By: Mary Ann Boring

I tentatively step towards the caldron, uncertain as to whether I am ready to

embrace my heritage as a Shaolin.

My hands fall limply to my sides as I back away from the assembled priests.

Including my father, Kwai Chang Caine.

I want to please him, but there is another whom I called father.

I am torn between them and their two worlds.

I love them both.

There is unfinished business with him. I need to know if he still loves me as he

did then.

I need him, but does he want me? Why did he leave us? When will he come

home?

I need these answers from him.

I have to find him.

My senses have been heightened due to the training I have been given.

I wonder if I have the ability to leave my body to search for him.

But will my Shaolin father help me find my other father?

I have had dreams where he comes back to me, only to vanish again.

I am lost, like that frightened child again, coming to terms with the death of

my real father and the destruction of the temple.

I can't go on like this. I need his help.

I cannot take the brands of the tiger and the dragon until I get my head on

straight.

Please be at the secret place, Paul. I--we all need to see you.

To touch you and know that you're alive and well.

We need to tell you how much we love and miss you.

I want you to come back and be with us.

Be part of my life again, Father.

I still need you, even now.

I love and miss you.