This is the men's guide to dating. Ladies, want to know what'll really get our attention? You've come to the right place. Here you'll find amazing ideas and concepts that will rock your world. (See below, where I've written some of the fundamental amazing ideas that may interest you.)
I must warn you, this is also a war zone. Because that's what dating has become. Plenty of men just expect that without even blinking, other men try to deny it hoping that it's just them, or they're just seeing things, or they just live in a bad part of town. I too still hope that maybe there's some truth in there somewhere. Myself and 99 out of 100 other guys it seems. Women, I really don't know what you expect, it seems to me that you're winning this war, and in some ways rather ridiculously, but at the same time you're so brainwashed you aren't able to take advantage of that fact. So in essence I guess we're all losing. It takes two to tangle, after all.
Apparently a war was started a little over 30 years ago. Women wanted "equality." So they started fighting a war. And they're still fighting. Beats me who they're fighting against. I guess they think they're fighting against men. Like men are trying to keep them from making money or something. Personally I have yet to encounter any man that I really thought was trying to hold women down, or any evidence remotely suggesting men think that way. In spite of the fact that I am taking up keyboard and attempting to defend myself in this war, I don't have any problem with women making any money. (Women making money in itself I seriously doubt will have any negative impact on my life. Perhaps it will have a positive impact, it seems to me that twice as many people making money might have a stimulating effect on the economy. I don't know, I'm not an economist. At any rate, if lightning struck and I actually got married, I'd probably be glad to see my wife spending some of her own money, rather than always spending mine.) I was born 25 years ago, so the war was probably well past the kindling stage when I was born. Recently I graduated from college. When it comes to life in the business world I'm still an infant. But somehow I get blamed for women making less money then men. Whatever. Women want to be able to do all the things men do. Congratulations. Go ahead do it, I'm not stopping you and neither is anybody else. At this point, more and more of us could honestly care less.
But women seem to think the respect and understanding they demand from men doesn't need to be reciprocated. That's what I have a problem with, and if it's a war you wanted, congratulations, you now have one.
This is an emotional war, from my standpoint I see men's emotions dying slow, painful, and quiet deaths or becoming prisoners everywhere I turn. Women, you have turned friends into enemies. The right to expression that you so cherish and abuse you have almost eliminated for men. Why then should men be interested in you and your endless problems? It seems every year the generalizations about men become more numerous, stronger, and farther from reality. We are not humans, we're "animals" (like humans aren't -apologies to the rest of the animal world) we're some other, inferior species that functions much more on instinct, we don't think much, we don't feel much, we spend our lives hunting; for business, pussy, footballs, southern watermelon, etc. We're all serial rapists, we can't be trusted. We're incapable of expressing ourselves. (Gee I wonder why; I dare you to resurface this one on this website) We're forgetful ("oops, forgot the beer" -bet you haven't heard that one -a little secret -we're not inclined to forget something that's important to us). We're not romantic. (Who wants to be?)
The typical woman's definition of man is "Frankenstein Monster." Most women would be surprised to find that neither the words 'Frankenstein' nor 'Monster' are included if you look it up in Webster's. You could program robots to have at least some feelings. But men are dehumanized even more than that. And then women complain that they can't find satisfying relationships. This may come as a shock, but Frankenstein monsters don't make good lovers. They don't make good friends either. But all is not lost! Scientists have been frantically and excitedly researching new evidence that suggests an amazing break through in fulfilling the desires of women! The amazing truth is that the definition of man as Frankenstein Monster is way out of date and widely inaccurate! There are tons of guys all over the place, we'll call them 'nice guys' they don't get much notice, but they generally either don't want to, or simply can't live up to this expectation of them to be Frakenstein Monsters. So they are seen as less then men, failures of their gender, pleasant people to talk to on occasion and incapable of any real harm, and previously thought to be not much use. But what experts are discovering is that lo and behold, these 'nice guys' seem to have the potential for loyalty, deep understanding and sensitivity for others, some even theorize that in the right environment, they may be very adept at communicating. They also are much warmer and the toughness that comes with the more traditional 'Frankenstein' definition tends to lie latent in nice guys and only appears in very rare, select situations. The uncanny part of all this is, these are all things women complaim are lacking from their relationships. If this is all true, it may answer some questions about how we all got here that recently have been puzzling some evolutionists. But the real killer is experts are now saying this could be an amazing discovery for women's sex lives. Scientists were shocked when they found that these characteristics of loyalty, sensitivity, communication and warmth correspond very well with what women seem to be desiring more of from their sexual partners! Experts lately have been holding numerous conferences to come to an agreement over what should be the new definition of "man."
Anyway, the list of stereotypes goes on and on, and it seems to be getting worse. Anyone trying to date these days is going to have to deal with this war. Picture an American soldier and a German soldier trying to share a foxhole during WWII. Do things come into focus a little more now? Personally I don't see why anyone would attempt to do romantic or warm touchy-feely things with someone they don't trust. I mean, if all men are potential rapists, then why do women worry about whether their tits are positioned right if I don't stick my tongue out, start panting and gawk at them every time they walk by? (If you're not one of the women that obsesses about her tits, trust me there are many that do. It's pretty amusing watching a woman looking down at her tits with a puzzled expression and pulling on her shirt when she doesn't think you see her. And they do it all the time. By the way, your tits are fine. If you want to know the real problem keep reading/ask on the discussion board.) And why the hell would I want to stick my tongue out and start panting at someone who thinks of me as something so degrading and so much different than who I really am, while she thinks of herself as God's gift to the entire world and incapable of error?
I invite you, male or female or stereotype, to join my little slice of the war on the internet by contributing your throes of anguish on the discussion board and experiencing those of others. Good luck. There are no rules. But I should mention that this is my website and that essentially means that I'm the tyrant here and that means I have ways of influencing what happens here, and I really don't care if I exhibit favoritism. A little hint -I'll probably be rooting for the individuals that are modest, rational, and sensitive towards their fellow humans.
THE BATTLEFIELD
If you'd rather not go on to the battlefield, believe me we understand. I invite you to hang out at The Barracks, where things will be more peaceful and we shoot the bull and talk about whatever you want to talk about, could be porn, sports, snorkeling, whatever. If you feel that someone is stirring up trouble in the barracks, complain to me and maybe I'll send them out to the front lines.
Some fundamental amazing ideas:
(AI#1)Until now, for most women, most of the ideas presented to you are from the media, or from other women. You don't hear ideas from men, because, well, we're men. How would we know? So you don't listen to us. (AI#2)Well, we do know, and if any of you have trouble understanding us that's probably pretty amusing to most of us. Most of us think life pretty much revolves around sex, beer, and ballgames. Preferably in large quantities, and preferably not the lowest quality. But we take what we can get. It's no big secret, and it's pretty straight forward. Why make life complicated?
(AI#3)The problem with the media is they are generally funded by people trying to sell things like diet plans, cosmetics, self-help books, expensive undies, etc. (Often media is funded by things like beer companies, but most of you don't use those parts of the media.) Sorry sweetheart, but in the western world the dollar reigns above all else. Hate to break it to you, but these media companies are not trying to solve your problems. Now, let's pause here, think about, and reiterate that line: "these media companies are not trying to solve your problems." O.k, now let's move on. They're just trying to make a buck, like everyone else. They are trying to create problems for you that they can pretend to solve, because then you'll buy the products sold by their advertisers. Yeah it's harsh, but the people in charge don't care, as long as they're making a hell of a lot more money than everyone else. And the problem with other women is that they're women -they get their information from the same places you do.
My advice to women on dating:
(AI#4) First of all, you need fundamental respect for your fellow humans. If it hasn't yet dawned on you that the overwhelming majority of men simply aren't rapists, aren't bloodthirsty animals controlled only by instinct, that we do have feelings, and that we are quite capable of caring for companions that we value, etc. then you will not have any kind of relatioship with a man that is satisfying. Your relationship will be a self-fulfilling prophecy of bitterness and distrust. Duh. Neither the following nor any other advice will do you any good, and I'd have to ask why the hell you're interested in dating men anyway if you see us as such foul, untrustworthy creatures. Many of you haven't advanced past this stage, there's no point in you dating men until you do.
For those of you that do have fundamental respect and understanding for your fellow humans:
(AI#5) To get a man's attention, and to increase your chances of going on a date with him by staggering proportions: Communicate your attraction to him verbally. That's right, open your mouth and talk to him using this amazing thing we call language -like English for example. Or Spanish. Whatever you think you and he both understand the most fluently. Say, in so many words, something like: 'I find you attractive and your personality is interesting.' or 'I think you're a hunk I'd like to get to know you better.' 'Can I buy you a cup of coffee sometime' 'Would you like to go on a date with me' 'Would you like to have lunch with me' etc. It's very simple, direct, and that's the beauty and effectiveness of it. Spoken language is a powerful thing and humans have accomplished some amazing things by using it. Once he gets over the shock, he might very well see you in a special light and happily go on a date with you.
Even if you're not ready to cut to the quick, and you just want to do some light friendly flirting, saying "Hi" is a much bigger turn on for a guy than some half-assed little smile. Communicating verbally shows you've got a set of balls and some self confidence. (AI#6)You won't get far without balls, grow a pair. A silent smile or flirty look will demonstrate you to be just another wimpy woman, and you'll instantaneously blend in with all the other over-adjusted boobs.
If you regularly read a magazine like Cosmo, Redbook, Allure, Glamour, etc., you may have trouble getting him to go on more than one or two dates before he starts pretending he never knew you. I don't know exactly how effective this will be, and each of you may be in varying circumstances as to the severity of the situation, depending on factors such as how often and for how long you've been reading these publications. But here is what I suggest, it can only help. First of all, stop reading these publications. Remove them from your life, they will confuse you, complicate your life, and be a crippling and sad hinderance to any relationship with a man that you have feelings for. If you do have some sort of problems in a relationship, the editor of some magazine that doesn't know you and your man from Dick and Jane will only give advice that is most likely inappropriate to your specific situation. If you need information about your man, make use of that invention called language again, ask him questions and discuss things with him, he's your most reliable source of accurate information about him and his relationship with you. Also, if you're obsessed about your looks you will put guys to sleep. FYI, most men think most women are attractive by default. It's part of that whole straight/gay thing. There are a lot of good looking women out there, surprise surprise. But meeting a woman with personality and a little more in her head then, 'gee I'll bet that new hairdo will make me look great' is generally a unique and wonderful experience. Your new push up bra might cause a few men to be impressed for a few seconds. That's because there's so little else out there. Finding something else like intelligence or social skills to value about yourself might keep a guy blissfully interested for years.
The next step is to daily write down 5 ways that men and women are similar. This shouldn't be difficult or terribly time consuming, just really simple things. The idea is that men and women in reality are from the same planet, no matter what everyone seems to think. An example of 5 things might be: Men and women both like ice cream. Men and women both need sleep. Men and women both think flowers are pretty. Men and women both dislike losing money. Men and women like doing crossword puzzles. I suggest you do this every day for 3 weeks. I suppose it might be helpful to do it longer than 3 weeks, but I suspect after some point the increase in value begins to taper off and becomes insignificant.
If you:
-have respect for men
-ask them on dates
-are good at expressing yourself and listening while they express themselves
then you will be a rare and valuable gem among rubble. Your competition for Mr. Right is pathetic and lost compared to you. I advise you to take advantage of your situation, no reason not to, you deserve it. Believe me when I say your competition is pathetic. They aren't worth mentioning, they make plenty of men gag, that's why we avoid them. It's not something you understand because it's not your problem. Indeed, it's your advantage, take it from me, and don't pass it up. (And be assertive about dating, it never hurts, as a gem assertiveness is the catalyst that sooner or later will cause men to appreciate you for who you are.)