THE DAILY TRAVESTY | Rupert Everett, Thoughts, Teacher's Salary
THE DAILY TRAVESTY for February 14, 2000
    Volume 1, Issue 31
 
 
 
 
          On being told of the idea, certain Eeyores advised
            me against attempting anything of the sort.  But
            following the advice of Eeyores has rarely seemed
            A Particularly Good Thing to Do.  Quite the contrary:
            if the Eeyores are against something, I tend to think
            there might be something to it.
                            --Benjamin Hoff, The Te of Piglet
 

Rupert Everett

 
Who is Rupert Everett, I would like to know.  I just received a mass email that reached jesus nose how many millions of people from MTV's self-acclaimed "hit show" Fanatic.  They're looking for someone who considers himself or herself Rupert Everett's Number 1 Fan to actually come on the show and actually sit in an actual chair and shake the actual hand of the real Rupert Everett.
 
If this is you, email the folks at Fanatic.  Wash your hands before the show so you don't soil Rupert Everett.
 
Tucker Lieberman
 

~Thoughts

As I sit and think the thought
I think i thought of thee.
The way you looked and thought to see
The thought that looked like me.

You shook away your thought of me
The thought you could not bear
And as i sit and think the thought
Your stare was never there.

~jael krebs /2k

 

"TEACHERS GET PAID TOO MUCH"

I'm fed up with teachers and their hefty salary schedules.  What we need
here is a little perspective.  If I had my way, I'd pay them babysitting
wages.  That's right!   Instead of paying these outrageous taxes, I'd give

them $3.00 an hour out of my own pocket.  And I'm only going to pay them
for 5 hours, not coffee breaks.  That would be $15.00 a day.  Each parent
should pay $15.00 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their kid.  Even if
they have more than one child, it's still a lot cheaper than private day care.
Now, how many children do they teach every day, maybe 25?  That's $15.00 x
25 = $375.00 a day.  But remember, they only work 180 days a year!  I'm not
going to pay for all of those vacations!  $375.00 x 180 = $67,500. (Just a
minute, I think my calculator needs new batteries!!)

Now I know you teachers will say "What about those who have 10 years'
experience and a Master's Degree?  Well, to be fair, they could get minimum
wage, and instead of babysitting, they could read the kids a story.  We can
round that off to $5.50 an hour, times 5 hours, times 25 children.  That's
$687.50 a day times 180 days.  That's $123,750........


lyrics last issue by Michael McDonald.
 
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