Monsieur Papier est le bombe, americaine!

Monsieur Papier...a French piece of paper, angry with ze world. But zis is because he is French, non? Oui. Monsieur Papier is six inches of spite folded up into one centimeter of hate, but only because ze society? It does make us cry! Oui! Monsieur Papier does know zis, and he does react wiz ze anger! Zat is why we, ze French, we love him, non?

TKN: Well, it's that time once again, kids. Time for anoth-

Monsieur Papier: Who are you talking to, americaine swine?

TKN: The tape recorder, Monsieur Papier.

MP: Well...okay zen.

TKN: Time for another interview with the piece of paper known as... Monsieur Papier.

MP: Nice dramatic pause, Madamoiselle homosexuale.

TKN: Um, okay. This, y'know...week I will be asking you about your favorite television shows.

MP: Why?

TKN: I'm not sure exactly. But that's okay. What are you watching these days, Monsieur Papier?

MP: Ze Friends.

TKN: Really? You're watching Friends?

MP: Oui. Joey, he is ze hilarious one. And I love watching all ze stupid young americaines.

TKN: I was always partial to Chandler.

MP: Ah, yes, ze most...how do you say? Ze most... exuberant Friend.

TKN: Well, I don't know about that.

MP: Wait, zat was not ze right word. I meant zat he was ze...um...

TKN: The what?

MP: Ah, yes. Ze gayest Friend.

TKN: (sighs) Moving on... what else are you watching?

MP: Trading Spaces. Are you familiar wiz ze Trading Spaces?

TKN: Vaguely. Explain it.

MP: Well, you see, zese two neighbours, zey are given money and an interior decorator. Zen zey have a weekend to change a pre-chosen room in ze house.

TKN:Doesn't sound too ba-

MP: And ZEN ze stupid americaines take abuse from ze interior decorators, who do zere own zing instead of what ze neighbors wanted to do. SO ZERE'S NO POINT IN ZERE BEING NEIGHBORS AT ALL!!! (NOTE: This is all 100% true.)

TKN: Wow, that does sound pretty boss.

MP: Oui. It does. You know what else I am watching? Ze Iron Chef.

TKN: Now, see, a pseudo-non-conformist teen like myself immediately recognizes Iron Chef. However, give us all a summary.

MP: SCREW OFF, AMERICAINE!!!

TKN: Now, that was just rediculously out of place, Monsieur Papier.

MP: Oui. But it suddenly occured to me zat we were being friendly. And I hate you so.

TKN: Yes. Well. Continue.

MP: So, zere is an ingredient shown. Zen two contestants, zey have an hour to make a five-course meal from it.

TKN: Man, there's so much more to it than it! It's, li-

MP: I TELL AS MUCH AS I FEEL LIKE, AMERICAINE BITCH!!!

TKN: You know, you're kinda running that into the ground.

MP: I know.