SHIP OF DREAMS
Chapter Thirteen
Anne stared off into the
distance. Her entire body felt numb, despite the sunshine on her face. Numb
with exhaustion, both mental and physical. Numb with cold. The tragedy that had
occurred hours ago seemed a lifetime ago, and she felt so much older than her
twenty-three years. Her eyes widened when the sunlight lit the surrounding
area. They were surrounded by an enormous ice field that stretched off to the
north. Icebergs in every shape and size dotted the landscape, and the sunlight
reflected off of it in breathtaking whites, pinks, blues, and purples. How
can something so beautiful be so horrible? She suddenly realized that one
of the pinks reminded her of the pastel pink on a flower. Then, something else
caught her eye. She gently shook Megan’s shoulder; the woman had fallen asleep.
It seemed everyone had. "Megan...Megan. Is that a ship?"
"Hmm?" Megan groggily
opened her eyes. She glanced over at Anne, who seemed tired, but still wide
awake somehow. She leaned closer as Anne whispered into her ear again, and then
she followed Anne’s line of vision. There was a large ship, though not as large
as the Titanic, traveling towards them. Megan, along with a few others, had
seen it earlier, at around half past three that morning. At least, they thought
they had seen it. But the crewmen had dismissed it as another lifeboat. But
this…this was definitely not another lifeboat. "Oh, my goodness,
Anne!"
"Ship! There’s a ship!"
Soon, the cry could be heard throughout the lifeboat.
Not long after, everyone was
rowing anxiously towards the ship. The other lifeboats had also spotted it,
although not all of them were able to row towards it. Cries of help could be
heard from the men of one of the collapsible boats.
"The Carpathia," Anne
breathlessly whispered as they rowed towards the intimidating black hull of the
ship. She scanned the other lifeboats, but they were still too far away for her
to distinguish specific people. I hope Rose is onboard.
*****
Anne stood at the railing of the
Carpathia. She gripped the cold metal railing with white knuckles. He had to be
in one of the lifeboats. Where is he? He must be somewhere. Have I missed
him? No, he’s an officer. He’ll be one of the last to board. Rose stood
beside her, one arm draped protectively around Anne’s shoulders. But Anne
hardly felt it. She hardly felt anything but hope, and the fear that her hopes
would be crushed into a fine dust within minutes. She watched the other women
near the railing slowly being led away as they sobbed hysterically and
silently. But some were in shock, and they didn’t cry at all. Anne watched one
passenger after another being lifted up to the deck, but none were faces she
knew, albeit some she recognized vaguely.
Rose stared numbly out to sea.
She had watched Jack, her first and only love, perish. And now, was the first
man her stepsister ever had feelings for to die, as well? Rose had no desire to
find Cal or her mother, or be found by them. In fact, she had covered her
signature red hair with a blanket to make her more difficult to identify.
"Come. You look
exhausted," Rose softly suggested. She already knew her love had perished;
she didn’t want Anne to watch the last passenger board with no sign of Murdoch.
She gently began to pull her stepsister away.
"No. There’s just a few more
boats." Anne desperately searched the lifeboats below.
"Anne," Rose softly
warned. "Please, be reasonable. You’ll go insane."
Anne stared longingly down at the
lifeboats. Finally, she nodded slowly. She cast one last look down at the
remaining survivors before she allowed Rose to lead her away.
*****
Megan rose from her seated
position on the deck as Anne and Rose neared. Seeing Anne’s desolate
expression, she knew they had not found Murdoch. "Mr. Hockley came down
earlier, Miss Rose. I believe he was searching for you. He returned to first
class after he gave up."
"He left? He was here? He
survived?" Rose let loose a string of curses that caused Anne to blush and
Megan to giggle.
"I must busy myself. I’m
going to see if help is needed anywhere," Anne softly stated.
"I’ll accompany you,"
Megan offered.
"I’ll think I’ll stay, if
you don’t mind," Rose said, and the other two shook their heads.
*****
Anne quickly found a steward, who
informed her that three dining rooms had been converted into makeshift
hospitals. She quickly thanked him before rushing off to the nearest dining
room. She needed to keep her mind from Murdoch. No, she wanted to never forget
him. But was there a point in loving a dead person?
She reached into her pocket for
her pocket watch. Her hand emerged holding Murdoch’s. Sad, tired, and angry,
she sank down along the wall of the corridor. She pulled her knees to her chest
and rested her head on her knees. Every article of clothing she had donned the
previous night she yet wore, even her lifebelt. The previous night. It seemed
an eternity ago.
*****
"What? You can’t be
serious!" Megan exclaimed in a harsh whisper. It was far too early for
jokes.
"You must be mistaken,"
Rose added, the sleep that had been eluding her completely gone now.
"No, I’m not mistaken, and I
am quite serious." Lowe nodded gravely. All three looked down at Anne. She
had not slept until perhaps half an hour ago, and even then, it had been a
restless sleep.
"What should we do?"
Rose asked.
"Wait until the
morning," Lowe suggested. "It’s too early now. Let her sleep."
Megan and Rose nodded, though
they did not know exactly where Anne was, anyway. She had disappeared early in
the afternoon, and had not returned. They had not searched for her; they all
needed time alone with their thoughts. Besides, it was the best they could do.
Let her sleep.
*****
"Anne? Anne Stewart?"
Lowe paused before the young woman. She was curled up in a corridor. He smiled
when she looked up at him. "You’re safe! Are you all right?"
"Harry! Have you seen
Will?" Anne leapt to her feet, ignoring Lowe’s question regarding her
welfare.
"Yes." Lowe slowly
nodded, after a long pause. "I’ve been searching for you."
"Is he...?" Anne’s
voice trailed off.
"I’m sorry, Anne. I truly
am." Lowe dropped his gaze to the ground, unable to look Anne in the eyes.
Anne’s lips parted slightly, but
no sound came out. The ship, the corridor, it was all spinning. Dead. Will
is dead. She heard Lowe say something to her, but she couldn’t understand
it. Her head was pounding. Her heart was squeezing; it collapsed in upon
itself. Her legs were rubber. She couldn’t stand. She began to fall, but Lowe
caught her and held her fast.
"Are you all right?"
Lowe asked.
Anne numbly shook her head. Her
breath came in short, fast gasps. Dead? How could he be dead?
"You’re...lying. Harry, please. Someone has made a mistake."
"I’m sorry, Anne. I’m sorry.
There is no mistake." Lowe paused to think. "He wouldn’t have wanted
it any other way, you know. He could have never lived with himself."
"Harry..." Anne shook
her head. "I don’t want to think about it. Is his body...where is it?"
"It’s bad luck to have
bodies on board a ship," Lowe softly reminded her.
"Of course." Anne
nodded quickly. "Will told me so." She swiftly wiped a tear from her
cheek before Lowe could see it. "Could you...could you stay with me a bit,
perhaps?"
"I would love to, Anne, I
really would. But the captain needs to speak with the surviving officers. You
understand, don’t you, love?" Lowe asked. He fixed his gaze on a spot just
beyond Anne as he spoke.
"Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t
mean to keep you from your duties," Anne said, as she temporarily regained
control over her emotions. "I need to find Rose and Megan, anyway. They’ll
be searching for me." She swiftly turned on her heel and strode down the
corridor, not quite certain where she was going, but not quite caring, either.
Lowe stared after Anne as she
disappeared out of sight. He groaned slightly in pain for the poor girl. It
wasn’t right for her to suffer so. She had already endured enough.