t h e d a i l y t r a v e s t y
the daily what? how can you call it a
travesty when it isn't always funny?
It's a secret.
7 April 2000
Vol. 1, Issue 66
"Microsoft vs. GM"
: At a recent computer
expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the
: computer industry with the auto
industry and stated, "If GM had kept
: up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be
: driving twenty-five-dollar cars that get 1000
miles to the gallon."
:
: Recently General Motors addressed this comment
by responding, "Yes,
: but would you want your car to crash twice a
day?"
:
: And . . .
:
: 1. Every time they repainted the lines on
the road you would have to
: buy a new car.
:
: 2. Occasionally, your
car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
: you would just accept this,
restart, and drive on.
:
: 3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would
cause your car to fail,
: and you would have to re-install the engine. For
some strange reason,
: you would accept this too.
:
: 4. You could
only have one person in the car at a time, unless you
: bought "Car95" or
"CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.
:
: 5. Macintosh
would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
: reliable, five times as
fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only
: run on five percent of the
roads.
:
: 6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft
upgrades to
: their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
:
: 7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
:
single "general car default" warning light.
:
: 8. New seats would force
everyone to have the same size butt.
:
: 9. The airbag system would say
"are you sure?" before going off.
Federal Court Upholds Suspension of Flag
Doodler
While Congress wrangles over proposals to outlaw
flag-burning, a
federal appeals court has ruled that merely
*drawing* a flag in class
can legally be grounds for suspension
under a school district's
"zero-tolerance" hate crime
regulations. fnord
T.J. West, a
student at Derby Middle School in Derby, Kansas, received
a
three-day suspension in May 1998 for drawing a Confederate flag
in
math class.
School officials said the
drawing violated a school district policy
that forbids students
from wearing or possessing material that is
"racially divisive
or creates ill will or hatred." The policy
specifically lists
the Confederate flag as an example of such
material. The
district says it created the policy to combat racial
tensions.
fnord
The Rutherford Institute, a
socially conservative legal organization,
sued the district on
the boy's behalf, claiming his First Amendment
right to freedom
of speech had been violated. fnord
In an unusual partnership, the
Kansas ACLU joined The Rutherford
Institute in the suit, arguing
that the policy "goes too far in giving
school officials
authority over student behavior." fnord
In August 1998, U.S. District
Senior Judge Wesley Brown dismissed the
suit, ruling that the
school district had a right to suspend the boy. fnord
In late March a three-judge panel
of the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of
Appeals upheld that
decision.
"While (the boy) may not have intended to harass
anyone by drawing the
Confederate flag, it is clear to the court
that he knowingly and
intentionally violated the policy against
possession of such symbols
at school," the court said. fnord
"Given the school's need to be
able to impose disciplinary sanctions
for a wide range of
unanticipated conduct disruptive of the
educational process,
...school disciplinary rules need not be as
detailed as a
criminal code which imposes criminal sanctions," the
judges
wrote. fnord!!
(Source:
Associated Press story, March 22, 2000)
"The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor
upon
the business known as gambling." - Ambrose
Bierce