THE DAILY TRAVESTY for February 24,
2000
Volume 1, Issue 37
The Travesty Online: www.angelfire.com/zine/dailytravesty
Email: bcphillips@chesapeake.net
10. The Earth quakes and the Heavens
rattle;
the beasts of nature flock together and
the
nations of men flock apart; volcanoes usher
up
heat while elsewhere water becomes ice
and
melts; and then on other days it just
rains.
11. Indeed do many things come to pass.
HBT;
The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19
-THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN
MOVEMENT-
THE REVELATION
Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik
was alone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as
a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Vietnam, and talk of a
second American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the late
nineteen-fifties, just before the idea of RENAISSANCE became
relevant...
Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and
Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at an
allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's problems. This
particular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and they were
complaing to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their respective
lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, "and all other problems
will vanish." "Indeed," said the other, "chaos and strife are the
roots of all confusion."
FIRST I MUST SPRINKLE YOU
WITH FAIRY DUST
Suddenly the place became devoid of
light. Then an utter silence enveloped them, and a great stillness was
felt. Then came a blinding flash of intense light, as if their very
psyches had gone nova. Then vision returned.
The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for
several minutes. They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen
like statues in a variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was
steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins that it had been
sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally unable to account
for the phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension, and one noticed
that the clock had stopped.
There walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy
and grey about the muzzle, yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with
natural majesty. He carried a scroll and walked to the young men.
"Gentlemen," he said, "Why does Pickering's
Moon go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nipples on your
chest; do you give milk? And what, prey tell, Gentlemen, is to be done
about Heisenburg's Law?" He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS
CONFUSION HERE!"
And with that he revealed his scroll. It
was a diagram, like a yin-yang with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the
other. And then he exploded and the two lost
consciousness.
Continued
tomorrow...
contributions can, of course, be completely
anonymous.