THE DAILY TRAVESTY | Latin, Headaches, and Dumb Forwards
THE DAILY TRAVESTY for January 17, 2000
Volume 1, Issue 11
brought to you by B.C.
with Tucker in the background doing some magic
 
 
caritas patiens est benigna est caritas non aemulatur non agit perperam non inflatur non est ambitiosa non quaerit quae sua sunt non inritatur non cogitat malum non gaudet super iniquitatem congaudet autem veritati omnia suffert omnia credit omnia sperat omnia sustinet caritas numquam excidit
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CHANT TO CURE A MINOR HEADACHE
 
Antlion listened to people he'd known
When his ship fell apart on a wild seastorm
He blew bottle whistles and fluted them on
 
Beetlegirl drifted on spindle legs home
She lived in the hearth in the home of the sun
Filled up with goldengrass, holly, and bones
 
Ladybird breathed in the timothy air
What ached in her stomach and tousled her hair
And burned in the crumbles of earth was not there
 
Tucker wrote this September 19, 1997, some time after his first migraine.  Be it known that this is not effective against migraines, which are from the Devil.
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PEOPLE ARE DUMB
 
I find this humorous.  It is a forward I received from an anonymous TRAVESTY reader, and I estimate that it went through at least a hundred and fifty people before getting to me.  It speaks for itself, but keep in mind that I have edited nothing and copied it word-for-word, with the exception of deleting the excess spaces which developed from the forward.
 
"If you have seen the movie Austin Powers The spy who shagged me did you wait until the credits to leave the thearte? Well if you did than you saw when the characters of Austin Powers were on the Jerry Springer Show. Well did you know that if you wait even longer aftre that that there is a part backstage after the show. This is what you have to do to see this halarious clip just send this to 10 people. 10 people thats all and when the screen pops up that says "You're Mail Has Been Sent", Click ok and the hold down the alt button on your kwyboard and press the letter S twice. The reason you press S is for the words "Shagged Spy". When you do that a little window will pop up and it will start to play. Happy Laughing!"
 
Dammit!!  It didn't work!  Stupid fucking computer!!
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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
 
BC, i just wanted to advise you and all your readers to go see "magnolia" immediately.  preferably in the company of someone you care about but can't stop hurting.

fred
 
Editor: Magnolia is the new Paul Anderson film with Tom Cruise, William H. Macy, Julianne Moore, etc.
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As always, if you would like to contribute anything to this publication, your work or not-your-work, in the form of a story, poem, quotation, essay, letter, opinion, satire, monologue, statement, speech, holy transmission, prayer, curse, or any other form under the sun, whether or not it has a name, please feel free to do so.  We only ask that it be relatively SHORT.  We also reserve the right to edit your submission, but we promise to let you and everyone else know if we do (and we don't intend to).
To receive or not to receive, email bcphillips@chesapeake.net
 
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