AN UNFORGETTABLE JOURNEY
Chapter Twenty-One
Rose awoke in a sweat, her breath coming in
small gasps. She couldn’t get the image of Jack’s face out of her mind. She
could still see it so clearly in her mind. His blue, cold lips, fading away
from her as she watched him leave her world forever. She had let him go. Into
the water, into the icy cold water.
Rose shook her head, trying to clear her mind
of these images. It had been a little over a week since she had gotten off of
the Carpathia, but it seemed to her that she had already had a thousand
nightmares. She couldn’t escape them. She cuddled under her blankets, trying to
rid herself of the cold sensation that always came over her body after a
nightmare. The morning sun was just about to rise. She knew that she had to get
ready for work soon.
After arriving in New York, she had found a
room to rent. Mrs. Strouter had taken her in immediately. Rose was sure that
she had looked a mess. Thank goodness for the money that I found in Cal’s
coat, she thought to herself. But she knew that she couldn’t live on four
hundred dollars for the rest of her life. And there was no way that she could
sell the diamond. Something inside of her made her keep it. Luckily, one of her
housemates had helped her get a job in a small clothing boutique down the
street. Rose didn’t know what she would have done without the kindness of both
Mrs. Strouter and Renee. Renee also worked in the boutique; they had become
fast friends since Rose had moved in.
Rose sighed before getting out of bed. She
was still trying to adjust to going to work. After all, she had a new life. She
was no longer Rose DeWitt Bukater. She was Rose Dawson, a working woman…a free
woman! And she had Jack to thank for her freedom. But her heart ached at just
the thought of him. She missed him so much that it hurt. How can I live
without you, Jack? But she knew that she had to try. She had promised him. "I’ll
never let go, Jack. I’ll never let go." Those words often rang through
her ears. It was her promise to him. She would never let go of that promise.
She had told him so that night. A tear slid down her cheek. She felt weak, both
physically and emotionally.
After dressing in one of her new, simple
dresses she went downstairs to eat breakfast. Mrs. Strouter usually cooked
breakfast, which was her favorite meal. The rest of the housemates took turns
cooking dinner. Rose had needed help at first, a lot of help. She hadn't had
much experience in the kitchen, but she was a fast learner. Now she enjoyed
cooking, although she still had a lot to learn.
"Good morning, Rose. Did you sleep
well?" Mrs. Strouter asked pleasantly.
Rose smiled at the older woman. She was in
her mid-thirties. "Yes, I slept well," Rose lied. She didn’t want to
bother her with her nightmares.
"Well, I’m glad to hear that. I hope
you’re hungry. I’ve cooked up a big breakfast this morning."
Rose felt her stomach rumble. She hadn't been
eating much lately. Her heart ached too much. She was constantly thinking about
Jack and what could have been.
She thought back to the night when she had
first found this place. After Mrs. Strouter had brought her in, she had gone to
her new room. Throwing herself down on the unfamiliar bed, she had finally
cried for the first time since she had let Jack go into the icy water. She had
stuffed her head into her pillow, trying to quiet her uncontrollable sobs. But
it hadn't worked; Renee had heard her from the next room. "Are you
okay?" Renee had asked softly. They had become friends that night.
Rose had told her about Titanic. In her despair, she had told her everything.
Renee had been sympathetic and understanding. Rose was grateful to have found a
friend. She knew that she needed one badly.
"Are you okay, Rose?" Mrs. Strouter
asked, concern evident on her kind face.
Rose snapped out of her thoughts. "Oh,
yes. I'm just tired, I guess," Rose replied absentmindedly.
"You probably need something to eat,
dear. You haven't eaten much since you’ve been here."
Rose watched as a plate was set in front of
her. It was loaded with bacon, eggs, and toast. Rose started to eat, although
her thoughts had made her less hungry. She forced the food down anyway. She
knew that Mrs. Strouter was right. She did need to eat.
"So, how do you like your new job?"
Mrs. Strouter asked as she sat down across from her. The others hadn't come
down to eat yet.
"I like it. It makes it easier having
Renee there with me, though. I haven't had much work experience." Rose
wished she hadn't told her that part. She didn’t want anyone to know
about her rich upbringing. Renee was the only one that knew the truth about
her, although she suspected that the others could tell by her cooking skills.
Just then, Bryan Winston entered the kitchen.
He smiled when he saw Rose. "How are you this morning?" he said as he
made himself a plate piled high with food.
"I'm fine. I have another big day at
work," she replied.
He sat down next to her. His brown eyes gazed
into hers. She knew that he was interested in her. He had already asked her out
for a picnic. But she wasn’t ready to get involved with anyone; her love for
Jack would never go away. Soon after, Renee and Will Anderson joined them for
breakfast. Will was an older man. He was in his mid-fifties. He had been
renting a room in Mrs. Strouter’s house for five years. He had known Mrs.
Strouter's husband, who had passed away two years before.
Rose let the conversation at the table drift
to the back of her mind. Again, her thoughts returned to Jack. His smile, his
eyes, his gentle voice. He was always in her thoughts. Why did he have to
die? We were going to spend a lifetime together. The questions haunted her.
She knew they would haunt her forever.
Everyone finally finished their breakfast.
The house cleared out as everyone left for work, or whatever it was that they
had planned for the day. Rose walked to work alone that day; Renee had the day
off. The silent walk to work left her alone with her thoughts. Her
heart-wrenching thoughts of Jack. She would never forget his face. She
remembered the passion in his eyes when he had made love to her in the Renault.
How can I go on without you, Jack? All I want to do is die, and then we
could be together forever. She tried to shake the thoughts from her mind as
she continued on to her new work…to her new life.