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Tim's Page O' Stuff

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Previous Update May 7, 2001

Updated on March 18, 2002 (The cynical ranting early life crisis update)

I am freakin depressed. I don't know why (well, I do, but I can't bring myself to trust anyone enough to tell them). I don't eat well or on a regular basis, I can barely sleep, and when I do, I can't dream, and I've started smoking like the world's going to end tommorow and nicotine is the stairway to heaven. What the hell is happening to me? I think I'm going insane. The world seems distant, unfamiliar and unreal. Like I'm living a dream. It's like when you're dreaming and your mind tells you that it's not real, but it feels so real, but exactally the opposite. My brain is telling me that it's real, but everything seems fake. I know it's there but somehow I think it's not actually there. Like walking down a long dark tunnel. There's a light at the end, but the further and faster you walk towards it, the farther away it seems. I don't know how I'm going to break out of this vicious cycle without my world comming crashing down around me. Someone please help me. Have you ever just had one of those years where nothing seems good. Welcome to my life. Hopefully it will turn around sometime. I turn 21 on April 2, so maybe that will be the turning point. I freakin hope so. There's a way out of this, and I know what it is. I just don't know how to make it happen. Am I crazy, or is this how everyone's life is?

As you may have guessed by the title, my name is Tim. I'm originally from Baton Rouge, Louisiana (no, I'm not a redneck or a hick or cajun and I don't have an accent. I'm actually a very civilized and intellectual person, despite what you may have heard about people from the American South.). I'm single at the moment (not by choice) and I'm a hopeless romantic (but aparently women aren't interested in doing romantic things). I like to listen to the Dave Matthews Band, and music of that type (I'm might be listening to DMB as you read this. You never know). I play racquetball, golf, tennis, basketball, and disc golf among other sports. I've been slacking off on playing sports recently, but over the summer I'm going to get back into the habit as soon as I can find some people to play with.

I had an old webpage, but I never worked on it and it was really horrible, so I decided to start from scratch and make a new page where I could express my feelings and kind of get things off my chest. I'm always here to listen to any of my friend's problems whenever they need me. If you have AOL or AOL insta-messenger, my screen name is DaveMathewsBnd1 and my ICQ # is 64740981. If you have any questions, need to talk to me (or just need someone to talk to), just want to say hi, feel free to insta-message me or E-Mail me. Enjoy the rest of the page and sign the guestbook.

Well, the part about getting a new poem posted every week kinda didn’t work. Writing this stuff is harder than you probably think it is. Help Me Out!! If you want me to post one of your poems to get some content on the page, E-Mail it to me in the form you want it (that includes color name and font name submitted with it).

I’ve made some new friends over the past few years since my little adventure in college, and I’ve lost contact with some old ones (and destroyed a long-standing friendship through a misdirected fit of anger, but I've begun to patch that up. I don't like losing good friends). But, hey, what can you do? You learn from your mistakes and life goes on.

I packed up to move into my new house with some friends December 31, 2001 and I found 2 old poems. They are the 1st 2 that I ever wrote. I also just put up 2 that I wrote during this depressing time. Take a look and tell me what you think.

Inner Turmoil

  • i fear for my health every day
  • lurking looking cringing bleeding
  • there is always something there
  • danger in front
  • danger behind
  • i fear for my mind every hour of every day
  • fleeing fighting sulking crying
  • is something there
  • it knows what i think
  • it knows all my thoughts
  • i fear for my soul every minute of every hour of every day
  • feeling seeing decieving expiring
  • yet nothing is there
  • evil all around
  • evil deep within
  • i fear for my life every second of every minute of every hour of every day
  • running hiding screaming dying
  • one step ahead
  • one step behind
  • what is there
  • only me

timothy k magee

march 6 2002

A Message To The World

  • I can hold the DAEMONS back no longer.
  • Every day they grow stronger and stronger.
  • Full of my rage and hatred for life.
  • They breed and feed on my endless strife.
  • Growing stronger day by day.
  • Very soon they'll have their way.
  • Then this world we know will be forever changed.
  • The DAEMONS will be freed and togeather they will have raged.
  • Cursing the land and the people within.
  • Now way out and only one way to end.
  • I must regain controll of the DAEMONS inside.
  • Give them nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.
  • It must be done alone and here I make my stand.
  • No one can help for no one would understand,
  • This is the most difficult thing I will ever do.
  • But it must be done and for all of you.
  • As I step forth to face what I have created.
  • I know if I win all will be celebrated.
  • I know that I may be consumed for the DAEMONS are sly.
  • So I wish you all the best as I say my final goodbye.

Timothy K. Magee

March 17, 2002

This is one of my all-time favorites.

The Worlds Last Barman Poet

  • I see America drinking
  • The fabulous cocktails I make.
  • America’s getting drunk
  • On something I stir or shake.
  • The Sex on the Beach
  • The Schnapps made from peach
  • The Golden Hammer
  • The Alabama Slammer
  • I make things from juice and froth
  • The Pink Squirrel, the 3 Toed Sloth.
  • I make drinks so sweet and snazzy
  • The Iced Tea, the Kamikaze.
  • The Orgasm
  • The Death Spasm
  • The Singapore Sling
  • The Ding-a-ling
  • America, you’re just devoted
  • To every flavor I’ve got.
  • But if you want to get loaded
  • Why don’t you just order a shot.
Tom Cruse as "Brian Flanagan"

From the motion picture "COCKTAIL"

This is my 1st poem. It’s long, but hang in there.

Existence

  • Why was I cursed with this great strife,
  • Which everybody else calls life?
  • A single tear rolls from my eye,
  • Please don’t ask, I know not why.
  • No, No. Don’t go.
  • I beg, Please stay.
  • Do not leave me alone this way.
  • Rarely am I in great bliss,
  • Living in endless nothingness.
  • No one loves me,
  • No one cares.
  • I would be forgot,
  • For I have no heirs.
  • They just look and walk away,
  • And I might hear someone say,
  • ”Why should I help him?
  • Though he looks sad,
  • He won’t ask for help,
  • So it must not be bad.
  • Someone else will come to help him,
  • It isn’t my place, I do not know him.”
  • Then I laugh,
  • So I don’t cry.
  • It’s very complex,
  • You wouldn’t understand why.
  • I must leave now.
  • I can’t say why.
  • All I can do is tell you goodbye.
  • Don’t try to stop me,
  • Don’t even bother.
  • My only wish,
  • Is to be with my Father.
  • When I am hurt,
  • Everyone just stares.
  • Only my Father in Heaven cares.
  • So with my last breath,
  • Before I die.
  • I say to you,
  • Farewell and Goodbye.
  • Now from Heaven,
  • High above.
  • I am watching you,
  • Find true love.
  • That which I never found,
  • When I was with you,
  • Upon the ground.
  • May life grant you peace and love,
  • As I protect you from Heaven above.
Timothy K. Magee

February 22, 1997

For My Dearest

  • From a land so far away
  • From a time so long past
  • I found this place and here I stay
  • To search for true love in my own way
  • Like a ship with sturdy mast
  • Or a tower with steadfast brick
  • I searched across this land so vast
  • Until, my dear, I found you at last.
  • If we were separated by the widest lake
  • If I had no ship with which to get to thee
  • I would swim across through the toughest ache
  • When I reach you, painlessness I would fake.
  • Neither the largest void or the tallest tree
  • The longest night or shortest day
  • Poison of a snake or sting of a bee
  • Will keep our love from being free.
  • Now I lay thee down to sleep
  • I pray the Lord thine soul to keep.
  • If thou should die before I wake
  • I pray the lord my life to take.
  • For without you I do not want to live
  • For you my life I would give
  • I will not punch, kick, bite, or shove
  • But I will do all else to have your love.
Timothy K. Magee

March 3, 1999

This poem is about my experiences of my semester at USM in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

The Mistake

  • I though it would be nice to get away for a while.
  • I'd see everyone before I left and leave them with a smile.
  • The day finally came to move to my new home.
  • I thought when I arrived, around the campus I'd roam.
  • I thought I 'd be happy in this strange new place.
  • Instaed I felt a void, something missing, and a sadness upon my face.
  • I realized that that my friends, I didn't really want to leave.
  • With the thought of being on my own, myself did I deceive.
  • I have been nothing but miserable for these four months that have passed.
  • But now it's time to return home for good at last.
  • I've missed hangin out with my friends these past few months.
  • I've missed Karl's sense of humor, and Nathan's childish stunts.
  • I've missed the the new friendship I have with the Kims.
  • And there's the people at work...I've missed talking to them.
  • I've missed chatting with Garrick about what's going on.
  • I've missed going to eat after work and hearing the Waffle House song.
  • I've missed doing stuff with Sarah and Gabby.
  • I've missed going to work. My job wasn't too shabby.
  • I've missed most everything about the city I'm from.
  • I've missed just hangin out with everyone, no matter how dumb.
  • Soon it will all be over and and a better life I'll make
  • And then I'll forget about this, cause it was all a big "MISTAKE"
Timothy K. Magee

December 16, 1999

Unseen Love

  • The gleam in her eyes,
  • Her skin soft and fair,
  • The way she walks into the room,
  • Her perfume fills the air.
  • God I love her so deeply,
  • Looking at her standing there.
  • God I want her so badly ,
  • She doesn't even know that I care.
  • She's never gonna like me,
  • At least not in that way.
  • If only she could see the real me,
  • Even if only for one day.
  • The day will soon come when
  • I'll ask her for a date,
  • But for now I think I'll just sit back,
  • Hide my feelings, and wait.

Timothy K. Magee

October 12, 1999

A Poem For The Stewart Children May God Be With You...

Dixiegirl26

October 26, 1999

This is one of my better poems. It has a really deep meaning.

Window to the Soul

Timothy K. Magee

October 6, 1999

I wrote this one for my girlfriend a long time ago. It was her favorite of all my work.

Lovers Bedtime Prayer

Timothy K. Magee

February 2, 1998

Go To These Places

Dave Matthews Band Official Homepage
Themes Unlimited
Hattiesburg Apartments ! (Lookin for a place to live in Hattiesburg, this is the place to look.)
Dangerous Hours (The best DMB page I've seen yet.)
USM Go Eagles!!
Baton Rouge High (My old School)
Theme World
Bug A local Band From Baton Rouge. I graduated with some of them. (broken up)
Spork, Utensil of the gods.
Karl's page. (Hasnt been updated recently)
Bombay Company's Online Catalog
Angelfire (Get your free website here. Put a link to my page on yours if you do.)
AOL (Download AOL insta - messanger so you can talk to me when I'm online.)
LSU (Louisiana State University)
Wendy's World (A page I built for a friend of mine.)


Email: davemathewsbnd1@aol.com