Nick is staying at Howie’s with us tonight so he doesn’t have to disturb Brian. Howie has already gone to bed and me and Nick are sitting up, watching some late night television and drinking hot tea. "What do you plan on doing with the money?" he asks.
He means the money from the sale of the house and all the property. "I don’t really know yet. There’s so much I want to do, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it."
Nick sits back and looks at me. He looks into me. He’s trying to find the answer I won’t give him. "Let’s see..." he begins slowly. "You went to school to be a chef... But you don’t really like any restaurants... Maybe would you want to open up your own?"
"Maybe." He just grins because he’s right and he knows it. Someday I will open my own restaurant, but I can’t until I get the money.
"And you‘ll name it Broadway, I know."
"How did you know?" I have always dreamed of having my own place like that; not necessarily a restaurant, but just some public place, and naming it broadway... Just like that. No capital letters, in italics, with the three dots.
"Anyway, me and Howie were talking last night..." he begins.
I interrupt. "It’s ‘Howie and I’ Nicholas," I smile. "All that grammar I taught you when you were little never sunk in, did it?"
He smiles and shakes his head. "Anyway, Howie and I were talking last night after you fell asleep. The guys know we’re back, but management doesn’t yet. We told them that we’d call as soon as we got back. We don’t plan on calling for another day or so... So would ya wanna spend some time with your little brother?"
"Sure beans, babe," I smile. How could I deny him? It’s Nick. Nick. He’s been my best friend for so long, and now he says he’s my little brother. My little brother... Well I guess it’s true... I mean, I never had a little brother so I don’t know what it feels like... but I know he loves me unconditionally like a brother would. He’s my little brother. I yawn. "Welps little brother, it’s time for me to go to bed." I stand, kiss his cheek, ruffle his hair, and drop my mug in the kitchen sink. "See ya in the mornin, hun," I say as I begin to climb the stairs.
"It is morning, Lore," he grins.
"You know what I mean," I mumble and continue my climb. "Oh yeah, first door on the left up here is all yours tonight." I slip into Howie’s room and shut the door before I hear his reply. I know it won’t be a good one. I quickly change into Howie’s nightshirt and climb into bed beside him. I feel him curl up next to me, draping an arm across my tummy. "You still up, hun?" I ask.
"I was waiting for you," he yawns.
I roll over and face him. The moonlight is coming in the window just enough for me to see him. I lightly caress his cheek. "You’re sweet."
"I know," he smiles. Another yawn. "Are you and Nick going out tomorrow?"
"As far as I know."
"Good. It’ll be good for you to," yawn, "spend time with him. I’ve monopolized you the past few days... week... time..."
I giggle. "And you’re even cuter when you’re all confused."
He goes quiet for a few moments. Yawn. "Can I have the last dance tomorrow night?"
"What last dance?" Before he answers, he’s fast asleep. I kiss his forehead. I still can’t believe that all of this is real. That this is actually my life. Howie told me he loved me and he proved it in so many ways... I mean, how many guys that you just started to date would book you a trip to see your parents and then accompany you to see their funeral? Alright, a lot might, but from Florida to Pennsylvania? If he doesn’t have any family there and the dead folks are no relation to him? Yeah, fewer. And my best friend, my "little brother" Nick. God, I don’t know how long I’ve dreamed about seeing him again. I missed him so much. He’s back in my life and we’ll be spending the day together when day breaks. He even flew to Pennsylvania to support me in my "time of sorrow." I don’t know what I did to deserve folks like this in my life, but I will gladly do it a thousand times over. (And if I do ever find out what that secret is, you readers will be the first to know.) Could this be the wonderful life there are so many movies about? I think it’s even better than that. I sigh. "I love you, Howard," I murmur, snuggle up to him, and begin to drift off to sleep.
"I love you, Delores," he murmurs.
...
Just as planned, Nick and I venture out in the morning. Granted it’s nearly noon, but we still have all day to spend together. He takes me to the Ripley’s Believe It or Not museum (he knows how I love that weird stuff) and around town, showing me around. He’s even got a girlfriend here. Her name is Cassandra. He takes me to meet her and she’s really nice. After meeting her, Nick takes me to the Titanic museum interactive type thing and he’s really interesting. We get a feel about what it was like on that ship... Completely amazing. I’m in tears at the end because it’s so sad... Nick hugs me close and holds me tight until my tears stop. I giggle eventually. "Sorry, lil bro, things just got to me."
He smiles and nods. "Perfectly alright, sis. How about dinner?"
I laugh. This boy is always hungry. He takes me to Planet Hollywood and we have a nice dinner there. Whenever I eat there, I always get the same thing: the chicken strips breaded in Cap’n Crunch cereal. It’s really good, honest. We split a dessert, have a few drinks, and just talk. We’re in a booth where not too many people see us. Of course, some fans approach us but they’re not overly "Oh My God, Nick Carter!" about it.
I know he’s been thinking about this all day and he finally asks me, "So, you and Howie really like each other, huh?"
I smile. "Yeah, I guess we do. Why?"
"You just so happen to be living in his house and sleeping in his bed..."
I kick him under the table. "That’s just to keep away my nightmares."
I know Howie thought when I said "nightmares" those first few nights I was joking, but I really wasn’t. He turns serious. "You still get those?"
"If you’ve seen what I have, you would too." Either I think about things too much, or they haunt me in dreams. If I think about them, I’m kept awake and get little to no sleep. If I don’t think about them, I dream about them, get little, restless sleep where I end up in tears.
I will give this to Nicky: One thing he learned from knowing me all these years is when to change a subject. "So, wanna go clubbin tonight or somethin?"
"Sure, babe," I smile. "I wanna get changed first, though."
"Sounds like a plan. I’ll drop you off at Howie’s and I’ll head to Brian's... and I’ll pick ya up in a half hour?"
...
Howie’s not home when I arrive, but he gave me a key a few days ago. I let myself in, change, and get ready for the night. I always enjoyed clubbing with Nick. Sure, he’s a good eight inches taller than me, but he’s fun to dance with. And for once, he’s on time. I open the door to greet him. "Damn girl, you look hot!" I smile, blush slightly, and close and lock the door. Now, if I could get that reaction out of Howie when I come home tonight... He said he wanted to see me in this outfit, the black shirt and pink leopard print skirt ensemble, so now’s his chance.
Nick gawks at my outfit for practically the whole drive to the club in Downtown Disney. A few times I have to reach over and lift his chin off his chest. It’s good to know I have this effect on people... *grin*
We arrive and Nick pays for valet parking. He offers his arm to me and we stroll to the club. He nods to the doorman and we enter. There’s not too many people here tonight. We head over to the bar. Poor Nicky’s not twenty-one yet... I give the bartender my ID and order a fuzzy navel for me and a beer for Nick. He nods in appreciation. We find a table and sit to sip our drinks. When we’re both finished, he takes my hand and leads me to the dance floor. The end of an upbeat song, "Blue Monday" by Orgy is playing. It finishes and the DJ plays a slower song, "Open Arms" by Journey. Nick pulls me close to him. I’m pressed up to his chest with my head barely on his shoulder. Before he speaks, I interrupt him. "I know, Journey’s your favorite band."
I feel him smile. "You know me too well." He kisses my temple. "I really missed you, you know that?"
"I know, Nicky, I know." I snuggle into him. I missed him more that I would miss my life if it were taken from me. We’re not so much dancing as we are just hugging one another tightly and swaying to the music. I hold him tight. I missed him so much it hurt.
...
"...So now I come to you
with open arms,
nothing to hide,
believe all I say.
So here I am,
with open arms,
hoping you’ll see
what your love means to me,
open arms..."*
...
He sings the last chorus to me softly. I never could hide anything from him successfully... He always found out one way or another. Just like I know he’ll find out about me visiting my parents and getting beaten by my father... But now’s not the time nor the place. And what do I mean by those last few statements? Nick knows that I love him dearly, but I never told him how much he really means to me, what his friendship through all those years has meant to me. But he knows. Somehow or another, he always knows.
I feel Nick lift his head and nod. The song ends and we break apart. "Thank you, Nicky."
"Anything for you, babe," he kisses my forehead.
Another fast song begins. There’s a tap on my shoulder. I turn and smile. "May I cut in?" he asks. I only smile at him. Nick nods again and returns to the table where the rest of the Boys are stationed. Cassandra has just arrived and they are off on the floor before Nick is even close to the table. "So I finally get to see you in this outfit..." he grins. "Very, very nice, my dear." He bends, takes my hand, and kisses it gently. His eyes never leave mine.
"Oh Howard," I giggle and stand him up straight. I recognize this song and grin. "Try to keep up," I warn. It’s an older song, made famous by the movie Dirty Dancing. It’s called "Do You Love Me?" Goofy song, I know, but this should be fun. Howie gets a feel for the beat and trust me, our dancing... Well, let’s just say that a bar of soap and a loofah couldn’t clean it... Describe, you ask? Alright, in the scene in Dirty Dancing where Baby is carrying the watermelon into the dancer’s place and all of the folks were just kinda... dancing... and this song was playing... Yeah, you get my drift. If some of y’all are too young to remember the movie, I highly recommend it... Ooh, Patrick Swayze... *drool*
But I’m getting off topic. It’s about three-quarters of the way though the song and everyone is staring at us. The usual "Wow, look at those two!" and "I can’t believe they’re doing that..." looks I’m so used to. So the song ends. They continue to stare... Howie winks at me. "Let’s give them something to really stare at," he whispers in my ear. Whisper is the wrong word, I know, because it’s too loud in here, but you get the point. I just grin at him. He leans in and gives me a hot, passionate kiss. Oh dear God in Heaven this feels divine! My hands move from his shoulders (I guess you need to know the movie to get how we were dancing) to the back of his head, pulling him closer to me, grinding my lips against his. I tangle my hands in his hair and I’m rewarded by a soft moan from him. I don’t so much hear this as I feel it. But of course, Nicky breaks it up by poking me.
"How about you two come up for air sometime?"
I stick my tongue out at him. "I can breathe just fine through my nose, than you." He groans and shakes his head. Howie just smiles... Nick and Cass go off dancing once again. Howie takes my hand and leads me back to the table. The guys just look at us as we sit down.
I sit next to AJ and he just grins. "I told ya so," he whispers and nudges me. Yeah, so he told me that Howie really liked me. I knew it all along.
* "Open Arms" by Journey.
