THE SILENCE
Chapter Five
"What a long day," thought Jack,
kicking off his boots and lolling on his bunk. They hit the floor with a dull
thud. "Peace. The engines were silent as Titanic had stayed put during the
night due to the ice flow. The Swedes, normally very noisy were no doubt still
propping up the bar and Fabri was still trying to converse with his lady
friend.
He folded his arms behind his head and stared
upwards. Today had been very long. But he felt better, a little more at peace
with himself. He had almost enjoyed himself at the party tonight. He had danced
with Cora, even a young Irish girl and had a few beers. But then he began to
feel guilty, why he wasn't sure, and had sought refuge back at his cabin.
Rose. She was the reason why he felt guilty.
Now he had made peace with his parents, he wished he could make peace with the
beautiful red head who haunted him.
He heard footsteps coming up the corridor
followed by the cabin door handle being turned. Fabri appeared.
"Jack, I found you gone. I have to see
if you are alright."
Jack pulled his portfolio out from under his
pillow.
"Here, you've been nagging me long
enough. Take a look." He held it out to Fabri.
Fabri took it warily.
"You mean the drawings in the
ribbon?"
"Yeah. Well go on." Fabri removed
the drawings and studied them. He knew Jack kept some drawings tied up in the
back of his folder. He also knew Jack never took them out and when he had asked
to see them, Jack had gone crazy. He had tried to talk to Jack about it, about
what happened back home, but he got very little answers.
Jack leaned forward. "This is my Ma,
this is my Pa. Here, this one is the, I mean was the farm. This was my Ma's
favorite drawing, of all of us. Funny though, I could never draw myself very
good."
Fabri listened, amazes as Jack opened up a
part of his life that he had never seen before.
"And I decided Fabri, I am going to the
church service tomorrow, the memorial one for Rose."
Fabri's face clouded over.
"It's no a good idea Jack. You have to
forget it now. It's in first class; you don't belong there. All her people are
there. Someone might recognize you." He could see no arguments were
getting through. He sighed and tried his last shot.
"Besides, I ain't never seen you go to
church. I didn't know you had religion."
"I ain't been to church since, since
well my folks, you know." Jack took a breath and said it. "Since they
died. But I need to say goodbye to them and Rose. I owe her. She's messed my
life up, but she helped me find my parents."
Jack was aware that Fabri was staring at him
like some mad man.
"It don't matter Fabri. I'm going. I
have to."
Fabri shook his head. "You don't have
to. And what do you mean 'find your parents'? Huh?"
"After the fire I didn't just lose my
parents for real. I lost them in here too." Jack pointed to his heart.
"I couldn't talk about them, think about them. Even nice things, like
Christmas and birthdays. Remember, I don't celebrate my birthday?"
"Yeah," remembered Fabri. "I
remember. You wouldn't tell me why."
"That's why. You have all your family
Fabri. I felt very alone."
"But have them back now. That is good
and I am glad." Fabri smiled. "But, you don't have to go,
there."
"I'm going and that is that. You come
too and keep an eye on me if you want. Besides, I ain't seen you go to church
lately and you promised your Ma."
Fabri guiltily felt the crucifix he wore on a
long chain round his neck move slightly.
"OK, OK I come too. But only to say
thanks for a safe passage through the ice, you understand."
"Sure," Jack flopped back onto his
bunk. "You'd better go and say goodnight to your new sweetheart."
Fabri gave him a friendly punch and left.
Jack settled down for the night.
It didn't take him long to fall asleep and
the inevitable dreams came. But where once his dreams were filled vividly with
fear, cries, orange flames, crackling wood and the smell of smoke, it was
replaced with a little more serenity. Jack stood before the farm, intact,
unburned. He ran to the door and pushed it open. He went into the kitchen and
his Ma stood at the table, the smell of baking coming from the oven. She looked
up and smiled at Jack.
"Hello Ma," he smiled back.
"Excuse me a moment, there is something I have to do." He ran from
the back porch to the barn, where his father was chopping wood.
"Hello son," he greeted.
Everything was as it should be Jack
concluded. He then noticed someone on the path. He ran to the gate and caught
sight of a girl with long red curly hair walking away from him.
"Rose?" he called after her, but
she didn't stop. Jack jumped the gate and set off after her. She looked
slightly ridiculous in a gown on a country road, but Jack didn't notice that.
"Rose?" he questioned again.
"I led you home, now I have to find my
own way," she smiled.
"I'll walk with you." Offered Jack.
"No, you can't," she said sadly.
"I have to do this alone. You have to go back and go on Jack. I made a
mistake, you must not follow me."
"I don't understand," Jack looked
at her beautiful face.
"You must make everyday count Jack.
Promise me."
"I promise Rose. I promise."