THE DIARY OF MRS. TOMY RYAN
Chapter Seven
That night, I was going to eat dinner at the
captain’s table. My steward had gotten me a seat there. I was dressed
impeccably in a dark green gown, which I had bought just for such an occasion.
I had hoped to get a chance to sit at the captain’s table before I had boarded.
As I walked down to the dining room, I saw Rose in front of me. I hadn’t seen
her since she had come and gotten Jack this afternoon. I hurried, hoping to
catch her and introduce myself. I saw her stop at the top of the stairs by the
clock. I pulled back and waited to see why she had stopped. I looked down the
stairs and saw Jack! He was dressed in a formal tuxedo and it was him that Rose
was walking towards! I watched, fascinated, as Jack took Rose’s hand and kissed
it. Was this the reason Rose didn’t survive? Oh, if I could only talk to her!
I decided to not introduce myself now.
Besides, Jack already knew me, and I didn’t want to spoil anything for him. It
was obvious to me that he had fallen in love with her. I wondered if the others
could tell. I walked around introducing myself to all the other passengers,
trying to stay away from the survivors as much as possible. If I was unable to
change anything, I still wanted to go back and give my report, even though I
would be going back broken-hearted.
All through dinner I was looking at Rose’s
table. She was sitting with some very powerful people. Mr. Andrews, Mrs. Brown,
Mr. Ismay, Colonel Gracie, Mr. Guggenheim, Madame Aubert. And her mother and
Cal, of course. Jack seemed to be the one bringing life to the table. I saw
many looks between Jack and Rose, and I hoped that if they had to die, they
would be together.
The conversation at my table was quite
boring, but I tried to listen. One couple was entertaining the captain with
stories of their trip over on the Olympic. It seemed that this couple would
only travel with Captain Smith. I ate, realizing that this had been a bad idea.
I wouldn’t get to talk to the captain at all. Since I was new to most of these
people, they were barely polite. It was a struggle to even get some of them to
look at me. I was waiting for the dinner to be over so I could leave. I had
been neglecting my assignment, convinced that I could change history. I was
realizing that it was a hard thing to do. From now on, I would concentrate on
making sure that Tommy and I could get on a lifeboat. If I had to go back
without him, I would have something to report, anyway.
These thoughts were depressing. I had to do
something. I looked around at all these people, and even though I was in first
class, I still saw faces that wouldn’t survive. The Allisons and their daughter
would die, all because the children’s nanny kidnapped the boy, Trevor. Mrs.
Allison would refuse to leave the ship without her son, never knowing that he
was already in a lifeboat. I saw them sitting there eating dinner. I imagined
Mr. Allison talking about the horses he saw, as his whole purpose had been to
go to England to buy new breeding stock. I looked at Rose’s table, and I saw
many who would not survive. Rose herself never made it. Jack and Mr. Andrews.
Mr. Astor, Colonel Gracie. This was becoming too much for me. I struggled
through dessert and excused myself. I couldn’t handle looking at anymore people
I knew were going to die.
I left and went out to the stern of the ship.
I stood there and I began to think of all the good that had come out of the
Titanic sinking. But the cost in lives! It was almost overwhelming. The
American Ice Patrols that turned into their coast guard, the safety laws that
made ships safer. I stood and stared out at the water; this freezing cold water
that hid the iceberg. We would hit it tomorrow night. Finally, after standing
there, crying, I went inside down to my cabin. I changed into my nightgown and
lay down on the bed. I started to cry more softly, trying not to imagine the
sound of people freezing to death.