This is a song I wrote called "Doesn't matter"
Come out of your hiding place
and run away with me
run amongest the moss and the mud
maybe we'll never come back
kiss your friends goodbye, you're everything I need
I see the hope and love in your smile
I feel your warmth in your embrace...
this world doesn't accept me as yours
or you as mine
Doesn't matter anyways
they don't really know
what you've done for me
close your eyes, don't turn your head
People are going to tell you lies
Don't listen....
I can't help but cry...
Run away with me tonight
and don't forget to turn off your lights
I feel so guiltless...
You are my soul, you have my heart
let's live out our dreams
without a thought, without a care of who says it's wrong
Doesn't matter anyways
they don't really know
what you've done for me
close your eyes, don't turn your head
People are going to tell you lies
Don't listen....
I can't help but cry...
I love you
I can't see why this has to be wrong
So I tune him out, I tune her out
all I need is to know you're breathing
I could look into your eyes forever
Don't you ever wonder how I feel
because you already know
And how do you do it?
the way you love me so
how do you do it?
I'll never let you go...
This is a story I wrote when I was in a weird mood.
At first I didn't even want a boyfriend, I had given up hope. Independence was so much easier. In fact, I had decided I didn't need to have someone to lean on anymore. It all changed when he started talking to me. I thought he was the weirdest person, I was actually scared of him. Over the spring break we talked endlessly. There were times when the world would just stop when I was with him. He came over one night and we just held each other and looked into each others eyes while watching some silly movie. Thought it wasn't much, it was everything that a broken down person like me needed. He called me the minute he got home telling me how much he wanted just to hold me again. I was unsure or myself. Was this just a temporary escape from my painful past? I didn't know that a person like me could be so happy. I knew that I had to be sure, so I invited him over again. It was that night that I kissed him. Something I had felt compelled to do, everything part of my body ached to be with him for the rest of my life. Leaving him that night tore me in two but it was okay. That night he became mine and I became his. I'd go to school everyday in a good mood because I was going to see him. I missed him when we weren't together. Better than just having a boyfriend, I had a best friend. I told him things I couldn't tell anyone. We would stay up until 3 in the morning at times talking about how stupid our ex's were or how many kids we wanted to have. He did such stupid funny things, like throw stuff at me, or tease me when I was in a bad mood. He always seemed to know how to make me smile. We had our share of problems though...I felt that he was drifting and a mutual friend told me that he was in love with another girl. It broke my heart to face the music. But it was over. I had to see him the next day too and there was no way out of it! He knew me so well that he knew I had started having feelings for his friend. He acted happy about it and as if he wanted to help me. He flirtatiously tried to talk me into telling the guy that I had a crush on him. I couldn't bring myself to do it, so he did the job for me. The next day we went to a concert that I had been dying to go to. Excitement aside, I was completely nervous about seeing him. It's hard to just start pretending that the past didn't happen. And it was. Being with someone you love but not receiving their love is the most painful feeling in the world. That day I realized how silly I was for liking another guy. You can only truly love one person in your entire life. I have been in love since April 23rd 2000 and will stay in love until the day I die, or the day that God decides that I'm meant to be with somebody else. Something inside of me broke that day and told me to keep on loving him even if we weren't together anymore. The very thought of him with another girl gave me the chills. A week of not being with him felt like an eternity. I would call him occasionally and he was cold. It was obvious that he didn't want to talk to me. But one day everything just seemed to click. We talked until around 3 in the morning again and then we talked that entire day and he playfully forced me to ask him out. And it all came together like magic.
This is a song I wrote called...Technical Difficulties
Everytime I call you, you never seem to care
But when I ask you if you're alright
You say nothing is bad and that you're happy with your life
So why does this feel so wrong?
I think there's some malfunction...technical difficulties...
This is just the way that things have gotta be
Nothing's getting through now
You tell me I've made an error and that you're just doing fine
I know you don't love me anymore
Why don't you tell me that I'm wasting my time
I loved the way you used to be my hero
I loved the way you held me tight
I only wish things could be how they were when this started
You are the only one I love
I used to be such a love fool.....
Why? Why are you fading into black?
A jaded memory of the guy who didn't lack
in the skills to make me smile, I think it's over
But I won't let you go.
yeah this is untitled
I wanted so badly to be rid of the jerk that he had became
I prayed each night for the strength to let him go
But I saw something in his eyes, something holding me back
push all confusion aside ... stop living in sin.
he was the only person i could see
said good-bye to the others, all i needed was him
till i realized it wasn't mutual anymore
my heart separated from my soul
I called upon my savior to give me the answers
I pleaded with Him to love me as His child
Wait, He asked me to wait for His will to be done
what secrets are to be revealed?
We ended it all...it's over
I got stupid over you, then stupid over another
Am I doomed to be alone forever?
I miss you...but I know you don't feel the same
It used to be I couldn't get enough of you
You were always at my side
it used to mean something to me, to you, our friends
they saw the blackness before i did, i must have been so blind
People told me long ago, "he's going to hurt you"
"He's going to break your heart..."
I didn't believe it for a second
Now all I do is cry
Don't mind me while my heart is torn out of my body
don't watch me die
stop pretending that we stand a chance when you know you love her
**This is a really short song** OoEnJoYoO
What's there in this world that makes you wanna leave?
You had everything that you needed, then you threw it all away
For reasons I can never understand
Sometimes I feel like I've been waiting all my life
For somebody to just love me in the way you did.
Guess we're over now...guess I'm alone again...
This is just the way it's gonna be
If I could choose to not be so dependant
Believe me I'd be over you
It's just not that easy
It's over, it's over, WHY CAN'T THINGS BE THE SAME AGAIN?
I wrote this song about my ex boyfriend. He was a sick freak...no not Denis another one.
Why am I drowning in this flood of emotions?
Yesterday I was so complete, now I'm distraught
Torn apart by three emotions
Love…
Loss…
Jealously…
I should have walked away from your touch.
I shouldn't have loved so you much
If I had never loved you, I would never felt this pain
Maybe I'm not the one for you
Maybe He put me here for someone else
Where my knight in shining armors?
He came to save me
He died for my sins
He is the love of my life
So I can live without you
I wrote this next song about the same guy, it has some bad language so be prepared.
Everyday I watch them,those good,old romantic movies that make you want to cry...
And everyday I wonder why can't I be happy like them?
I wonder why I'm not smiling and why I'm jumping from person to person
You know,my first love is right, I am an emotional amoeba...
I'm locked into a world of hate and pain and lust
taking people for granted just isn't what it used to be
Every person I've ever loved has told me that I'm too emotional
That I just let things live and I don't want to
I don't fucking want to!
I don't want to cry anymore either...all I want to do is laugh.
Everyone has a damn happy ending except me and everyone has a real problem except me
I'm so fake and blind,so what if I'm not as pretty as that girl?
So what if I don't think like that other girl and I don't feel like that other girl
And sorry that I don't fuck you like that other girl.
I'm goddamned sorry that I cry over every little thing
I probably should just take it and sit here and smile and pretend I'm happy.
I wrote to my most recent ex boyfriend and I wanted to post it. Looking back on all that I get sad but it's cool
How could I have ever lived without your love?
Should I thank fate? Thank you my savior
Unbreak this lonely heart, dry these tears of misery
Comfort the poor, the bleeding, the sick
For I am no longer alone
Every night I prayed for the one to bring me peace
Every day I wished for the one to make me laugh
You're everything and so much more. Can't you see?
These green eyes can no longer be blue
Since I've found you
Once I had a broken heart
What pain hasn't this girl seen?
Still not sure if anyone can ever heal the scars
He didn't see me at all…perhaps no one ever will
Feeling alone is nothing new, I can see the truth
Sometimes I don't love me, so how can you?
Remember the stupid things I said the idiotic things I did?
No, I never lied to you; I could never hurt you
Want to know what I did, what I said, who bled?
You know all too well, let it affect you some.
Almost got on my knees
And prayed for the Lord to take me back
Back to where I belong
Where do I belong?
Nobody loves you when you're down
And you're the best thing that ever happened to me
I can't stand to lose you now; you better get out of it soon
No promises last forever; eternity's only a dream
Search your heart, tell me if I'm there
Then answer the questions, the questions I fear.
This is an angry little song about my most recent ex. If you read this and think it's that I'm bitter...you're wrong
I thought I was in love with you, thought everything was simple
Fuck that. You didn't love me, you never did.
Thinking you could fill my head with fairy tales and lies.
Boy, you're gonna get what you deserve...
Man, you're gonna feel the weight of my stare.
Remember when you used to tell me you loved me so much it annoyed me?
It wouldn't annoy me now...
Said you still loved me and you always would
go away...leave me alone
I wish you could tell the truth and you'd come back to me again
All of our friends tell me that you're not the one for me
Inside my mind I know that I can't accept it
Waiting 'round forever for you to say...it was a mistake
Giving up, giving up just to see your face....
What can I do with me? What can I do with you?
I wish you'd tell the truth and let things be.
Back to the way it was before
Oh but you like some girl, oh well excuse me
She doesn't love you, she'll never care for you
Oh but she looks good on stage
She was your first love, like a modern day Romeo and Juliet
We were real, I did all I could for you.....
Now just look at you, alone and begging please
To force me on my knees
To get you back safe at home
Boy, you're gonna get what you deserve
Man, that sure is a price to pay
For breaking my heart, while you're on the prey.
This song is called **Frozen Strawberries** It has a lot of metaphors in it and might be a little confusing if you don't know me personally...
Your love is like frozen strawberries
you've been on the shelf for quite some time
and I just happened to be the one to pick you up and take you home
Opened you up, reveling in your splendor, took you out
Savoring, tasting, loving you for the short burst of pleasure you brought me
Funny, how short it all lasted...yet it left a mark on my soul.
Missing what I had such a short time ago...regretting taking you in too soon
Wishing I could change the past, Angry 'cause I can't have you back.
Knowing that I just had you and now you're just a faded memory.
You were so cold and frozen where I was warm
Everything was blissful, sweet and real.
Nothing lasts forever but it could have if I tried...
And when I kissed you it was sweeter than anything I had before
I wish I could have you again and I know I could just pick up another
But it wouldn't be the same I'll never get you back
But I can go on living as if things never changed
I can hold my head up high and try not to sigh
I'm gonna find you, if I hafta go through....
the gates of hell and purgatory too, I'd do anything
To be with you and I'm gonna change the things that we do
Because you can't say that it's over till you face the impossible course.
Funny, how short it lasted, yet how good it was...
Wish that I could open you up again and knowing that you're always in my heart
This song is untitled because nothing fits it. The anger I felt while writing it just streams through the words and it might make me look like a lunatic!
Taking out the soul to let in breathe
Throwing away the past. No room to grieve
Blaming it all on me and my convictions
Fuck you, you blew it and now I'm alone
Never needed you to get by anyway...
This loneliness is just a phase, it'll pass
You can't get better than this-don't kid yourself
You're pretty fucking foolish...you're pretty dumb
And I'm just pretty-looking at your pathetic life
Don't ever think that you could have me back, I'll never be that messed up again
Don't think of me while you're with another girl
Experience the bitterness, the emptiness, the hopelessness
and have you lost all hope in the other one?
All I can do now is laugh at you bitterly
It's come down to you and you're a hypocrite
Sometimes I see you standing beside yourself wearing my clothes
I just want to bring you down, you fucked up and ruined me!
Waiting around all day, all week, all month, all year
for you just to say, sorry I didn't mean it
So will I be the one to end it all on this?
Will it ever truly be over?
Not everyone experiences you the way I did
Cut off my arm, thrust a sword in my side
Then you can daydream about Miss Gorgeous
I failed to cope with this
And I put you on a pedestal...
Stupid loving you despite it all
Pretending to be over it all, pretending to be into somebody new
Can't look back into it, seeing how it all died.
One way or another, one day I'll find another
And I'll love again
Just can't shake you off my mind
