A STORYBOOK ROMANCE
Epilogue
February 1916
The air was cool against her skin and she
leaned closer to him, hugging his safe form tightly. They rocked together to
the movements of the horse. Rose closed her eyes gently, relaxing into him.
They rode into the sunset, without words, just riding.
Eventually, Jack pulled the horse to a stop
and for a moment, they sat silently together, safe against the troubles of the
world.
"Why can't I be like you, Jack? Just
head out for the horizon whenever I feel like it. Say we'll go there,
sometime…to that pier…even if we only ever just talk about it."
"No, we'll do it. We'll drink cheap
beer, we'll ride on the roller coaster till we throw up and then we'll ride
horses on the beach, right in the surf, now, but you'll have to do it like a
real cowboy, none of that side-saddle stuff."
The voices from nearly four years ago echoed
in Rose's mind and she looked down, clasping her hands together tightly in her
lap. The dull ache pulled inside her and she squeezed her eyes shut, biting her
lip as she drew a deep breath, then, looked up at him again.
His eyes were understanding and dark with his
own sadness.
"I know, Rose, I know, come here,
don't…don't keep it inside…"
His whispering voice, like so many times
before, managed to make her smile and she leaned into his arms again, reaching
up to his face, meeting his lips with hers. She felt his lips part hers
reluctantly. Closing her eyes, she let him and breathed hard as the kiss
deepened. Possessively, his arms closed around her and she let herself drown in
his hug, once more.
*****
Elizabeth was born in the autumn of 1912, to
Rose and Jack Dawson. Jack never treated her any differently than he would have
with his own child and Rose could ask for no more. There was only one cloud on
their sky. Elizabeth had never been strong, she was sickly, pale, couldn't play
with the other children. The doctors muttered something about a heart
condition. Nothing they could fix, no matter how many times Rose screamed at
them, begged them for hope. There was none.
They did what they could for her, played with
her, laughed, even though their marriage hit its bumps and with a love just a
little bit weaker than theirs, it would have ended badly. Rose refused to have
any more children and Jack accepted that. They lived for their Elizabeth. Her
dark-red hair and brown eyes made her a little beauty even at the tender age of
two.
Sometimes, Rose wondered if things wouldn't
have been better if she hadn't married Jack that June day near his childhood
home in Chippewa Falls. But she knew it would have been worse. Alone, without
Jack…nothing would work without him.
Their lives were finally shattered a few days
after Elizabeth's third birthday. Jack and Elizabeth were in her bedroom,
playing, waiting for dinner, when she had just collapsed, without any warning.
She had been happy, active, feeling better than ever the last few weeks and
Rose had started to hope, hope that they could have a normal life, that her
baby would be okay. She could still hear Jack's sorrow-tinged words when she
came from the kitchen to tell them that dinner was ready.
"She's…she's dead, Rose. She…was running
to…to go to you and then, she just fell and…she's not breathing, Rose."
Air escaped Rose and she half-gasped,
half-screamed, falling down to her knees next to the soft form that was her
daughter, the curly mass of hair covering her pale face, the tiny smile on her
lips, telling Rose she had been going to see her mother, that Jack had said
something funny, something sweet to her and she had smiled. The smile had
frozen more tightly on her lips than the look of pain and terror had.
Crying softly, she wrapped her arms around
Elizabeth, sobbing, trying to get her baby's arms to move, trying to make her
breathe again.
"She…just fell and…I…I couldn't do
anything," Jack whispered behind her. She turned around, but didn't let go
of Elizabeth. Jack's eyes were red with tears and he was trying to hide his
face from her, trying to hide the way his shoulders were shaking.
They didn't speak after that.
Arrangements were made for the funeral.
*****
Darkness was swallowing them whole as they
stood silently by the tiny grave, not touching, not thinking, not crying. Rose
leaned down, touching the fresh dirt, closing her hand around it, feeling the
icy cold ground. It wasn't snowing. For once. New York was cold at this time of
the year, but it wasn't snowing and Rose barely felt the cold.
Her daughter was down there, in the cold,
frozen ground–it had taken the gravediggers hours to get the grave ready–and
she was standing there, alive, safe, wishing desperately that she was the one
under ground. She wondered what Jack was thinking. Was he relieved? He had not
spoken to her since…that day. He had barely eaten. Rose hadn't either. She felt
weak with hunger, but what really shone through was her feeling that someone
was trying to strangle her. It was so hard to stay alive.
She leaned her head down on the cold ground,
almost able to hear her daughter laugh and talk happily, telling her about how
she and Daddy had been out, how they had played, how they had talked to a nice
dog, watched some birds, found yet another set of swings, how Daddy had let her
fly on them, fly into eternity.
How could she think that Jack would be
relieved? Relieved to see Elizabeth free from her pain, yes…relieved to see
Cal's daughter dead, no. Never. He had loved her more than she had ever thought
a man could love his child.
Rose looked up at Jack, without moving her
head. His face was blank, his eyes cold and red and his hand shaking as he
reached up to wipe away the hair from his face.
"You'll catch a cold if you stay
there." He finally spoke and Rose swallowed hard, hearing the unending,
raw pain beneath his words. She didn't even know what she was doing on the
ground. Her daughter wasn't here anymore. She had moved on to the next world,
or was just sleeping somewhere. She was gone. She wasn't in the cold ground.
She was somewhere she could be happy.
Quickly, Rose got to her feet and embraced
Jack, without another word. She held him tightly, his body rigid and still, his
hands not moving up to hold her. She held him even more tightly, moving her
hands over his back, kissing his cheek.
At that moment, he pushed her away, staring
at her wildly.
"Don't," he breathed. "Just
don't."
"Why? Jack, please, I need you now
and…you need me…just…let me hold you."
He shook his head fiercely.
*****
The winter sun was stronger here than in New
York and Rose slowly pulled away from Jack, smiling at him, asking him the
same, unspoken question. He nodded, touching her hair gently.
"I won't do that either," he said
simply, pulling her closer once more. This time, they didn't kiss, they just
held each other, imagining, both of them, in different ways, Elizabeth running
on the beach, being chased by the waves, laughing, screaming with joy.
"Did you…that day on Titanic when you
promised me we'd come here, did you think we would ever go?"
Jack nodded, whispering a firm yes into her
ears. She smiled against his shoulder, kissing his neck softly, letting her
fingers drown in his blond hair.
"Did you…think you would love Cal's
child?" she asked slowly. The question had been living inside her ever
since that day, in the hospital, when he had come in to see her and her
daughter. He had smiled and said she had her mother's hair, that she was
beautiful.
The question had weakened over the years,
being one of those questions that would never be answered, simply because no
one would ask it. But, after Elizabeth's death and their sorrow, their almost
separation, the question had developed again and now, she had to know.
*****
"Jack, please, don't go," she
whispered weakly. He had turned and started walking away from her, his back
stiff and cold.
"I can't stay, Rose. I can't stay with
you when…I know you blame me for…our…your daughter's death."
She gasped, stumbling in surprise, almost
falling on her face. He turned around, stopping, making sure she was okay.
*****
"Did I what?"
"You heard me."
*****
"Jack, no, I…don't blame you…and what do
you mean my daughter? She's yours, too. Jack, please, don't go."
He looked at her, without speaking, his eyes
looking ready to explode with pain.
"Is she?" he asked miserably, rubbing
his eyes quickly with stiff and cold fingers. She hurried up to him, hearing
the pain behind his words.
"You…you are…were her daddy, Jack.
Always."
His cold face disappeared as the pain finally
cut through and he fell to his knees, sobbing, as Rose reached over, rocking
him in her arms tightly.
"Why did she have to die so soon…she was
our daughter, our little girl…" he whispered, his words thick and slow.
His hand moved over Rose's hair, remembering Elizabeth's soft hair, her smile,
her love for him, even though he hadn't been her real father.
"She was tired. She was so tired,
Jack…she knew…she knew we loved her…"
Snow fell over them as they held each other,
shaking with sobs, but finally, after days of unavoidable, deep pain, they were
grieving together.
*****
Rose remembered that moment in the cemetery
as she stared into Jack's blue eyes. The February wind blew in her hair and his
smile grew.
"No, I guess I didn't. But…I ended up
loving both his fiancée and his daughter."
"Your daughter, Jack. Your daughter and
your…wife."
He smiled softly, moving his hands gently
over her back, ending up on her flat stomach. For the first time since that
horrible day on Titanic, when he had found out that Cal had hurt her like that,
that he had almost killed her, Jack felt at peace. He had loved Elizabeth more
than he had thought possible, but fear had always circled around her life. Now,
she wasn't in any more pain.
"Come on, it's getting late." He
wrapped his arms around her as they walked over to the horse. He didn't let go
of her for one second. Together, they walked in the surf as the sun drowned
herself into the ocean next to them. Rose leaned her head on Jack's shoulder,
watching the water dreamily. She wished they would live happily ever after now.
Jack looked down at her, smiling as he stole another kiss. She moved closer,
kissing him back, feeling as if she could drown in him.
She was kissing her prince and even if
everything wasn't all right now like in all storybook romances, they were
together, kissing in the sunset.
The End.