Bitzin' It Old School
by: JackOfClubs
I was sitting in my history class one day almost falling asleep and the teacher says, "If you're that tired maybe you shouldn’t even come to class," so I haven’t been since.
It’s a good idea to think about how your new ways of picking up women might work out before actually applying them. I wonder if they ever found her finger...
Doctors work by the Hippocratic oath. Parents work by the hypocritical oath. Used to be, my parents would be all on me because I "never went out anywhere with my friends." Now I’ll say I’m going out with my friends and they get all mad because I "spend too much time with my friends." MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!
I get no privacy at all. If I’m doing anything in my room, and the door is open, my entire household suddenly thinks it is their responsibility to come in and have a little house party while, at the same time, looking over my shoulder at anything I happen to be doing at the time. This is why I don’t have nudie posters like normal kids.
Summer’s coming. No more cold toilet seats.
My dad has a 3-ton SUV jack in his garage. I asked him what it was for and he said he was going to "go on a rampage and jack $#!+ up." Why don’t I get to do fun stuff like that? Forget car sledding, I'm going @$$-jacking!
Tell a guy you sat on your nuts, you get sympathy. Tell a girl you sat on your nuts, you get laughed out of the room. Girls don’t just get it.
Next time: Car sledding: The ultimate @$$-grinding experience.
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