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Summary: Hoshi helps Archer prepare for an important meeting with the Klingons.
The Trouble With Diplomacy
By Rocky

"Try it again, Captain," Hoshi said with what she hoped was an encouraging smile.

"Nuqneh," said Archer, with a scowl, and then grinned. "I think I'm getting the hang of this language! You know, I think it helps if you frown as you're saying the words."

Hoshi shook her head. "Uh, no, sorry, sir. It's more of an 'oo' sound,  'Nooknehh', and you're clipping the final syllable too much."

"Nooknoo," said Archer, with another fierce facial expression. "How's that?'"

"Better."

"Nooknehh."

"That's it!" Hoshi said, her relief unfeigned. "OK, that means 'state your business'. Now the next important phrase--"

"How about hello?"

"Klingons don't have a word for hello." Hoshi consulted her list. "Let's see, oh, this is very important. 'Qapla' batlh je'. It means 'success and honor.'"

"Kappa battle gee," repeated Archer.

Hoshi involuntarily closed her eyes.

Archer rose to his feet. "Look, this isn't working, Hoshi. It took me forty five minutes just to learn the first word; neither of us have time for this. It was a nice idea, being able to address the Klingon High Council in their own language--especially after the recent, shall we say, misunderstandings we've had with them. But I'm never going to sound like a native speaker."

Hoshi nodded slowly, glad he'd come to the same conclusion she had. "That doesn't mean you can't make another type of diplomatic gesture, Captain."

"Like what?"

"Let me think--" all of a sudden Hoshi brightened. "Perfect!"

"What?" asked Archer, curious.

"I'll let you know when I get back from Sickbay," Hoshi said, already on her way out the door


Archer stared at the small object Hoshi held out. Next to him, Porthos gave a cautious sniff and then thumped his tail repeatedly.

"And you're sure this is an appropriate gift?"

"Positive," replied Hoshi. "This will be perfect."

"It is kind of cute, I guess," Archer allowed. "Hey, what's that noise? Is it purring?" He petted it and smiled. "Hey there, little fella. You are a cutie, aren't you?" He directed his next words to Hoshi. "And you're sure Dr. Phlox won't mind?"

"Oh, no, he says he has plenty of them," Hoshi said, trying not to think about what use Phlox actually put them to. "He says they're very easy to breed, actually."

"All right, then," said Archer. "I guess I'm set. And hopefully this time, we'll get the meeting between our two cultures off on the right foot." He looked down again at the tribble in his arms. "The Klingon High Council is absolutely going to love you."
FINIS

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