15 REASONS WHY MIKE IS BETTER THAN AUSTIN
1. Mike is successful, Austin doesnt even go to work
2. Mike is gorgeous, Austin is butt ugly
3. Austin has skanks who he calls family while Mike is a Horton
4. Mike doesnt have belly-button hair
5. Mike can speak in full sentences while Austin can barely manage to walk and talk at the same time
6. Mike is smart; Austin has a monkeys level of intelligence
7. Carrie can hug Mike without having to worry about his muscles popping
8. Mike can kiss better
9. Mike doesnt stare blankly like the monkey man does
10. Mike doesnt kiss Sami's ass
11. Mike didnt make his son dumb and mute
12. Mike went to med school
13. Mikes sister and mother arent gutter trash
14. Mike has a brain unlike someone we know
15. Carrie doesnt have to crane her neck to look at Mike
WRITTEN BY CLARE a.k.a VODKA
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Email: lemonrusky@hotmail.com
