ROSE DAWSON: REBORN FOR THE BETTER
Chapter Ten
October 15, 1912
Luke and Rose
rekindled their relationship in the weeks following the incident in the park.
As fall wore on, the days growing shorter and cooler and the nights longer, they
began to see more and more of each other, meeting each day in the park during
Rose’s lunch break, and often going to dinner and a moving picture show on her
days off.
There had been a
subtle shift in their relationship, one that neither could define, but both
instinctively felt. Rose was sure that Jack was behind the change, though she
never mentioned her thoughts to Luke. Luke didn’t know how or why things had
changed, but he did know that Rose had become very special to him.
One evening in
mid-October, Rose decided to return Luke’s kindness in taking her out so often,
inviting him to dinner at her apartment. She and Hope outdid themselves
cooking; Rose even prepared a fancy dessert that she had learned to make as a
member of the upper class, though she couldn’t afford all of the expensive
ingredients and had to find substitutes.
Luke arrived
promptly at six o’clock, bringing a bouquet of flowers to decorate the table.
While Hope slipped into the kitchen to put the flowers in water, Rose invited
Luke in and offered him a seat on the second-hand couch in the parlor.
Luke nodded,
accepting the offer, then gestured for Rose to sit beside him. She did so,
glancing around the apartment nervously.
"I apologize
for the mess," she told him, referring to the collection of well-worn
furniture and the faded rug.
"What
mess?" Luke asked, knowing what she was referring to, but pretending not
to. He knew that Rose and Hope didn’t have much money. "It looks better
than my apartment, at least before the housekeeper gets to it. She only comes
once a week, and I never was the tidiest person around. Your place is clean, at
least."
"Yes,
well...we don’t often have guests. We gave it a thorough cleaning
yesterday."
"Hmm...a good
housekeeper. I may just keep you," he joked.
Rose laughed, a
little nervously. It was only a joke, of course, but their relationship had
been progressing much faster than she had expected, even with Jack’s assurance
that it was meant to be. She liked Luke, she really did, but things were going
faster than she was comfortable with.
When Luke reached
to hold her hand, she suddenly pulled away. Getting to her feet, she hurried
toward the kitchen.
"I’d best
check on dinner before it burns," she explained, hurrying through the
door.
Hope was taking the
roast out of the oven, transferring it to a blue and white platter. They had
set the table in the parlor, though Hope and Rose usually took their meals in
the kitchen itself, eschewing formality in favor of the more casual atmosphere
both preferred.
Tonight, however,
they had a guest, and Rose, in spite of her nervousness, wanted to make a good
impression. Hope raised an eyebrow as Rose burst into the kitchen.
"Abandoning
your guest already?" she asked, carving a few slices of meat.
"I...I...Hope,
he thinks I’m a good housekeeper!"
"And?"
"And he thinks
I’m a good housekeeper!"
"Rose, you are
a good housekeeper. I’ll admit that you learned most of it from me, but you do
know how to keep things reasonably tidy now."
"He joked that
he might keep me!" Rose wrung her hands.
"So what’s
wrong with that?"
"Hope, what if
he means it?!"
Hope sighed.
"Rose, he was joking. I know that you still carry a torch for Jack, but
you have to learn to accept other people. He’s not going to hurt you, you know."
"I know,
but...wait! How do you know he won’t hurt me?"
"I just
know." At Rose’s cynical expression, she added, "I’m a few years
older than you, Rose, and I was never so sheltered. I’ve seen a few things. I
know that you had a bad experience with the man you were engaged to, and that
you still love another man, but you can trust this one. Now, take this out and
invite him to sit down."
Rose sighed, taking
the platter of beef, potatoes, and carrots. As she moved carefully through the
door, a thought suddenly struck her. Hope had known about Cal—but Rose had
never spoken to her of him. How in the world had she known?
*****
The three conversed
lightly over dinner. Luke complimented both Hope and Rose on the meal, but his
main focus was on Rose. He was especially appreciative of the dessert she had
made, and Rose began to relax, lulled by the friendly conversation and Luke’s
stories about his work.
At the end of the
meal, however, Hope got up to clear away the dishes and wash them. When Rose moved
to help her, she waved her away.
"Luke is your
guest Rose, and I can certainly wash the dishes alone." When Rose opened
her mouth to protest, she added, "For a former member of the upper class,
you certainly don’t seem to remember how to entertain guests." With that,
Hope walked into the kitchen.
Rose sank back into
her chair, her face flaming. Even in the dim light, Luke noticed.
"She’s in a
bit of a temper, isn’t she?"
"Well...ah...yes.
Yes, she is." Rose knew that Hope wanted her to be more friendly to Luke,
and wasn’t going to give her an excuse to avoid him. She didn’t have to be
so rude, though, Rose thought, then stopped, wondering how Hope had known
about her upper class background. Rose had never told her about that, either.
Could Luke have
told her? she
wondered. Luke had been very discreet about what Rose had told him, but he knew
that Hope and Rose were close, and might have told Hope Rose’s secrets because
of it. Or, he might have mentioned these things to her, assuming that she
already knew. Luke didn’t see Hope often, Rose knew, but she didn’t know where
each of them was every minute.
Looking up at Luke,
Rose folded her hands in her lap, trying to relax. Luke looked back at her, his
eyes twinkling in the candlelight.
"That was a
good dinner, Rose," he told her.
"Thank you.
Hope did a lot of the cooking too, though."
"Not that
dessert. I’ve hobnobbed with the wealthy on occasion, and that was definitely a
fancy dessert. I somehow doubt that she knows how to make it."
Rose smiled, relaxing
a little. "No, she doesn’t. I learned to make it in school. Even in high
society, the ability to do a few useful things is accepted."
Luke laughed.
"You don’t seem to have many fond memories of your old life."
Rose looked at the
table. "Some things were good, I must admit. I never had to struggle, or
wonder where my next meal was coming from, or wonder if I would have the money
to pay the rent. I didn’t have to work, or cook, or do laundry. Those things
were nice. But on the other hand, I had no freedom. My life was planned out for
me, from the moment I woke in the morning to the moment I fell asleep at night.
So many things were unacceptable—even little things like laughing outright,
instead of politely at someone’s witty remark, or discussing ideas outside of
what was acceptable. Life was comfortable—but I could see exactly what I would
do and where I would go. An endless parade of yachts and polo matches, parties
and cotillions—always the same narrow people, the same mindless chatter. And so
I broke away. I didn’t do it alone—Jack helped me find the courage to change my
life—but I will never return to that life. Even if someday I am the richest
woman in the world, I won’t go back to it. My freedom is too important to
me."
"I admire
that, Rose. Not many women—not many men, either—have that kind of courage, to
break away from society and live their own lives, for themselves. You’ve made a
life for yourself—but what about your baby? Can you continue to live like this
with a baby?"
"I can only
try." Rose shrugged. "Many families are much worse off than me, and
yet they manage to survive and even thrive. I will do the best I can for my
daughter."
"How can you
be so sure that it’s a girl?"
"Jack told
me." She ignored Luke’s skeptical look. "Her name will be Josephine,
and I will raise her to appreciate freedom, to love and respect herself and
others, just as her father and I did."
"It will be
hard to raise a child alone."
"I can do it,
just as many other women have and still do. Widows, single mothers, women who
are divorced or abandoned—it’s hard, but many still make lives for themselves
and their children. To be sure, it’s too much for some—but then, not all
marriages work well, either. It all depends on the people and their
circumstances." She thought of Cal, and how marriage to him would have
turned out—not well, she was certain.
"But if you
had a choice, to marry and make life easier for yourself and your baby, would
you?"
"I honestly
can’t say, Luke. I don’t have that choice. If Jack had lived, I would have
married him, but as it is, I will simply do my best on my own. What more can I
do?"
"Rose...I’ve
been thinking about this for quite some time..."
Rose looked at him,
her heart suddenly pounding. "Thinking about what?" she asked, trying
to keep her voice calm.
"Rose, you’ve
become very special to me, and I could offer you a good life, while you still
had the freedom to do the things you want." He paused. "Rose, I’m
asking you to marry me."
Rose’s mouth
snapped open and shut, unable to form a response at first. "I...I...do you
love me?" she blurted out. She knew that he would allow her to keep her
freedom, and provide a good home for her baby, but she had vowed to herself
when she had changed her name that she would never marry for anything but love.
"Yes...yes,
Rose, I do. Do you love me?"
"I...I don’t
know." Rose looked straight at him. "Luke, you’re a good friend, a
close friend—maybe the best friend I’ve ever had. But I don’t know what I feel.
It’s too soon. Jack has only been gone for six months—I don’t feel ready to
move on yet. I’m expecting his child—I can’t simply forget him. Even if I
could, even if what we had wasn’t so precious to me, the baby would remind me
every day. No, Luke, I can’t marry you. Maybe one day—but not yet."
"When,
then?"
"I don’t know.
Whenever my heart feels that it is time to let go of the past. It could be
tomorrow...it could be ten years from now. I can’t say. If, when that time
comes, we are still...together...maybe then it would work. But I won’t make a
promise that I don’t know that I can keep."
Rose turned her
head as the kitchen door opened and Hope walked out. She stared at her, but
Hope gave no indication of having heard the conversation. However, her eyes never
left Luke’s, and after a moment, Luke turned back to Rose.
"I do love
you, Rose—but I understand. If we are meant to be together, as you said, then
we will be, in time. If not...you’ve still got a staunch supporter. I won’t
give up on you. Whatever happens..."
"...we’ll
always remain friends," Rose finished for him.
Luke nodded,
smiling at her in spite of himself.