SURVIVING
Chapter Six
Rose lay in the dark room, staring up at the
ceiling. Sadness and regret filled her as she thought about her mother in the
concentration camp. Being worked to death…or worse. She’d heard horror stories
about Auschwitz. Surely they were only fairy tales, or so she’d been told. But
still, all fairy tales came from a place of truth. She sighed, and looked away
from the ceiling. It was her fault. She knew that. If she had just gone ahead
and married Cal, everything would be fine. Her mother would be free and she
would have been…miserable. Rose wondered why she couldn’t have a happy life
without all the nasty consequences like everyone else. Why did she have to
suffer? Why must someone have to pay for her happiness?
"Rose?" Emma Jean knocked on the
door, her voice full of concern. "Can I come in?"
"Okay." Rose sighed. She really
didn’t want any company, but she didn’t want to seem rude, either. The Dawsons
had been so kind to her, accepting her into their lives with open arms and
accepting her love for Jack. They were good people.
"Honey, do you want to talk about it? It
may help." Emma Jean sat next to Rose, her eyes full of sympathy. "It
helped Jack."
"I’m not Jack, Emma. He could never have
done what I did to my mother."
Emma frowned. What did Rose have to do with
her mother being sent to one of those awful camps she’d heard so much about?
"Rose…I don’t understand."
Rose sighed. "Well…you already know that
my father was Jewish…right? Well, my mother didn’t. She was furious when she
found out. She then arranged an engagement between Caledon Hockley and myself…a
soon to be Nazi soldier. I didn’t want to marry him and I told her so. But you
see…my mother is a cold, hard woman. She ruled that house with an iron fist.
She wasn’t above using threats to get what she wanted. So she threatened me,
told me to marry Cal or she would send me to Auschwitz."
"She sounds like a pretty horrible woman
to me."
"She was. But she was my mother. All I
ever wanted was for her to love me. But nothing I did was ever good enough.
After everything she’d done to me…I still love her and I’m sorry that she’s in
that camp while I’m here in America, as free as a bird."
"But Rose, you shouldn’t be sorry. Ruth
was a horrible woman. She was a bully. She had already tried to send you to
that exact same camp she’s in now. If Jack hadn’t saved you when he did…it
would be you in there right now."
"I know. I know all of this. But she’s
my mother!" Rose burst into tears.
"Rose?" Jack entered the room with
a bouquet of red roses. He was dismayed to find Rose crying like this. He
wished that he could do something to make her feel happy again. "Rose,
what’s wrong? Hey, look. I’ve brought you some roses. They’re freshly picked
from Mrs. Meyer’s garden. She thought that these beautiful roses would be
perfect for my beautiful Rose."
He held the flowers out to her, hoping that
they would stop her tears and bring her smile back. "Hey, I have a plan.
Why don’t we go out tonight? Take our minds off of everything."
Rose looked at Jack, her misery spilling out
in tears. She wondered when he was going to open his eyes and see the horrible
girl that she really was. When was he going to leave her? Soon, probably. He
deserved someone wonderful. Not someone responsible for her own mother being
put away. "Not tonight, Jack. I’m not up to it. Maybe some other
time." Rose got up and headed for the door. "I’ll be back. I’m going
to take a walk to the lake."
When she was gone, Jack sank down to the bed,
burying his head in his hands, his worry for Rose consuming him. He was at a
loss as to how to cheer her up, how to clear away the dark clouds that had
suddenly crowded in on her.
"What’s wrong?" Emma Jean asked,
touching Jack’s shoulder. She didn’t like seeing Jack like this. So…so
hopeless.
"I’m worried about her, Emmy. She’s
taking this so hard. She’s been through so much already. She really didn’t need
this. Why? Why can’t they just let her be happy?"
"Shh, Jack. She is happy. She’s just in
shock right now. Her mother was just sent to a camp. It’s quite a blow."
"Damn Ruth DeWitt Bukater. She doesn’t
deserve any of Rose’s tears. Not even a drop."
Emma Jean sighed, getting to her feet. Only
one thing was going to make her cousin feel better, and obviously, she was
going to have to point it out to him. "Go after her, Jack. She needs you
right now. Go be with her."
Jack looked at his cousin, remembering how
wise he had though she was when he had once visited with his father.
"You’re right. Uh…thank you for the advice."
Emma Jean just smiled, watching him rush out
the door on his way to the lake to meet and talk to Rose. Ah, to be young and
in love.
*****
Jack found Rose sitting on the bank of Lake
Wissota, totally involved in her own world as she stared off into the depths of
the lake before her.
"Ruth would have hated it here."
Rose began talking, sensing Jack’s presence behind her. She knew he would come
after her. He wouldn’t have been her Jack if he hadn’t.
Jack sat beside her, not really knowing what
to say. What could he say? He was sorry that Ruth had gotten her just desserts
after what she had tried to do to Rose? Well, he couldn’t say that. It would be
like asking Rose to forgive his mother for allowing her boyfriend to beat him.
"Do you want to tell me about her? What she was like before the
Nazis?"
Rose looked at him curiously, the tears
drying from her eyes. "Do you really want to hear this?"
Jack nodded. "I wouldn’t have asked if I
didn’t."
Rose smiled sheepishly before going into her
story. Jack was truly a wonderful man. She fell more and more in love with him
each and every day. "Ruth DeWitt Bukater was never a warm person. She was
cold to both my father and me. She ruled over the both of us with an iron fist.
She made my father work constantly to keep us in the lap of luxury, and as for
me…I was never allowed to go out and play with the other kids. She was to busy
trying to make me into miniature version of herself…which didn’t work. She
hated me for that. When it became obvious that I couldn’t be the person she
wanted me to be, she started the name-calling and snide remarks. She was never
going to love me. That was painfully clear. Nothing I did was ever good enough
for her. Even agreeing to marry Cal wasn’t good enough."
Jack wrapped a secure arm around Rose. He was
thankful that he had gotten Rose away from that horrible woman when he did.
Ruth was a monster and deserved what she had gotten.
"Jack…why do I feel so guilty? She
treated me horribly. I should hate her. I should be glad that she’s suffering
the very fate that she had in mind for me. But I’m not. Jack, I feel so bad
about what I’ve done! She’s my mother…I shouldn’t have been so selfish."
Rose buried her head in her trembling hands, her sobs shaking her body.
"Rose, you weren’t selfish. It’s her.
She was the selfish one. She wanted you to marry Cal for her own gain. But her
plan backfired, and now she is paying the price for her greed. But you,
Rose…you are kind and giving. You deserve all the happiness that our life here
in America has to offer."
"But Jack…I have no idea if my decision
was the right one. I feel…so mixed up inside."
"Oh, Rose." Jack pulled her close
in a warm embrace. "This was the right decision. It saved both of our
lives."
"Both of ours?" Rose looked at him,
confused. Jack had been set. He would have gotten out, no matter what. He
hadn’t needed Rose. In fact, she was extra baggage.
Jack smiled sheepishly. "You don’t
really think I would have left Germany without you, do you? Why, the thought of
that…it’s inconceivable."
"Jack…I…" She wanted to tell him
that he was the best thing that had ever happened to her. But she couldn’t seem
to form the words.
Smiling, Jack pressed a finger against her
lips. "Our life, Rose…it’s going to get better from here on out. We’ll
soon be married and we’ll have a beautiful life here in America."
Looking into his eyes, Rose knew that every
word Jack had said was true. Sure, they were both sad when they first arrived
in this strange country, but now the dark clouds were clearing and she could
see the bright future in store for them both. Wiping away her remaining tears,
Rose leaned against Jack, wanting to start their future as soon as possible.