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KATZ'S ORIGINAL HOLE IS SIMULATED ELECTRONICALLY FOR THE GENERAL PUBLIC HERE AT THIS WEB SITE. WELL, THAT CONCLUDES YOUR ORIENTATION. WE HOPE YOU'VE LEARNED PLENTY AND WISH YOU LUCK AS YOU EMBARK ON YOUR MYSTERIOUS JOURNEY. CLICK HERE TO LEARN YOUR INITIAL LOCATION AND OBTAIN YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT IT SEEMS THAT WHEN TWELVE OR MORE YODELERS PERFORM AT A HIGH ENOUGH ALTITUDE AND SIMULTANEOUSLY HIT IDENTICAL SOUR NOTES, A TREMENDOUS BLACK HOLE WILL APPEAR TO ANYONE CONSUMING HOT CHOCOLATE LACED WITH GRAIN ALCOHOL. CLICK HERE TO FINISH YOUR ORIENTATION THE HOLE WAS DISCOVERED IN 1885 BY SWISS MATHEMATICIAN JOSEPH KATZ (KNOWN TO COLLEAGUES AS "JOEYCAT"). KATZ MADE HIS DISCOVERY QUITE ACCIDENTALLY WHILE ATTENDING A YODEL MEET HIGH IN THE ALPS WITH HIS WIFE, STRUDY, A ONETIME YODEL DIVA AND GREAT YODELING FAN. CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE YOUR ORIENTATION NO, UNLIKE YOUR TYPICAL BLACK HOLE, THIS IS NEITHER A DEEP SPACE PHENOMENON NOR A DENSE, POWERFUL SUCKING MACHINE. JOEYCAT'S BLACK HOLE IS BEST UNDERSTOOD AS A STATE OF MIND, AS A WEIRD KIND OF GOOFY THING. BUT DON'T TRY TO EXPLAIN IT USING THE KNOWN LAWS OF SCIENCE-- YOU'LL FIND IT TRANSCENDS SPACE AND TIME. MAKE NO MISTAKE, HOWEVER, THE HOLE DOES "EXIST". CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE YOUR ORIENTATION WELCOME TO JOEYCAT'S MYSTERIOUS BLACK HOLE. THIS BLACK HOLE IS NOT AT ALL LIKE OTHERS YOU'VE HEARD ABOUT. CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE YOUR ORIENTATION
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YOU ARE NOW IN QUADRANT 2, REGION 37, SECTOR 98665.089F.0086W. IN PLAIN ENGLISH, YOU'RE PRETTY DEEP IN THE HOLE. YOU WILL HAVE TWO ASSIGNMENTS DURING YOUR STAY. HERE IS YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT: NAVIGATE TO THE EXACT CENTER OF THE HOLE. ONCE THERE MAINTAIN YOUR POSITION LONG ENOUGH FOR IT TO BE VALIDATED. WHEN THE VALIDATION IS COMPLETE, YOU WILL BE GIVEN YOUR SECOND ASSIGNMENT. AGAIN, WELCOME TO THE HOLE. CLICK HERE TO BEGIN YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT |
VERY GOOD. YOU ARE A NATURAL NAVIGATOR-- YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT IS PROCEEDING NICELY. CLICK HERE TO UPDATE YOUR LOCATION
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WHOA! SOMETHING HAPPENED-- YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR DA CENTER O' DA HOLE. YOU'RE BACK IN REGION 53. LET'S SEE, SECTOR 67545.233J.0288P TO BE EXACT. CLICK HERE TO ATTEMPT TO RETURN TO DA CENTER O' DA HOLE
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HEY, NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE. YOU KNEW DAMN WELL THIS PLACE WOULD BE MYSTERIOUS. CLICK HERE TO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER AND-- YES-- CONTINUE YOUR RETURN TO DA CENTER O' DA HOLE!!
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YOU'RE BACK ON TRACK: QUADRANT 2, REGION 89, SECTOR 76564.098D.6543C. CLICK TO UPDATE
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OK, OK-- YOU NOW IN DA CENTER OF DA HOLE. AND WE'VE VALIDATED YOUR LOCATION. FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH YOU'VE OFFICIALLY COMPLETED YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT. CLICK HERE FOR YOUR SECOND ASSIGNMENT
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IT'S ONLY A MIRAGE, BUT IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU CLICK IT.
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THAT SEEMED TO HELP, IT'S MULTIPLYING. CLICK HERE
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STATUS: IMAGE AVAILABLE CLICK TO VIEW IMAGE STATUS: CONVERTING IMAGE CLICK TO CONTINUE STATUS: TRANSFERRING IMAGE CLICK TO CONTINUE STATUS: TRANSFERRING IMAGE CLICK TO CONTINUE STATUS: IMAGE CAPTURED CLICK TO CONTINUE STATUS: SATELLITE ZEROING IN CLICK TO CONTINUE ONCE AGAIN WE'RE QUESTIONING WHETHER YOU'RE PAYING THE TOP NOTCH ATTENTION REQUIRED FOR THIS IMPORTANT AND STILL DANGEROUS ASSIGNMENT? IF NOT, WRITE "I MUST LEARN TO PAY CLOSER ATTENTION WHILE IN STILL DANGEROUS SITUATIONS" 100 TIMES WHILE PAUSING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE TO HOWL LIKE A FORLORN HUSKY. CLICK TO CONTINUE STATUS: OBJECTS LOCATED DESCENDING INTO GRAND CANYON CLICK TO CONTINUE STATUS: OBJECTS LOCATED IN NORTHERN ARIZONA CLICK TO CONTINUE STATUS: OBJECTS LOCATED IN SOUTHWEST U. S. CLICK TO CONTINUE STATUS: SATELLITE SEARCHING FOR OBJECTS CLICK TO CONTINUE STATUS: SATELLITE ENGAGED CLICK TO CONTINUE WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE'D THEY GO? CLICK HERE TO PERFORM A SATELLITE SEARCH
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GOOD GOD THAT'S BRIGHT! QUICK, CLICK HERE |
1) YOU CAN SEND US $49.99 AND WE'LL LET YOU OUT OF HERE. 2) YOU CAN EXPERIENCE A SHAREWARE ESCAPE FREE FOR 30 DAYS. OF COURSE, IF YOU DON'T SEND US $49.99 WITHIN A MONTH, WE'LL DRAG YOUR ASS BACK IN HERE. 3) YOU CAN TAKE UP RESIDENCE-- IT AIN'T SO BAD. 4) YOU CAN OBTAIN A LAW DEGREE AT KNO AND GO UNIVERSITY AND SUE YOUR WAY OUT. WHICH WILL IT BE? CHOICE 1 CHOICE 2 CHOICE 3 CHOICE 4
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BINGO- YOU SMACK DAB IN DA CENTER O' DA HOLE CLICK TO VALIDATE QUADRANT 2, REGION 99, SECTOR 99999.999Z.9999Z CLICK TO UPDATE COMPUTING LOCATION, PLEASE STAND BY CLICK TO UPDATE QUADRANT 2, REGION 99, SECTOR 99965.046K.0226N CLICK TO UPDATE ARE YOU PAYING THE KIND OF TOP OF THE LINE ATTENTION REQUIRED FOR THIS IMPORTANT AND VERY DANGEROUS ASSIGNMENT? IF NOT, WRITE "I MUST LEARN TO PAY CLOSER ATTENTION WHILE IN DANGEROUS SITUATIONS" 100 TIMES WHILE BALANCING A PANCAKE ON YOUR HEAD. CLICK TO CONTINUE QUADRANT 2, REGION 83, SECTOR 76432.080T.6563A CLICK TO UPDATE QUADRANT 2, REGION 61, SECTOR 18641.083D.0086W CLICK TO UPDATE COMPUTING LOCATION, PLEASE STAND BY CLICK TO UPDATE COMPUTING LOCATION, PLEASE STAND BY CLICK TO UPDATE QUADRANT 2, REGION 53, SECTOR 66565.229G.0246B CLICK TO UPDATE QUADRANT 2, REGION 46, SECTOR 38625.089F.0156Z CLICK TO UPDATE |
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Preview of Pearly Gates-- the home of nothing but Joeycat sites (ponder and drool): Joeycat the Original, Big Fat Joeycat, THE REAL Big Fat Joeycat, Richmond Joeycat, Joeycat.com and loads more. |
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Updated 10/15/2013 |
Thanks for the offer, but we don't need any help right now. TOP