THE EDUCATION OF ROSE DAWSON: PART I
Chapter Ten
Compunction
After agreeing with Commander
Booth to meet outside in ten minutes and receiving her blessing for Miss Howard
to join them, Rose went upstairs to freshen up and look for Miss Howard, whom she
found still packing.
"Hello, Miss Dawson. Look at
all the clothes the Army gave me. And they were all donated by kind strangers!
Some of them are of very good quality."
"You will have plenty of
opportunities to wear them upstate, Miss Howard. It does get colder up there.
Are you ready to go visit Mrs. Abbott?"
"Give me two more minutes.
You can go down first. I’ll meet you there."
*****
The SA traveled in a convoy of
three cars to St. Vincent’s Hospital. Rose and Miss Howard sat in Commander
Booth’s vehicle. During the ride, Commander Booth made an announcement. "I
will be going to England on the twenty-fourth on the Mauretania."
"That was the same ship I
took to Europe," said Rose.
"Why so soon?" asked
Miss Howard.
"There are some Army matters
I need to attend to. I was supposed to sail today on the Titanic, but
you know what happened there. I also have to see my father, General William
Booth. He turned eighty-three just ten days ago, on the same day the Titanic
left Southampton. Only God knows how much longer he will live."
"That is an age no one in my
family has ever seen, as far as I know," Rose revealed. "None of my
grandparents lived past the age of sixty. My father died at forty-six and my
mother was forty." At least she was the last time I saw her.
Commander Booth’s face turned
grim. "So, do you think you will also go to Heaven early, Miss
Dawson?"
"I do not know for sure, but
if my family history is any indicator, I may no longer be here in fifty years,
for instance. Or perhaps thirty years."
"Miss Dawson, my mother,
Catherine, was promoted to Glory at the age of sixty-one–only a year later than
your oldest grandparent. At the time, my brothers and sisters and I were afraid
that our father would join her soon after because he was devastated by her passing.
But it’s over twenty years later, and he is still here, although his health is
failing."
Rose listened carefully, slowly
comprehending the point Commander Booth was trying to make.
"Now we understand that God
did not consider my father’s work in this world to be finished, so he was not
allowed to join my mother yet. And you, Miss Dawson, also have valuable work to
do here, so that is why God did not let you join your family in Heaven."
Rose was mesmerized. Even though
she and her family had only paid lip service to religion, she was thoroughly
convinced by Commander Booth’s words. Commander Booth could see people just
like Jack. Religion or no religion, I must fulfill Jack’s wish.
"Do not belittle
yourself," said Commander Booth almost imperatively. "I told you
yesterday that you will live a long, fruitful life, and I mean it. Let the
emphasis be on ‘fruitful’, for it is not how many years we live, but rather
what we do with them."
"Amen," said Miss
Howard.
"All the more reason to make
each day count," said Rose.
"Right, and if you do that,
Miss Dawson, you will still be here in fifty years, and for many years after
that."
Madam Booth has such a
commanding personality.
"If so, then may it be a healthy and happy one, too."
"It will. God has smiled
upon you, and so have I."
And so has Jack. Rose smiled hopefully at this prediction.
Then she took time to compliment Commander Booth’s dress, which was as regal as
ever. "Madam Booth, your taste in clothing is immaculate. The silk lining
of your dress reminds me of some designs I saw in Paris."
Commander Booth’s eyes
brightened. "You have a good eye for fabrics. I did not always dress this
way. When I started in the Army, my father sent me to work in the slums of
London, and I wore rags to blend in with the population."
"That must have been an
enlightening experience for you."
"And a touching one, too.
Later, I produced and acted in an Army play about my experiences in the slums
called The Commander in Rags, complete with music, lighting effects, and
even live animals. We still perform the play to raise funds from time to
time."
The mention of acting energized
Rose. "I have been to plays both here and in Europe. I love drama, and I
would like to try acting someday–either in a play or in one of those new moving
pictures."
"I am sure that is another
one of your gifts we have not seen yet, Miss Dawson. I am impressed. You must
have traveled a good part of this world."
"Only to a few countries in Europe
and the East Coast of the U.S. I have yet to visit California, and that is
where I want to go someday."
"That’s more places than
I’ve been," said Miss Howard.
"Ah, California. Is that
where you want to go, Miss Dawson?" asked Commander Booth. "I was in
San Francisco after the earthquake. It is a beautiful city, despite the damage,
but I would rather stay in the East, which is more sure-footed. It is also
closer to England."
"Yes, I have heard much
about California–the good and the bad. But I want to see it myself to draw my
own conclusions. I especially want to visit Santa Monica to ride its roller
coaster and then go horseback riding and swimming on the beach."
"Do you like horseback
riding, Miss Dawson? So do I."
"Yes, but up to now I have
only rode sidesaddle. I would much rather ride it like a man." The way
Jack would want me to do it.
"That is how I would rather
do it. It is more enjoyable that way."
"You certainly know how to
have fun, Madam Booth."
"As do you, and perhaps even
more so. I doubt that I would want to get on a roller coaster. It’s too fast
and beyond my control. Horseback riding is more to my liking, as is
swimming."
"I have always been
fascinated by anything that runs on tracks, hence my interest in trains, roller
coasters, and the El, which Miss Howard and I took yesterday. The noise
frightened me at first, but I slowly overcame my fear of it, and it became a
most interesting experience. Now, I think I am ready to get on a roller
coaster."
"You are becoming fearless,
Miss Dawson," said Commander Booth. "I believe you were not like this
last week."
"No, I was not. But tragic
events can bring about some drastic changes in people. You may think I am crazy
for saying this, but eventually, I hope to fly an airplane. That would be some
challenge. Harriet Quimby is the only American woman who has flown an airplane. Will
there be another?"
Commander Booth and Miss Howard
were surprised by Rose’s recreational ambitions, but they could not help but
admire her desire to enjoy life so soon after her loss. "Miss Quimby flew
across the English Channel just a few days ago, but you probably did not hear
about it because you were still on the Carpathia. The New York Times
reported on her feat, but it was obscured by the sinking," said Commander
Booth.
"I am so happy for
her!" said Rose in a display of controlled excitement. "She proved
that women and machinery can mix." Sorry, Colonel Gracie.
"And why can’t they, Miss
Dawson?" asked Commander Booth. "Do you think we can’t handle
machines as well as men? I heard there were women who took charge of the
lifeboats, sometimes even rowing them better than the men. Do not forget, the
ship was run by men in all of its aspects, and look where it is now. Another
Salvationist passenger, Mrs. Nye, mentioned that it broke in two before it
sank. That just defies the imagination."
At the mention of Titanic
breaking apart, Rose shut her eyes. The image was still fresh in her mind. If
you only knew how right she is, Madam Booth. I can attest to that.
Miss Howard did not hesitate to
confirm Mrs. Nye’s claim. "Madam Booth, I was on a lifeboat, but I saw the
Titanic break in two before it went under. I’ll remember that for as
long as I live." She bowed her head.
"God Almighty,"
exclaimed a mildly shocked Commander Booth after hearing this eyewitness
account and seeing Rose’s discomfort. She took both Rose and Miss Howard’s
hands and gave each of them a gentle squeeze to reassure them both. "It is
hard to imagine how a ship so large and sturdy could be so…fragile. But then,
nothing in this world, no matter how big, is more than dust in God’s eye."
I said something similar to
Jack after the steerage party. Rose gave Miss Howard a pat on the shoulder before adding her
thoughts to the matter. "Agreed, Madam Booth. In Southampton, someone told
me that, ‘God himself could not sink this ship.’ I do believe he is eating his
words right now," aren’t you, Cal?
"He must be. It is not
prudent to defy God," said Commander Booth.
*****
Entrance to St. Vincent's Hospital, 1900
The cars pulled up in front of
St. Vincent’s Hospital on the corner of West 11th Street and Seventh
Avenue in Greenwich Village. St. Vincent’s was one of the older hospitals in
the city, having been around since 1849. After the three women alighted from
their car and entered the premises, Rose and Miss Howard were astonished to see
so many representatives of the various relief organizations teeming in its
corridors–all for the purpose of providing assistance to the Titanic
survivors. It seemed like a smaller indoor version of the scene at Pier 54 two
evenings earlier.
"It has been like this since
Thursday," noted Commander Booth. She led Rose and Miss Howard to a
private room where Mrs. Abbott was staying. The sight of her lying helplessly
in bed humbled them. Her feet were still heavily bandaged as a result of the
frostbite she sustained from prolonged contact with the Atlantic after the
sinking. She was awake, but still seemed as dazed as she was aboard the Carpathia.
Finally, she acknowledged the presence of her newest guests, whom she
recognized very quickly despite her stupor. Rose and Miss Howard went over to
either side of her bed and each took one of her hands and held onto it.
"Rose," mumbled Mrs.
Abbott, whose memory of Rose was fresher because Rose had helped keep an almost
constant vigil over her on the Carpathia.
"Yes, Mrs. Abbott?"
answered Rose attentively. She leaned her head close to Mrs. Abbott to hear her
next words.
"How old are you?"
"I am seventeen."
Her answer clearly disheartened
Mrs. Abbott. “Rossmore would be seventeen next February. Eugene had just turned thirteen," she said
of her sons.
Mrs. Abbott’s words could only
make Rose think of her own mother’s grief. Mother must be just as distressed
right now. Few things hurt a mother more than to outlive her child.
“I don’t know your full name.”
I forgot to tell her on the Carpathia. “Rose Dawson.”
That appeased Mrs. Abbott
somewhat. "They couldn’t spare just two more spaces." She looked at
Miss Howard, whom she could have joined on a lifeboat. "I was so close,
yet so far." Then the tears came, and Rose and Miss Howard were moved to
weep along. Even Commander Booth, who had already seen many an episode of human
adversity, was compelled to shed a tear.
Two more spaces. Rose was offered a space aboard a lifeboat
twice, but opted to remain on Titanic
the first time and jump back on the second time–both times for Jack. If I
could, I would have offered both spaces to your sons, Mrs. Abbott.
"I feel…so helpless,"
said Mrs. Abbott.
Rose gave her hand a gentle
squeeze. "Mrs. Abbott, I share your pain. I lost everyone dear to me as
well. But there are still many people here who care about you, as do I. Help is
never far away."
Mrs. Abbott was touched by Rose’s
words. "Miss Dawson, you’re a stronger woman than I." But the hope
continued to fade from her eyes.
At first, Rose was at a loss on
how to respond. "You did what any dignified mother would do," she
said at last, but without sounding overbearing. "You stayed with your
sons. Never regret that. You did the right thing. Someone told me to be
strong," she said, as she glanced at Miss Howard, "and I will try.
But I want you to be strong with me." She squeezed Mrs. Abbott’s hand a
little harder and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"I don’t know…if I can walk
again," said Mrs. Abbott. Then she slowly sank into a half sleep.
A nurse entered the room to check
on Mrs. Abbott. "I’m sorry to interrupt, but I must change Mrs. Abbott’s
dressings." She gently unwrapped Mrs. Abbott’s old bandages from her feet
without disturbing her before cleaning them and applying new ones. The hideous, blackened condition of her
feet made Miss Howard turn away, but Rose continued to stare at them to remind
herself how fortunate she was to have climbed on that wooden panel after
Titanic sank. If Jack had survived, his feet would have been in the same
condition. Thank you again, Jack.
"Will she walk again?"
Miss Howard asked the nurse after she finished changing Mrs. Abbott’s
dressings.
"And what is your
relationship to this patient?" asked the nurse vigilantly.
"We survived the sinking with
her. You can say we’re all family," explained Miss Howard.
The nurse pulled Rose and Miss
Howard away from Mrs. Abbott’s bed before replying. "I don’t know if
she’ll walk again. Only the doctors can determine that. Please keep this to
yourselves. I don’t wish to depress her spirits any further." Then she
left the room.
Such an indecisive answer did not
sound very reassuring to Rose and Miss Howard. Commander Booth noticed their
discomfort and asked them to step outside to recover. The rest of the floor was
also full of grieving and suffering people, but there was compassion to be
found as well. Such scenes had a mixed effect on Rose and Miss Howard.
Commander Booth tried to comfort
them. "My mother once said, ‘There is no improving the future without
disturbing the present.’ God is just. He will not let those who perished die in
vain. By giving their lives to Him, they will help spare many others–perhaps
thousands–from a similar fate." She looked at Rose and Miss Howard’s
faces, which showed a mixture of skepticism and faith. "Sorry, I did not
intend to preach, but I am certain there will be changes to the safety
regulations for seagoing vessels."
"What’s going to happen to
Mrs. Abbott once she leaves the hospital?" asked Miss Howard.
"The Army will do all it can
to help one of its own," answered Commander Booth. "We cannot replace
her sons, but we shall ensure that she gets all the help she needs and
deserves."
"I would love to help her,
too, Madam Booth," said Rose. "It helps me forget about my own loss,
if only for a little while."
"Thank you again, Miss
Dawson," said Commander Booth. "I think it would be best, however, if
you take more time to recuperate first." She smiled at Rose. "I am
not dismissing your offer. In fact, I think you and Mrs. Abbott share something
in common, and you may find solace in each other in the future. But perhaps you
noticed that you remind her too much of her sons right now, and it’s hurting
her deeply."
"I see," said Rose, who
was nevertheless anxious to do something to help Mrs. Abbott.
"Be patient, Miss
Dawson," advised Commander Booth. "You will have plenty of time to
make a difference in people’s lives."