THE DAILY TRAVESTY | Spanked Without Pants
T H E  D A I L Y  T R A V E S T Y
 
For March 20, 2000
Volume 1, Issue 52
 
Speaking to anyone who wants to listen.
 
 
        Me?  I'm as old as the sky & as young as my last cell division.
        I'll assume the same of you, & of everybody, until convinced
        otherwise.  As for wisdom, by definition, it must stand on its
        own, & bears no temporal reference in my estimation.  For that
        matter, the idea of time itself is mostly a convenience invented
        to give consensus human reality an orderly appearance.  Like
        the Better Business Bureau, or spellcheck.  Quite a show, eh?

        Personally, I knew everything by the age of 22.  After 23, it was
        back to square one.....
 
                                            Via Davis, 3/18/00
 
 
Know a way to make us better?  Drop us a line.  
 
                bcphillips@chesapeake.net
 
 
List of actual English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong:
 
      1.  I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
      2.  Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
      3.  Gun wounds again?
      4.  Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
      5.  A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
      6.  Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
      7.  Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
      8.  Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
      9.  Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
     10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice
           chicken.
     11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
     12. You daring lousy guy.
     13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!
     14. I have been scared shitless too much lately.
     15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
     16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
     17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
     18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?
     19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum.
           I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods
           and leave them out on the dessert floor for your aunts to eat.
     20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the
           short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your
           gynecologist for a thorough extermination.
     21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a
           team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of
           our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person
 
She is not KINKY.
She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.