THE DAILY TRAVESTY | Smooching
T H E  D A I L Y  T R A V E S T Y
 
11 April 2000
Vol. 1, Issue 68
 

 
Hello,

I found this on the web.  Thought it was interesting, especially since I believe that you do truly "know" someone when you kiss them through the exchange of DNA that then becomes a part of your body.  I heard on the
news recently that your mouth still contains the bacteria of anyone you've ever kissed.  I've read that the reason couples begin to look like each other over time is that the DNA in their cells mutates through the introduction of the partner's DNA.  All that exchanging of bodily fluids!!  Their cells literally "know" the DNA of the partner.

Mel Clark


The Benefits Of Kissing
By Kristi Sandlin

If eyes are the portals to the soul, then lips are the corridor to the mind. We react to thoughts with a smile, express love with words and intentions with a kiss.  A kiss can say many things that are difficult to put into words.

"Kissing is an art and a highly individual and personal expression of affection and love," said John L. Ferri, author of "Sex in the Romance: A Review of Romantic Encounters of the Close Kind."

A kiss is usually the first time that two people come in close contact with one another, so it makes perfect sense that people become anxious and nervous.

An anonymous source in "The Book of Kisses" by William Cane describes a kiss as something that you cannot give without taking, and cannot take without giving.

Another anonymous source says that you shouldn't wait to know someone better before kissing him or her, you should kiss them first and then you will know them better.  The beauty of the kiss is that it translates into every language and religion.

Vaughn Bryant Jr., professor and head of the anthropology department at Texas A&M, said in a "Chicago Tribune" article that the first erotic kiss was exchanged about 1500 B.C. in India.  Prior to that time there is no evidence; (clay tablets, cave paintings or written records) that indicate the history of the kiss.

Bryant also said that rubbing and pressing noses together, a no-tongues exchange between lovers, became popular about 1500 B.C.

It was the Romans who unleashed the kiss, as we know it today.  Romans kissed each other hello, kissed the robes and rings of their leaders and kissed statues of Roman gods to signify their submission and respect.

The Romans soon discovered that a kiss has many meanings and assigned words for these different types of kisses, such as osculum meaning friendship kiss, basium meaning passionate kiss, and savium meaning deep kiss, otherwise known as the French kiss.

From that point on, kissing encountered opposition from religion as a venial sin.  However, the kiss triumphantly endured and thankfully so.

It is a scientific fact that kissing signals our brains to produce oxytocin, a hormone that gives us that good-all-over feeling we experience when kissing.  It is also known that biology causes one kiss to prompt another.  When we kiss, the insides of our mouths and edges of our lips produce a chemical that shouts for more.

A study in 1997 out of Princeton University concluded that our brains are equipped with neurons that help us find our lovers lips in the dark.  It is no wonder that many couples enjoy kissing in a dark theater.

German physicians and psychologists have concluded that those who kiss their spouse each morning miss less work because of illness than those who do not.  Those who kiss also have fewer auto accidents on the way to work, earn 20 to 30 percent more monthly and live approximately five years longer.  Dr. Arthur Sazbo, one of the German psychologists, says the reason behind the good fortune is those who have a morning kiss begin the day with a positive attitude.

Therefore, if you want to be happy, healthy, successful, and live longer, you should kiss your loved one before you go to work each day.
 

 
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.  She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will
grant you 3 wishes."

The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you  but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes- that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."

So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in
the world.  The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."  The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."

So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever bitches.... Don't mess with them.
 

Often things ARE as bad as they seem.