THE FIRE WITHIN
Chapter Fourteen

Christa was furious when they told her the ships would not be able to sail anywhere until the riots were over with. It had been two days, and she didn't want to stay in New York. She wanted her baby back. Amsterdam knew that she missed the baby so much, but he wasn't able to help her accomplish that. He felt useless. The day after the riots, they lined bodies along the dimly lit streets and put candles beside them. He saw a lot of familiar faces that night. Some he would miss always. He hadn't seen Jenny. He wondered if she had made it out. He hadn't seen her since she had said she was leaving.

Christa cried silently in the dark. She wanted to see her baby boy.

"Christa?" Amsterdam woke from his sleep.

"Sorry. I woke you again." She wiped her tears as she looked at him.

"It's all right. I understand that you miss Michael. Come on. Get some sleep, and tomorrow we will go and get our baby. I promise, even if we have to stow away on some ship." He brought her close to him as he lay back down.

"All right. I will get some sleep, then." She dreamt of going to Kerry and seeing her baby, all grown up in Tommy's arms. She smiled, ran into Michael's arms, and held him so tight.

*****

The next day, all Amsterdam could think about was Michael. They had both gone to the docks in the early morning. Amsterdam asked around, seeing if anyone was going to Kerry. Luckily, they had found a ship, although it had come with one minor problem. In order for them to be aboard, Christa had to cook their meals and Amsterdam had to work with the men on the ship. Amsterdam was grateful for this. They didn't even have to pay, which was good. Christa, on the other hand, was a terrible cook.

Christa looked at all the men staring at her. She looked down, feeling as though they were pitying her. She looked them straight in the eyes, knowing what these men longed for. Hell, every man did when he was out to sea for a long time. She stood bravely before them. "All right, men, what would you like to eat today?"

"Well, the cook gives us the basics--fish, potatoes, and bread." One man raised his hand.

"All right. Well, whatever you catch, I will cook up. How's that?" Christa asked, looking at the crew.

"Great," most of them said.

The men looked at her with desire. She smiled at each of them. Amsterdam, on the other hand, was working down in the cargo area. Christa looked for the pans and other things she would need for cooking their meal. One man came in and looked at her. "Miss?"

"Oh, you startled me." She turned around, seeing a man.

"Sorry. I wanted to put in a request for the meal." He looked at her.

"All right. What do you have in mind?" She tried not to be afraid. She was a Cutting, for crying out loud. She shouldn't be scared.

"Do you know how to bake a peach cobbler?" William had craved it since he had left home. His mother had always baked a pie for him when he came home. But it had been so long since he had seen land that he was starting to feel homesick.

"No, but I can try." She told him the truth.

"Great. Thanks." He smiled and was grateful for whatever she came up with.

"Call me Christa," she said, trying to make friendly conversation.

"Sure, Christa. Can I ask you a personal question?" He was curious.

"Sure." She waited for him to ask her the question.

"Why are you onboard this ship?" he asked as he sat down and took a break.

"I'm going home. I have to get home," she told him.

"And this man you’re with?" He was curious as to whether she was fair game or not.

"My husband," she lied to him. But in all honesty, it was partly the truth. Amsterdam had stayed with her and their baby, so she figured he would ask her sometime down the road.

"I thought so. You look mighty pretty." He gave her a compliment and smiled.

"Why, thank you. What's your name?" she asked, since he was polite.

"William." He took off his hat and greeted her.

"Thanks, William. Can I ask you a question?" She stepped back and leaned against the counter.

"Sure." He took out a pipe.

"It's kind of personal." She wondered if she was asking the wrong question. "Have any of you been home to have a break?" She looked up as she heard noise above her, wondering what was going on up there.

"No, Ma'am. None of us." He knew what she was hinting at.

"Then I should be careful, shouldn't I?" She grinned.

"Careful of what?" He wanted to see if she was asking what he thought she was asking.

"Well, you know men who are out to sea for so long without a companion." She spelled it out for him.

"Ah…I get ya." It began to make sense. He hadn't had a women since a year before he had left. He tried not to think of it as much, so as soon as he got home he would get laid as much as he wanted.

"Yeah. Do I need to be worried?" she asked.

"Nah. I don't think so. Most of us are gentlemen." He knew he was a gentleman, but it was hard to say about the others.

"I hope so." She began to think about putting her hair up.

"The captain always has first pick, anyways," he said, walking out of the kitchen area.

"Oh, okay. Thanks." It wasn't what she wanted to hear, but it was better than nothing. She hadn't even met the captain yet.

After her conversation with William, she began to feel better. She moved the hair out of her face and tied it with a ribbon she had on her dress. She looked at the cookbook and leaned over the counter to get a pan. The ship was starting to get to her, so she went up on deck and got some fresh air. She hadn't seen Amsterdam since they had set sail that morning. She looked down at the beautiful water below.

"You don't wanna fall in, do you?" Amsterdam came up behind her.

"Amsterdam! It's so good to see you. Have you been working hard?" She was curious to hear about his day.

"Yeah. I'm a little dirty." His shirt was covered with soot, and his hair was darker than before they had left.

"Want me to clean you up?" She smiled wickedly.

"Later. I just wanted to see how you were doing." He was worried about her.

"I'm fine. The men have been on their best behavior." She held his hand. It was covered with black coal dust.

"That's good, my love. Well, I have to get back to work. See ya tonight." Amsterdam walked slowly down to the ship's hull. He had been shoveling coal since they had left port. He was tired, but he couldn't wait to get home.

"Okay. Bye." She frowned, not wanting to see him go.

"Hey, what's the word on that girl?" one of the men asked.

"She's married to that fellow she came aboard with," William spoke up.

"Do you think she would be interested in a little partying?" He winked.

"I don't think so. She looks familiar--can't quite place her." William knew she looked familiar for some reason.

"Familiar how?" Kenneth asked.

"She reminds me of that Bill the Butcher." William had seen a man named Bill a few months before when they had docked in New York.

"Why him?" Kenneth took a cigarette out of his pocket.

"Don't know." William looked at her. She was pretty, but the features of Bill shone like the light of day.

"What about this Amsterdam character?" Kenneth took a match out of his pocket and looked over at Christa as she bent over and began to vomit into the sea.

"Word is he's the leader of the Dead Rabbits," a man covered in black began to say as he washed himself up.

"No way." Kenneth was surprised.

"Yeah," John said as he poured water over himself.

"I wouldn't wanna mess with him." Kenneth knew who they were now. He had known the gangs of New York.

"Me, either. The girl's off limits. Spread the word," William said.

"I will," Kenneth said.

That day, a rumor began aboard the ship Christa heard them whispering around her. She didn't know what was going on, and she didn't care. She just wanted to get home. Christa cooked their meal. Everyone liked it. No one said a word saying it was bad. She smiled and was happy that everyone was satisfied. At night, she sat on the bow of the ship, looking up at the stars. She started to hum a tune. It was Unconstant Lover.

Oh, it's meetings a pleasure and it's parting a grieve

And an unconstant lover is worse not a thief

For the thief he will rob you and just steal what you have

But an unconstant lover will follow you to your grave

For the thief he will rob you and just steal what you have

But an unconstant lover will follow you to your grave.

She had heard it in New York, looking at the men who were going to war. When the draft came, it only got worse. She remembered the bombs flying. People had been bloody and there had been cries. Everyone had scattered. She began to cry, remembering all the bodies lining the streets. It had gone on for miles.

"Miss, are you all right?" William sat beside her.

"I'm fine." She wiped the tears away.

"You know, there's a rumor on the ship that you are related to Bill the Butcher," he said, wondering if it was true.

"I am. How did anyone know?" She looked around her.

"You’ve got his features, Miss," he said plainly, looking up at the stars.

"Jesus, I wouldn't have thought so. Does everyone know?" She felt invaded that everyone knew she was related to a monster.

"Pretty much. So, if your family is a part of the Natives, why are you with a Dead Rabbit?" He glanced at her.

"It's a long story." She didn't really want to talk about it.

"I’ve got time. We still have a few more days before we reach Kerry." He wanted to hear her story.

"Well, to make it simple, my uncle and I had a falling out. You see, my mother told me that I had an uncle on her deathbed. I worked for a while to collect the money I needed to get to New York. When I got there, I bumped into Amsterdam. He brought me to a place so I could sleep somewhere nice. Then he brought me to my uncle. I had no idea who he was at the time, until he said his name. But by then, it was too late. I was in love with Amsterdam. I had no idea who Amsterdam was until my uncle got hold of me, cut me several times, and pulled out my hair by the roots. When I got better, I confronted him. All he could say was he didn't need me or want me, saying that my mother had betrayed him. So, after that, I hated him with as much hate as anyone could hate a person. When I found out I was pregnant, Amsterdam and I tried to keep it a secret, and we did for quite a while. When I found out that Amsterdam had cheated on me, I went to my uncle for comfort. He gave me a place and everything. The only thing he failed to tell me was that he was giving my child away, so I wrote Amsterdam a letter, and the next day we agreed to send it to Kerry. That's where we’re headed--to go get him."

"Wow! What a story." William was impressed by her journey.

"Yeah. If you don’t mind, I am kind of tired." She started to yawn.

"Sure. Good night, and thanks for the meal. It's the best I’ve had since I left home." He thanked her.

"You’re welcome. Good night." When Christa got to her bunk, she fell asleep right away.

*****

Amsterdam smoked a cigarette that he had bummed off one of the crew. He looked out into the night and felt the breeze hit his face. He reached out and yawned. He went to where he and Christa would be sleeping. When he got there, she was asleep. He curled up against her, savoring the sweet scent of her hair, and thinking of Michael and their long way home.

Chapter Fifteen
Stories