THE DAILY TRAVESTY | The Same Deep Water as You
T H E  D A I L Y  T R A V E S T Y
 
For March 22, 2000
Volume 1, Issue 54
 
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***THE CURE are coming to Merriweather Post Pavilion in Columbia, MD on Saturday, June 17, 2000 as part of their Bloodflowers tour.  Show starts at 8 PM.  Tickets go on sale at 10 AM, Friday March 24th and are available through Ticketmaster.  We were quoted a price of $38.50 for Orchestra seats, $28.50 for Regular.  As most of our reader base is in the Maryland/DC area, if anyone is interested in joining a group already planning to attend, please contact the editor.  This could quite possibly be The Cure's last tour.
 
www.ticketmaster.com
410-481-SEAT (Maryland)
202-432-SEAT (the district)
 

 
If you add up all the people who have ever lived on earth, at any point in history, you get a total which is significantly LESS than the number of people alive today.  This, to me, begs two questions.  How, if this is true, can we all be re-incarnated souls? And what precisely have all of us come here for?  One thing's for sure. The purpose of life cannot involve meeting every single other person on the earth.  There are about 3 billion seconds in a century.  So, even if you were to get really organised and arrange to glance for just one second, into the eyes of all your fellow humans, you could only ever greet a portion of the population.  Half, maybe, if you went at it 24 hours a day for a hundred years.  More like a quarter if you were to allow time to eat, sleep and go shopping.
 
                                Jonathan Cainer
 

 
Dead Bunny

Years ago while lying in my hammock and drinking Jack Daniels from the bottle I noticed
my dog dragging something under the fence.  Upon inspection and to my dismay, I realized it was the next door neighbor's 10 year-old daughter's rabbit.  For years I had watched her come home from school and head straight out to its cage, free it and play with it in the yard.  I knew today would be no different and fearing for our dog, I had to think fast.

The rabbit was quite dirty, as if it had put up quite a struggle, so I washed it off with the
hose, combed it with the dog brush and blew it dry with the leaf blower.  Upon finishing its grooming I jumped the fence and replaced back in it's cage hoping it's death would be written off to "natural causes".

Back to the hammock and JD.  Within the hour the neighbors' Volvo pulled in as usual and
out popped the little girl, and as usual she headed straight for the cage.  Only this time she stopped about six feet away and screamed: "DDDDDAAAADDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Her father panic stricken stood looking at the cage.  Being the good neighbor that I am I
rushed to fence and asked if there was anything I could do.

Her father less than calmly blurted, "What kind of sick individual would dig up a little girl's
dead rabbit and put it back in its cage??"
 

remembering you how you used to be slow drowned you were angels so much more than everything hold for the last time then slip away quietly open my eyes but I never see anything there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart if only I'd thought of the right words