you can be in an episode of "Those Darn Kidz" even though you
didn't speak to me...lick lick lick lick lick lick ...bring back The Tick....Maybe
Boy George can autograph it..."Maybe we can work it out"- Tears For
Fear
http://www.disneyprincess.com
http://www.disneylatino.com
That Family Guy's smear on homeless people and libraries wasn't funny at all...who can I take itout on. Oh yeah Tom you still can kiss my black ass and cruise while you do it...I am The Superman With The Top Gun Whose A Legend And Will Have A Kingdom Of Heaven On Earth..And Hey Madonna did you call your company Maverick after Tom's charcater in the film hoping to catch him but you failed?...THE RAMONES WE"REA HAPPY FAMILY MEET MOMMY AND DADDY....I told my Dad if I die bury me in L.A. Malibu BOO! Is that spooky?. .Oh yeah Candra told this sonic producer ain't no loser that she would smack my face if I tried to kiss her..Yes Tom your photos and films irritate me...But I'm still casting you as The Hercules/Superman in "The Eternity Synidcate"..Weird New Jersey...I"M IN A TIME ZONE >>I"M IN A TIME ZONE >>I"M INA TIME ZONE...Would I lie to you. Sonic producer ain't no loser....Holy shit I'[m out of cigarettes again ...this huge Howard Hughes huge as usual....Its too bad I didn't meet Chuck's dads...Chuck Swaim who is he? Chuck Swaim Who is he? Chuck Swaim who is he?
Yeah I was in the zone too bad .
None of it was real ..just an illumination of my mind. But how and why did I
arrive at these conclusions in the first place. Was it because as an African
American male I had seen Hollywood talk about changing but hadn't seen much
of that change while growing up...Hadn't seen a Afrcian American Male in charge
of a major studio greenlighting films...Oprah whadafuck?!?...and of course loving
and touching as many women in Hollywood like Howard Hughes my boyhood idol...Just
hasn't happened at all... Could it be becuase as African Americans we're too
tied to The Church...But then wait a second remember I thought I am Jehovah
God and since God is about eliminating The Devil Rejects namely Satan Lucifer,
isn't this a good thing. I'm not to sure anymore...
Darkness As axcess to Heaven
Soo right now I have to start again....mommy mommy mommy since its mothers's
day maybe Riz Rollins will out gun Henry 's black flag since Brian isnt at 107.7
Ressurection The End anymore and mention this babble on KEXP ...Henry you know
you derserved that whack...after that University of Washington ..."Talk
To that Guy"...Man of Steel Reserve...Houston do we have a problem?...What
Am I TarZen..And I need Jane's Baby Prostitute Blonde body ...That's Atomic..And
did I tell you about how years and years ago I asked Chris Cornell of Soundgarden
now of AudioSlave...for a quarter near Minnie's...and he didn't give it to me
but mentioned something about "Hey didn't I see you driving a Porsche ",,,No
Tim It Ain't Jive Time...Mike Nipper at The Stranger actually agreed with me
about the Geffen thing..Our House In The Middle Of The Street...Naaaah Joy Divison
estate in Malibu..Why do I think the whole population should agree wit the world
savior...It isn't all about sex sex sex you know Lucy Ireland...What are you
expecting me to meet up with Rickie back in L.A. I'm planning on doing a piece
on Trixie Garcia for Flashart with Kate Shanely's help which is why I'm bugging
Will Dana at Rolling Stone...Mark Binelli did a piece on the CChildren of Rock....Like
with Kelly Osbourne who I want to be in my new cosmic synchronicity....the thrash
black metal band Themselves, with John Frusanti, J of White Zombie and Ryoko
Hirosue ..but hey maybe Natalie won't mind having Jesus after all...I mean I
didn't say Jesus had to be a boy...or did I? cue the diabolical laughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy shit Holy shit Holy Shit Holy Shit I forgot Cornel West is at Harvard in African American studies and I totally met him at this book store in San Francisco when I was roadying with Sage ..and I went up to him and sed ...what did I tell you Cornell..that I was gonna put together abook that rocked out with me wearing my leather vest that Dick Nystrom took a photo of ...Demon Steel...But wait I'm God...And you sed you look like you'll do just that...But hey man I'm still alive! Holy shit! Man I'll make a deal with you if you get me into Harvard I'll put you in "The Eternity Syndicate" since you were in "The Matrix" and I have cast ...okay Black Sabbath ...oh shit the Ozfest I might go this year...concentrate Todd...I have already cast Keanu Reeves as Adolf Hitler...and we gotta stop that other Superman movie being filmed with Brandon's dumbass...because I was planning on suing AOL Time Warner about that Jude Law email fraud "Closer" aperkkins26@aol.com posing as Tori bullshit....and yeah I had pnemonia and was possibly dying and my parents asked me what I wanted and I sed " Superman" amd my Dad Edgar Ivey Junior got me ' The Making Of Superman" ....And did I tell you its gonna be a crossover with Marvel....shit man and you know what Bill Gates sed that someday a computer would one day be better then a human and that's just plan fuckin evil man...Totally off...And Holy shit man what up with August....I'm trying to concentrate but Chuck is showing me his starring role in his movie " The Squeegee Murders" he'll be a soldier with Bruce Willis as Sgt Rock...And you know I just thought Bruce why are you killing yourself in all your movies...you know Armageddon , Hart's War and then Sin City....well I have you going on that planned mission to Mars with Tom Hanks , Sigourney Weaver, Kevin Bacon and Bill Paxton I don't want you to die....I want you to succeed...And yeah Cornell since Ben Aflleck went to Harvard and has Jennifer..oh man whatever ..We gotta film at the goawddamn place ..."The Living Dead Girl" short starring ..oh fuck I can't think ...Goldie Hawn is gonna be 60 like my dear ole always playin me dear ole dad...And I'm sick of people telling to be nice when I haven't fucked a chick in years..."Let's start a war"-Fear...No Fear...No Doubt.....And oh fuck man you know that shit about Adolf Hitler why didn't the fuckin Nazi's invade Switzerland...Neutral country..That's playing their game..and He was supposed to be creating the master race...And they have all the money..The Color Of Green...Tom wasn't that your movie with Paul...that's bullshit...It's been a lie...I'm a journalist people....That's another reason why Zurich should be nuked! I gotta eat...So what if they make choclate Chuck..we can have the gawdamn Wille Wonka factory in London..."Baby bought a brandnew Cadillac"- The Clash ...And here and now I promote myself as the head of the Hell's Angels, Sonny...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!