DANGEROUS GAMES
Chapter Eight
Music and cheap beer clouded
Savannah’s senses. All around her were people smoking, drinking, and dancing.
Jack and Rose danced in and around crowds of people and mazes of tables.
Savannah sat at one of those tables alone, ostracized by everyone in the room,
including her hosts. Not wanting to rip Rose away from her knight in shining
armor, Savannah stood and pushed her way to the stairs.
The air out on the deck was
absolutely frigid. The few people who were on deck, mostly seamen and officers,
were all bundled up in their heavy wool coats, fighting back the chill that
blew across the deck. Stopping at the deck railing, Savannah brushed a few
escaping strands of hair from her face. The ocean was as black as the sky above
her as she looked out at the horizon. She pulled her shawl closer to her skin
in a vain attempt at holding any warmth in.
From behind her, she heard a
familiar voice say, "Mrs. Ismay, it’s much too cold for you to be out
here."
She turned and saw Thomas
standing behind her, rubbing his bare hands together. She smiled brightly at
his presence, excited to see him and hear his voice.
"Thomas," she said
lightly as she stepped closer to him.
To her surprise, he held a hand
up and stopped her from advancing any further.
"Please, Mrs. Ismay. I don’t
believe that level of familiarity is appropriate in our relationship," he
said firmly.
Savannah raised an eyebrow at
him.
"Thomas, what are you
doing?" she asked curiously.
"I’m only complying with
your request, Mrs. Ismay," Thomas said, his hands now deep within his
pockets.
Savannah was growing impatient
with Thomas’ behavior.
"Oh, come now, Thomas. This
is silly. Why won’t you just say my name?"
Thomas sensed her impatience and
snapped at her.
"Well, how the hell am I
supposed to know what you want? It’s like fire and ice with you, Savannah! One
minute you say you care for me and the next you’re yelling at me that you are a
married woman and can’t see me anymore!"
Savannah felt her heart sink as
Thomas continued.
"You think you are the only
one getting hurt here? Every time you kiss me, I think maybe, just maybe, this
time you’ll stay with me forever. And every time you turn your back on me and
tell me it has to end, you rip my heart in two. You can’t have everything,
Savannah! You need to pick one or the other, because I can’t handle this
uncertainty anymore."
Savannah looked deep into Thomas’
eyes. He was right. She had used him, strung him along without consideration
for his emotions. How can I do that to someone I care for? she thought
silently. Thomas stood defiantly before her, refusing to move without an
answer. Savannah opened her mouth, but found she was unable to speak. What
could she possibly say that would make this better?
Rather than stammer, ramble, or
even try to find the right words, Savannah stood before Thomas and remained
completely silent. She fidgeted with her shawl, floated her eyes around the
deck, anything she could to avoid the anger and disappointment on Thomas’ face.
"Fine, then," he said
quietly. "Good night, Mrs. Ismay."
Savannah watched him walk down
the deck a few feet before re-entering first class.
*****
The last thing Savannah wanted
was to be in the company of her beloved husband. As she approached the white
paneled door of her suite, she thought of everything Bruce would want to
know--where she’d been, who she’d been with--and how desperately she wanted to
keep it all a secret. Her slender fingers barely touched the polished brass of
the doorknob before she spun on her heel and ran back down the hall the way she
had come.
The cold air was a welcome
feeling this time. The sky was still clear as before and the sea had calmed a
bit. Savannah pulled her shawl back over her shoulders and began to walk aft
toward the stern. As she rounded the end of the first class promenade, she saw
a small group of seamen, no doubt on their watch, chatting by a staircase. She
nodded to them politely and listened as they whispered about her as she
continued on her way.
The silence and emptiness of the
deck brought Savannah to thinking about Thomas. Why hadn’t she said something?
Anything? How could she just let him walk away like that? But what had he
wanted her to say? She loved him? She couldn’t live without him? The silence
was broken when, from further aft, she heard two people singing.
Savannah raised her eyes from the
damp deck to see who was out this late. She saw the two young people retreating
from her toward the entrance to first class. Not wanting to eavesdrop, she
lagged behind a bit and watched as they paused for a moment by the rigging.
After a brief conversation, the woman scampered through the doorway and the
young man resumed his walk, this time toward Savannah. As the man grew closer,
she saw that it was Jack.
"Hi, there, Savannah,"
Jack said as he stopped next to her by the high promenade wall.
"Hello, Jack," she said
quietly. "Did you two have a good time?"
Jack pulled a cigarette from his
pocket and placed it between his lips.
"Yeah. We had a lot of
fun," he began before removing the cigarette and gesturing with it toward
Savannah. "Do you mind if I smoke?" he asked before striking the
match that rested between his thumb and forefinger.
Savannah shook her head and
watched as he lit the cigarette and dropped the still burning match into the
cold ocean.
"Why’d you leave, if you
don’t mind me asking?" he asked before taking a long drag.
"You two were having so much
fun. I didn’t want you to worry about me," Savannah replied as she pulled
her shawl even tighter.
Jack nodded his head and asked,
"Didn’t want the husband to worry?"
Savannah scoffed audibly at his
comment.
Jack flicked off the burnt end of
the cigarette before saying, "I take it your husband isn’t your favorite
person, then."
Savannah shook her head and Jack
said, "Yeah, he doesn’t seem like your type of gentleman. He’s too
old."
Savannah nodded and continued,
"And too busy, and too rude, and too controlling…"
"Boy, does that sound
familiar," Jack said as he dropped the spent cigarette into the wake.
"You and Rose aren’t very different, now, are you?"
Savannah shook her head and
mused, "No, we’re not, are we? Is that why you were staring at me this
morning?"
Jack shook his head and said,
"No. I wasn’t staring. I was studying. I was studying you because it was
clear to me you were unhappy."
Savannah’s ears pricked up at
that last bit.
"Oh, really?" she
questioned. "And why would that be?"
Jack draped his dinner jacket
over his shoulder and said, "You have your husband, but you’re not in love
with him. There’s someone else."
Savannah felt a blush rise from
the neckline of her dress.
"Tell me, then, who is
it?" she asked of him in a hushed tone.
Jack offered his arm and began to
lead her toward the door. They walked about twenty yards in silence before Jack
spoke up.
"I know who, but I’m not
going to tell you. Soon enough, you’ll see."
*****
Savannah returned to her suite to
find it cloaked in darkness. She sneaked into her bedroom and began to undress
herself while she thought of all Jack had said. As she lay in bed staring at
the ceiling, a sense of realization dawned upon her.
"I love him," she
whispered to herself.
Soon after that, she was fast
asleep.
*****
Sunday morning came much too
quickly. At six, Jane came knocking on her door, rambling on about the service
that morning. Savannah enjoyed a long, hot bath while Jane prepared her clothes
for the day. When Savannah found that her skin was sufficiently pruned, she
stood slowly from the tub, only to be greeted by the cold air. From behind her,
she felt her plush bathrobe being draped over her shoulders.
"Thank you, Jane," she
said as she took the sash in her hands and tied it securely around her waist.
"It’s not Jane,
darling."
Savannah turned fully around and
saw Bruce standing behind her. He was fully dressed from head to toe, right
down to the brand new cufflinks she had given him while they were in Rome.
After composing herself, Savannah
smiled and cooed, "You surprised me, Bruce."
She took his outstretched hand
and stepped over the lip of the porcelain bathtub and into her slippers that
waited on the other side.
"After service this morning,
we’re enjoying breakfast with the captain," Bruce said while he watched
Jane lace Savannah into her corset.
He remained steadfastly in the
doorway as Savannah dressed and had her hair and cosmetics fixed. Smiling at
Jane’s hard work, he nodded to her in appreciation before whisking Savannah out
of the room.
The same boring crowd gathered in
the dining saloon that morning. Captain Smith stood before them all at the
podium to act as minister to the makeshift congregation. Savannah took her
place beside Bruce in the front row. Colonel Gracie and Lord and Lady Duff
Gordon shared the row. Behind her, Savannah heard Rose and Cal. Looking over
her shoulder, she saw that Rose’s mother was also present. Many of the first
class elite were present, but Savannah noticed one glaring absence--Thomas
Andrews.
When the service had ended,
Savannah rushed over to catch Rose before she left.
"Rose!" she called in
the most genteel fashion.
Rose turned to face Savannah with
a smile on her face.
"We missed you last night,
Savannah. Where did you go?"
Savannah smiled and said, "I
didn’t want to interrupt your fun. I have yet to see you smile as widely as you
did last night."
Rose blushed slightly. Savannah
could tell she truly cared for Jack.
"Rose, would you like to
join me for a walk?"
Rose shook her head.
"I’m sorry, Savannah, but
Mr. Andrews is taking us on a tour of the ship this afternoon. Maybe some other
time?"
Savannah nodded and said,
"Of course."
She began to walk away, but
stopped.
Turning back to Rose, she said,
"Rose, if you get a moment alone with Thomas--Mr. Andrews--would you
please tell him I’m sorry?"
Rose nodded as Cal arrived at her
side. Bruce arrived as well, offering Savannah his arm and leading her away.