THE DAILY TRAVESTY for February 28,
2000
Volume 1, Issue 39
My, aren't we
tech-savvy!
Erin would like to say:
"paganism is fucking cool."
Thank you, Erin.
(She intends to say more on the subject later)
**ANNOUNCEMENTS**
Saturday Night Live plans to air a special
this Tuesday night at 8 PM Eastern Time comprised of all their very funny
gameshow skits, including Celebrity Jeopardy.
It has been brought to my attention that there is a
petition going to "STOP DR. LAURA," who-- yes, it's true-- is getting
her own TV show from Paramount, set to air this coming fall. An excerpt:
"When 60 Minutes' Andy Rooney
belittled Native Americans ... he got suspended. When
golf announcer Ben Wright mocked lesbians... he got fired. When writer
Jimmy Breslin denigrated Asians... he got suspended.
When Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott
disparaged African-Americans... she got fired. When football player Reggie
White attacked gays...
he got dropped by CBS and Campbell's Soup. But Dr. Laura calls gays
"biological mistakes"... and she's getting a TV show from
Paramount. Enough is enough. Paramount pulled a show in
1998 that offended African-Americans ("The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer"), but is fine when Dr.
Laura equates homosexuality with incest
and pedophilia. Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered Americans deserve equal respect,
not a double standard."
People are being asked to email
Paramount. The address
is
NEWSPAPER ASTROLOGY
Hi All,
I am working on an article about how
good newspaper astrologers
can really hit the nail on the head, and what
events correspond
in our lives when they do.
I know many of
you follow sun-sign writers like myself, Cainer, Brezsney,
Jenn Blue and others. Would you please report back
with any interesting
occurrences that correspond to such columns,
including a cut-and-pasted
clip of the entry and the DATE of the entry (so
that I can chart it?)
This will be a fun, funny and serious look at the
most poo-pooed astrology
-THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT-
(cont'd)
ERIS-- GODDESS OF CHAOS,
DISCORD & CONFUSION
They awoke to the sound of
pins clattering, and found the bowlers engaged in their game and the waitress
busy with making coffee. It was apparent that their experience had been
private.
They discussed their
strange encounter and reconstructed from memory the chimpanzee's diagram.
Over the next five days they searched libraries to find the significance of it,
but were disappointed to uncover only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and
Technocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the apple
that they discovered the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as ERIS and to the
Romans as DISCORDIA. This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that
night each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as
feather and as deep as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance
of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics
of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested and dissolved as
she spoke in a warm and gentle voice:
I have come to tell you
that you are free. Many ages ago, my consciousness left man, that he might
develop himself. I return to find this development reaching completion,
but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding.
You have built for
yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted,
your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is
broiled in the sun.
I am chaos. I am
the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am
the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy
anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are
free.
During the next months they
studied philosophies and theologies, and learned that ERIS or DISCORDIA was
primarily feared by the ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very
concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a
negative. "No wonder things are all screwed up," they concluded.
"They have got it all backwards." They found that the principle of
disorder was every much as significant as the principle of order.
With this in mind, they
studied the strange yin-yang. During a meditation one afternoon, a voice
came to them:
It is called THE SACRED
CHAO. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything
you like. Speak of me as DISCORD, to show contrast to the pentagon.
Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent
rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO
MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of
Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal
gland.
"What is this?" mumbled one to
the other. "A religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? It is
utter madness!"
And with those words, each looked at the
other in absolute awe. Omar began to giggle. Mal began to
laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was hooting
and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with
tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own
madness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia, for
what ever that may turn out to be.
"Did you know that there is a million bucks
hidden
in the house next
door?"
"But there is no house next door."
"No? Then let's go build one!"
--MARX
a thoughtful reader contributes
this:
Life begins and spirits rise and
they become memories that vaporize and the vapor becomes the dreams we devise
and while we are dreaming, time flys. "Of Past Regrets and Future
Fears" Author Unknown