THE DAILY TRAVESTY | Aw, Shut up and Smile

THE DAILY TRAVESTY for March 3, 2000

Volume 1, Issue 42

I cannot be sure how many of you took up my cause last issue; several

people have written and/or phoned me inquiring if there is anything

seriously the matter; the answer is no, I am not about to self-destruct,

nobody is dying, and (in the usual sense) nothing terrible has happened.

I don't have any plans to talk about it here, as personal and subjective as

it is; I don't even think I am capable of explaining it. Sometimes you set

yourself up for a lot of suffering precisely to force yourself into taking a

certain kind of action you would otherwise be too afraid to attempt. It's

like a high-grade fever, awful to endure but beneficial in its purpose of

killing off all the infectious foreign bodies... or shall we say, purification.

Pain can be incredibly sobering. But, as I said in the very first issue,

"east or west, all woods must fail," all storms must pass, and in the

springtime what usually follows is the warmth of the sun, and that

lovely, intoxicating smell-- is it fresh, wet dirt, or is it breathable fertility?

To me there is nothing better than those moments right after a rain

shower in the springtime (unless it is a warm summer night, with open

windows, stars and crickets). Time stops, things coalesce.

Miraculously enough, I think I emerged yesterday from months of

darkness I hadn't even known I'd been submerged in. To anyone who

sent some kind thoughts my way-- thank you. Though I'm quite sure

you don't need any thanks.

Anything and everything is welcome! bcphillips@chesapeake.net

MS. AQUARIUS

by Mel Clark

I have a cousin, a second cousin really, Ms. Aquarius, who just recently discovered the joys of the IV hook-up called the internet and email. So now when I send her a joke or some other witty forward she will, without fail, personally respond to every one, usually under the assumption that I've written whatever it is myself. It's always, "Oh Mel you are so brilliant, clever, etc..." I repeatedly tell her that it's just a forward and I have no idea where it came from or even if it's true. She, however, remains unmoved, then I read, "Well YOU could have come up with that!" I'd be hard-pressed to find a more ardent cheerleader. If there's something I want to do, some idea I've come up with, she's the one erupting in my ear, "Go For It!" In her youth she was a singer and wickedly enjoyed all she was entitled to as a mini-celebrity in a small town. Now in her fifties, still married to a man she hasn't seen since I played with baby dolls, I'm in the process of kicking her off of her big, fat ass, (as she would describe it) to get her to move, physically and spiritually and discover what she wants to do with her life at this point. Still, you couldn't meet her without discovering the word FABULOUS! spreading crossing your lips in a slow smile. And I'm so blessed that she didn't run off to the Middle East to become part of that harem. (giggle)

Hi All,

This started as a joke, and will probably start off in print
or online as a joke before it becomes an international
phenomenon, but I am seeking nominations for the first
annual...

D I L D O A W A R D S
(can you see it... a gold statue...)

To the people who have contributed to human pleasure in
the past year.

Eric Francis

Aqueerious Moon

eric@planetwaves.net

And now, just because she keeps sending me pictures of this mutt and she's such a damn good photographer, may I present friend Melissa's disgustingly cute puppy, Mugs.

Mugs is half-poodle, half-chihuahua. Email Melissa at Ruiner666@hotmail.com. She would love to hear you tell her how adorable her puppy is.

Little darling it's been a long cold lonely winter little darling it feels like years since it's been here here comes the sun here comes the sun it's all right <> Little darling I feel that ice is slowly melting little darling it seems like years since it's been clear here comes the sun here comes the sun I say It's all right