AN OCEAN OF EMOTION
Chapter Three

Ruth

I slept soundly for the first time since the Titanic tragedy. The sleeping aids the doctor had given me had helped a lot. But if I was going to get to the bottom of the identity of the woman in the photo with the Metcalfe girl, I had to do it in a way that Cal would not catch on to.

My servant came up on time and I was dressed and ready before breakfast. Since it wasn’t that cold outside yet, I decided to have some juice on the veranda before we all sat down.

"You’re up bright and early. And to what rare occasion do we owe this debt of gratitude to?"

I turned around in my chair to see Cal walking towards me. "Why, yes, I am, and nothing is owed except for your company with me for a moment. It’s a semi-pleasant day outside and I decided to enjoy the air a bit before breakfast. Would you care to join me?"

Cal unbuttoned the bottom buttons of his vest before sitting down in a chair beside me. "I don’t mind if I do." He summoned one of the servants, and after disappearing briefly inside the kitchen, she returned with a cup of coffee for him and more juice for me.

"Thank you. Thank you very much," I said to her as she poured my drink.

She looked almost surprised that someone thanked her for the job she was paid to do. She curtsied. "You’re welcome, ma’am."

"So, what about this nonsense of Rose being alive? What are we going to do about it?"

I let out a small laugh. "I do apologize for my ramblings last night. I must admit I sounded a bit strange. The stress of losing my daughter in the most unfortunate manner has caused me to become a bit ill in the mind from time to time."

Cal took a sip of his coffee and nodded his head. "The photo does look a bit like her. But we both know it’s not her. She would have found me if she were alive. She loved me, remember?"

I absentmindedly looked at him for a moment. "Yes. She does love you."

"Did love me. Remember, Ruth? Did love me. She’s not alive anymore."

I shook my head. "I do apologize. I keep forgetting that sometimes. She did love you. And I’m sure wherever she is, she still does. I’m sure she’s deeply regretting the fact that she’s no longer here with us anymore."

"I’m sure that she is. Most of all, she was your daughter. You raised her. You were her mother."

I nodded my head slowly while trying to contain the urge to scream at Cal that Rose was alive. I knew in my heart she was alive after seeing her in that photo at the inquests. There was no way that Rose would give everything up. She loved Cal, and I know she loved me. Why would she just give all of it up for nothing when here she had everything? It just didn’t make sense, but the instinct I had after seeing the photo made me believe something else was out there.

Rose

Jack was out of the house, which gave me time to just be alone. While he was gone, I kept having flashbacks to my previous life with Cal and Mother. Thoughts of the Titanic, the boring dances, the monotonous parties, and the stiff polo matches kept running through my mind. Victoria had told me that my death announcement made the papers soon after the Titanic sank. Cal, I’m sure, arranged for it all to make himself look like the victim instead of the pompous ass he really was. My funeral was news in Philadelphia where we were going for our engagement party. Last Victoria heard, Cal had moved to Pittsburgh to work for his father and I’m sure he was out to find a new society girl to boss around. I felt sorry for her already.

I felt a sharp pain in my side and realized that the baby was moving around. I smiled as I thought about how happy I was. I had Jack, I had my home, I had this baby, and most importantly, I had a life far, far away from Cal and Mother.

"Mother." I said the name slowly, as if trying to swallow some bad medicine. "I wonder what she is doing without me." I put my left hand on my stomach and looked down. "Do you think she even cares that I’m gone? Do you think Cal does? Am I wrong for thinking this?" The baby’s only response was another swift kick to my midsection. "I get it. Try not to think about that, right?" I closed my eyes to relax a moment. "You’re wise beyond your years and you aren’t even born yet. Here you are, still inside me, and you’re already bossing me around. But I guess you’re right. Thinking about the past will only drag me down. I was pretty far down when I met your father. If he hadn’t pulled me off the back of that ship, I don’t know what would have happened." I started to laugh. "Your father said I wouldn’t have jumped. I suppose he was right. To this day, I still don’t know what I was thinking by hanging on the back of the ship like I did. But I see it this way…fate. Fate brought your father and me together. We almost lost each other, but that made us realize what we mean to each other. Almost losing someone you love will do that to you." I waited for another kick from the baby, but nothing. "I guess I put you to sleep already." I stood up and walked over to the window. I could see straight into Victoria’s parlor from where I was standing. A small, white picket fence covered in vines separated our yards, but Harry swore when he got back with Jack from his next sailing trip in a few weeks, he’d cut a gate in the middle of that fence and line a path with stones so Victoria and I could visit without having to walk around the front of the house. I tried to see if I saw any movement over there, but after watching for a moment, I let the white sheer drapes drop back down and waddled over to the couch to lie down for a nap. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep.

*****

"Rose, darling. We must be going."

"Jack? Where are we going?" I threw the door to my bedroom open, but instead of Jack, there stood Cal.

"Sweetpea, who is Jack? Now, please hurry. We don’t want to be late!"

I took a step back as Cal stood in the doorway. "What are you doing here? Where is Jack?"

Cal’s face went from pleased to worried as soon as I finished speaking. "Rose, darling, did you sleep all right? Do you know where you are? Are you all right?"

I pushed past Cal and walked into the hallway. It was our house, but Jack was nowhere to be found. "What did you do with Jack, you arrogant bastard?"

I raised my fists to hit Cal, but he stopped me and brought my fists back down to my waist. "Rose! Snap out of it. I haven’t the slightest clue as to whom this Jack person is, but if you don’t stop, you’re going to upset the baby as well as your mother. She’s already had one attack today. Please don’t give her another!"

I wiggled free of Cal’s grip and looked down at my stomach. "This isn’t your baby. This is Jack’s baby. How dare you try to take this from him!" I turned to walk towards the front door, hoping Victoria was home to straighten all of this out. "Leave me alone!"

"Oh, dear." Cal shook his head as I ran out the door.

The gate was already cut in the fence and I flung it open as I raced up the walk Harry had laid. The door wasn’t locked, so I let myself in. "Victoria! Victoria! Victoria!" I rounded the corner in the kitchen, headed into the sitting room, and she came down from the back bedroom.

"Rose, you look a fright. What is wrong?"

"Oh, thank God! You know who I am. What is going on?"

Victoria motioned for me to sit down. "What on earth are you talking about? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost."

"I have. Victoria, where is Jack? Cal is in our house. Cal is saying the baby is his. Please, go with me. Tell him the baby is Jack’s and Jack and I are married. Cal doesn’t believe me."

Victoria sighed. "Rose, who is Jack?"

I stood up so fast that I knocked the chair over. "Oh, God! Not you, too! What is going on here?" I began to pace in the parlor. "Where is Jack?" Victoria stood up. She was no longer pregnant. "Where’s your baby?"

"My baby? Little Harold is upstairs, asleep. Why? Mrs. Miller just put him down for his nap. Rose, you really must sit down. You’re going to cause damage to the baby. Please, sit."

I shook my head. "No! Not until I find out what is going on here. Jack and I got married. Remember? We got married at the same time you and Harry got married. Remember? The Waldorf-Astoria, after the sinking? Before the inquests?"

"Rose, I have not a clue who you are talking about. Harold and I got married about a year ago. Father approved of it and even gave Harold a job working for him."

I stood up and put my hands on Victoria’s shoulders. "Victoria Anne Lowe! This is not funny anymore. What is going on?"

"My last name isn’t Lowe. It’s Murray. Remember? My husband’s name is Harold Murray; your mother introduced us at that polo match a year ago. He’s Cal’s cousin. Remember now?"

My head started to spin. "What is going on here?"

"Sweetpea, there you are. Victoria, is she making any sense?" Cal came up behind me and started to pull me in close to him. I shook myself away from his grip.

Victoria shook her head. "I’m afraid not."

"I had a feeling this might happen. You know what we need to do."

Victoria nodded.

*****

"No!" I sat straight up on the couch. "Jack!" I stood up and ran to our bedroom. Our wedding photo was on the bedside table. "Jack!" I ran back into the parlor. "Jack!"

"Rose, what’s wrong?"

I turned to find Harry standing in my parlor, breathless from running. "Oh, God, Harry!" I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me in tight, trying his best to calm me as waves of shaking took over my body. I began to breathe hard. "Where is Jack?"

"Jack?" He looked puzzled.

"Oh, God! You don’t know who Jack is, do you?"

Harry stood back. "Rose are you feeling all right?"

I took a step back. "Harry, where’s Jack?"

He shook his head, but answered my question, "He’s at the dock getting ready to sail next week. Remember? He said he’d be back before dinner. I promised Tory I’d stop by the market and pick her up a few apples for a snack. She’s been craving them. I told her I’d bring them by on my lunch break, but forgot. I made a special trip home before I got into trouble. See?" He held up a brown paper sack, presumably containing Victoria’s apples. "Are you okay?" I tried to catch my breath as I sat down on the chair in the sitting room. Harry put the bag down and squatted next to me. "I heard you yelling for Jack from our house. I didn’t know what was wrong, so I came over."

"Just a bad dream. That’s all. If Victoria is awake, would you send her over if she feels like it?"

He nodded and said he would. I relaxed into the chair and felt the baby kick again. "So, you’re awake, too." I looked up when I heard footsteps in my kitchen. "Victoria?"

She smiled as she came into the room. "Harry said you were upset. Are you all right? Is Jack all right?"

I swallowed as I nodded. "Yes. He’s fine, I think. Harry said he forgot your snack and he heard me yelling like a madwoman. Please assure him I’m all right."

She looked at me as she pulled a kitchen chair in front of me and sat down. "Are you?"

"Just a really bad dream. I tried to take a nap. I was married to Cal, of all things. Cal was here with me, in this house. I kept calling out for Jack, trying to find him. He wasn’t here, and no one had heard of him. You were married to Harold Murray, whoever that was, and you had already had the baby. A boy you named Little Harold."

Victoria snickered. "Harry does want to name the baby Harold, Jr. if it’s a boy."

I smiled weakly. "Anyway, you weren’t married to Harry anymore, no one had heard of Jack, Mother had an attack, and when Cal asked you what to do, you just said that you both knew."

"Then what?"

I shook my head. "I woke up."

"Sounds like your dream was pretty real."

"It scared me. It really did. I was yelling so loud for Jack, Harry heard me. He came running inside and told me Jack was all right. He’s at the docks, I think."

Victoria nodded. "They’re getting ready to leave next week. It’ll just be the two of us again. Nothing but you, me, the house, and a deck of cards right?"

"I guess so." I looked around the house. "Will you stay with me? At least until Jack gets home? I don’t want to be alone."

Victoria reached in and held my hand. "Of course I will."

I felt better knowing she’d be there with me, but I still wanted to know what my dream was all about. I just hoped I never thought of it again.

Chapter Four
Stories