AFTER STARTING ANEW
Chapter Twenty-Eight

Rose watched as the yellow aspen leaves fluttered along the walkway in the park. They tumbled and drifted around her feet, their vibrant hues leaving a swirl of color wherever they went. It was a sure sign that autumn had a firm hold on Denver and a gentle warning that winter was not more than a few weeks away. She watched as the slender and fragile branches swayed in the wind, yet another reminder of how fragile love was, and how easily a bond between two people could be broken.

It had been a week and a day now since the confrontation with Jack. A long awful week, during which for the sake of Patrick they had greeted each other politely, but curtly, visited her mother separately, and slept in different rooms. For two days after their initial fight he had come to her door at night, pleading with her to listen, but she was still too angry, her wounds too raw to want to hear any lame excuses that he might make. Then he stopped his efforts and he had made no further attempt to speak with her except for what was absolutely necessary.

This morning when she had looked in the mirror she cringed at the dark circles under her eyes. Jack did not look much better. He in fact looked positively haggard. His eyes were bloodshot from what she assumed was lack of sleep, because every day after school, he was home by 4:30. He had taken his place at the dinner table each night and made pleasant conversation with Patrick, trying every so often to catch her eye. But as soon as he looked her way, she put her head down, not wanting to give in or give him a chance. She was not really sure how much this impasse could continue. Eventually they were going to have to speak to one another on a mature level and come to some resolution. Rose was just not sure what that resolution might be. Like it or not, she supposed she was going to have to hear him out and then decide on whether to tell him she’d had enough and make him leave or give him another chance.

The first choice was more difficult for her to consider, as that would affect her whole family. It would cause her a great deal of embarrassment to try and explain this situation to her children and she wondered what on earth they would think of their father.

This morning, Rose had gotten Patrick off to school and tidied up the house. She did all of her usual household chores, except to make the bed that Jack slept in and to do his laundry. As far as she was concerned right now, he was not much more than a boarder. Her mother had called and told her to take the day off from coming over and so to try and get her mind off her problems, she had dressed up and taken the bus downtown. After window-shopping mindlessly for three hours and finding that she was not really interested in buying anything, she had just started walking towards home. This park where she sat was near Jack’s school and she had stopped here for no other reason than she was tired. But now she was also hungry and she looked around to see if there was anywhere to eat nearby.

A green awning across the street read Crystal Cafe, Breakfast and Lunch. It looked far enough off the beaten path of the school that it seemed unlikely that she would run into anyone she knew. She stood up, straightened her suit jacket and started off across the street.

Rose took a long sip on the straw in her vanilla milkshake. She was not as hungry as she thought and something sweet seemed appropriate to drown her sorrows in. Besides, she didn’t even care right now if she gained a few pounds. Who would see her anyway? The bell over the café door jingled and announced the arrival of two more customers. The young women were dressed in simple wool dresses and sweaters and both carried manila folders. Certainly a little too old to be students. Rose wondered perhaps if they were among the younger members of the faculty. She noticed that one of them had a swaying kind of walk, as if she wanted the whole world to notice as she passed by.

After a few minutes of unintentional eavesdropping, Rose had been able to ascertain that indeed they were faculty members at the high school. Some of the names they mentioned were well known to her and they were currently discussing their roles as chaperones at the homecoming dance.

Rose reached into her purse for her wallet and started counting out the money for her bill. She was just about to leave when she heard a familiar name.

"Well, Daphne, now that we are done eating are you going to tell me how your big night went?"

With the name Daphne mentioned, Rose was instantly alert to what was being said behind her.

"Some big night. It turned into a disaster."

"Come on, Daphne, tell me about it. Maybe it will cheer you up. Out with it."

Rose would almost bet that the one named Daphne had been the woman trying to call attention to herself when they entered the restaurant. And she wondered too if this was Jack’s Daphne. It was not a very common name in Denver.

There was a moment of silence and then Rose heard Daphne pour out her story to her friend. Her curiosity got the best of her and she could not leave now without knowing if this was the person responsible for causing the friction between Jack and herself.

"Oh Carol, I was so devastated, embarrassed, and angry. Were it not for the fact that I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about me, I could have called the police and set Jack Dawson up for trying to attack me. I just couldn’t risk harming my reputation though. Who cares about his?" Rose’s heart started to pound and her jaw dropped open. This was the woman. A self-centered, conniving individual, by the sound of things. How in heaven’s name had Jack gotten involved with her?

There was a gasp behind her and Daphne’s lunch partner gave her opinion. "That is a pretty selfish thing. You can destroy someone’s life that way. Surely this was not all that important."

"Hmm, I wanted him so much. I was just so sure I could have him. You know how most artists are. So free with their morals. I thought he was like that too."

Rose froze as she continued to listen, thinking about how close Jack had become to being accused of something awful. Just like on Titanic. How frightening that history came close to repeating itself.

"You’ve got it all wrong, Daph. Not Jack Dawson. Haven’t you heard? He has five kids and a wife to put any woman in Denver to shame. He has a spotless reputation. Forget it. Put him out of your mind."

There was the clinking of some dishes and then Daphne herself spoke again. "I asked him to do that portrait of me for my mother for her birthday. I should have known then. He wanted it all straight and out in the open, at school, with all the classroom doors open. But I thought that if I asked him to bring the painting thinking that my roommate was there would be the perfect opportunity to, you know, seduce him."

Rose put her hand to her month, realizing now what a horrible mistake she had made by jumping to conclusions. Her eyes filled with tears and her stomach started to churn. "Oh, God," she whispered to herself. There was no way she could ever make this up to Jack, to make up for the hurt she had inflicted on him. He had told her that she knew him. And she did. She should have believed that he would never do anything like she suspected.

The conversation at the next table picked up again. "I knew he had a family. I figured that with five kids, his wife was probably a real drudge and he might be looking for…well, something else."

"Oh, Daphne. You got this one really wrong. I had no idea you were talking about Jack Dawson when you were planning this thing. Did he ever give you any inclination that he was even interested?"

Daphne cleared her throat before continuing. "No, but…well, I’ve never had anyone refuse me before. When I started to put my arms around him, he grabbed them off right away. He never even gave me a chance. I only had the time to tell him that I hated him. And he was gone."

Rose had sat transfixed as she listened to this exchange. In her mind she could see her righteous and faithful Jack doing just what Daphne described. She wanted to leave and go to Jack, but she also wanted to hear the end of the story.

Carol let out a deep breath and a click of her tongue. "What did he say, when you said you hated him?"

"Humph. He told me that since he had no feelings for me, he didn’t care. And he just left. In fact he left in such a hurry that he forgot his raincoat. He sure is not what I thought he’d be. Someone told me that he grew up on a farm. You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think that underneath that fancy exterior he’s just an ignorant, unsophisticated farm boy. Maybe I didn’t miss anything."

Both women were startled when the occupant of the booth behind them stood up and came to their table. The mysterious woman was taller than average, had a figure that any woman would die for. She wore a chic and simple black suit that was nipped in at the waist and her red hair was stylishly arranged. Her bearing and graceful movements bespoke an upbringing of culture and good manners. She carried herself with an elegance that the two women could never hope to achieve.

In her perfectly cultured, society voice that Rose saved for such occasions, she introduced herself.

"Forgive me ladies. You don’t know me." Rose politely put out a hand to shake with each woman. She gave each one a tight-lipped smile and then continued speaking. "I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. I’m Rose. Rose…Dawson." She stopped for a second to emphasize the last name. As she suspected, both women turned beet red. "My husband might be a farm boy, but I assure you, he is not ignorant or unsophisticated. I’m afraid, Daphne, that you are the one who fits those qualifications. Good day." Rose turned abruptly leaving Carol and Daphne with their mouths wide open, hoping that she had made her point.

As she left the cafe, Rose could almost feel the stares of the two women boring into her back. She didn’t care if she had been rude. Miss High and Mighty Daphne deserved a dressing down. The only thing that mattered now was getting to Jack. Somehow, even if she had to get down on her knees to beg, she only wanted him to forgive her.

She looked at her watch and mentally calculated Jack’s schedule in her mind. If she was right, he had about twenty minutes left before his next class. Perhaps she could still catch him in his office. She lifted her skirt slightly and as fast as she could, started running towards the high school.

By the time she arrived there, she was totally out of breath and she knew her hair was flying wildly around her head. She raced into the building and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself before her encounter with Jack. Unfortunately, Mr. Lyons happened to walk out of his office at the same time.

"Oh, Mrs. Dawson. Good afternoon. Come to say a quick hello to Jack no doubt."

She nodded guiltily.

"Perhaps you could answer a question for me." Rose squirmed slightly under his intense stare. "Is Jack unwell? He had not been quite himself this week and then on Monday he resigned from the curriculum committee. You wouldn’t know anything about that?"

Rose stood stiff as a board, not knowing what to say. She honestly knew nothing about the committee, although she did know why he looked so bad. Somehow she had to come up with a plausible answer.

"Ah. Well, we’ve had a lot going on in our family. It was getting to be too much for him right now." The answer she gave sounded sincere and was not exactly a lie. She glanced at the man’s face, noting that he seemed satisfied.

The principal nodded solemnly. "Yes, of course. Well you better hurry, his break is over in a few minutes."

With hardly a polite goodbye, Rose flew up the stairs. As she hurried closer to his office, the bleak, mournful look in Jack’s eyes as he sat across the table from her at meals clouded her thoughts. She had been so sure when she found the note. So positive that he had been unfaithful that she could not see beyond the circumstantial evidence. With very little effort, she had virtually destroyed her own husband.

Jack leaned back in his desk chair and stretched his hands behind his neck. The longer he worked it seemed as though the piles of papers grew. It was time for report cards and with all that he’d had on his mind this week, he had procrastinated until the last minute. Now he had a deadline to race against. He had to have all his grades done by four this afternoon. Luckily today he had this lunch period and one free period after that and so he thought he would finish on time. Then it seemed that there had been one distraction after another all day. A fire drill, a guest speaker that the PTA had sent. And then the worst of all this morning. Daphne Moore had shown up in his office before school with his raincoat.

She had sort of slithered into his office this morning, her blond hair artfully arranged so that it fell over one eye. She had on an innocent looking navy blue skirt and white blouse, that was just a little too tight in a few strategic places. With a brazen look in her eye, she perched herself on the edge of his desk.

He looked directly into her eyes and this time his usual intuitiveness did not fail him. He realized that she still was hoping for what she would not get.

"That’s my raincoat, Daphne. I’ll just hang it up over here." Jack had taken the coat that was folded over her arm and hung it on the hook behind his desk. "Ah, Daphne, you’ll be interested to know that I resigned from the curriculum committee this week."

She narrowed her eyes in anger. "You’re a coward, Jack Dawson. I’m probably too much for you."

Jack stood next to the door of his office, hoping that with his next remark, she would leave. "Actually, Daphne you are. Much too young, much too rude and much too immature. Aside from the fact that I don’t even like you too much." He held his arm out as a gesture that she should go. Never in his life had he found it necessary to speak to a woman in such a manner, but this was different. Jack wanted to make sure that there would never be a repeated attempt of last week’s efforts.

She stood up and stomped her feet on the wooden floor, displaying the immature behavior Jack had just described. With an angry look on her face, she turned and left. Relieved that maybe he had closed this chapter in her life, he thought of doing one thing. He slammed the door with the finality he hoped she understood.

Since then he’d tried to put that little scene out of him mind and focus instead on the task in front of him. And it worked for awhile, but every few minutes he would think of Rose. He relived that night eight days ago when she had gone to sleep elsewhere and refused to let him explain. At dinner each night he had watched her to see if she was softening at all and just once she had let down her guard. When Jack had offered to take her and Patrick to the movies, a shadow of a smile crossed her face. Patrick had said that Jack didn’t like the movies as much as he enjoyed the popcorn. Which in fact was true. It was something that she often teased him about. Seconds later, that slight expression of happiness was gone and as had happened every night, she took up residence in Cora’s room. He really wondered just how long this would continue. It wasn’t healthy for them to be living under such stressful conditions and besides, when the older children came home to visit, it would be hard to hide their estrangement.

Jack rubbed his eyes and looked at his watch. The time was ticking away and he had fifteen more minutes until his class. He took the last two sheets from the pile and started to fill in the grades. As he carefully recorded the next grade and comments, a shadow blotted out the light and he looked up to see where it was coming from.

He was stunned to see Rose standing in the doorway. Her hair was disheveled and her eyes and face were wet and red from crying. She looked scared and pale. Her unexpected appearance made him wonder if something terrible had happened.

"Rose? What are you doing here?" He didn’t mean to sound uninviting, but seeing her here at this time of the day was both unexpected and unusual. Particularly now, when they hadn’t even been speaking. "Is something wrong?" Jack stood up, forgetting for the moment all of his work. With a lump in his throat he hoped that nothing bad had befallen anyone in the family. "Is it your mother? The children?"

She shook her head so that her hair flew around her face. Her eyes were glued to the floor. Rose stood silently, her purse clutched in front of her, looking more like an errant student who had been called before the principal, than a wife and mother.

"Rose?" When he spoke her name, she started weeping uncontrollably, unable to speak, except to shake her head. Not wanting the entire school to witness this private moment between them, he quietly shut the door to his office. Then he put his arm gently around Rose and led her to his desk chair. Once she was seated, he pulled up a chair close to her. He could see how fast she was breathing, as if she was out of breath from running. More than anything in the world, he wanted to hold her, to comfort her, but he had no way of knowing if she would be accepting of that. Instead he took both of her hands in his and encouraged her to talk.

"Rose, tell me what this is all about. It must be something serious for you to come all the way over here." Slowly she raised her eyes to meet his. It was a week since she had really looked into his face up close. His eyes were filled with a sad expression. His face was lined from worry and fatigue. This was what she had done to him. This was what her stubborn streak had done. She had almost destroyed the marriage most people only dreamt of with her headstrong, inflexible ways. If she lived to be a hundred, she would never forgive herself for not giving him a chance to explain.

He saw her swallow. Her eyelashes glittered with wetness. Shaking his head sadly, he reached into his pocket and took out his handkerchief. As if she were a fragile porcelain doll, he tenderly blotted the tears from her face. She blinked several times, as she slowly seemed to calm down.

"All right?" he asked, as he pushed the hanky into her hand.

With a tremulous smile on her face, Rose slowly started to explain what had brought her here this afternoon. Shakily the words poured out. Slowly at first, and at times accompanied by incoherent sobs, Jack learned of the encounter with Daphne in the cafe. By the time she had finished, Rose was twisting the soaked hanky in her hands. She rocked back and forth uncertainly in the chair. Her eyes darted from side to side. She was waiting for Jack to pronounce his judgment on her.

"Oh, God, Jack. I am so sorry. So very sorry. Can you ever forgive me?" She searched his face, praying that she would see some sign of redemption. His eyes locked on hers. But the expression was not the one she hoped for. It was an intent, serious look. Filled with sorrow and understanding. He reached out and tucked her mussed hair behind her ears as he had done countless times with his children. A jolt of fire ran through her body as he put his hands on her shoulders. After a week of missing his touch, the feel of just his hands was electrifying.

Jack took a deep breath and sighed. Again he thought of gathering her in his arms. A glance at the clock told him that the bell would ring in two minutes. There was no time to resolve this conflict now. And besides, he was still recovering from the pain she had inflicted on him. He needed time to heal. They both needed to rekindle the flame of love that for a week now had come close to burning out.

"Rose, I have to go in a minute. We need to talk and this is not the place." He gazed into her eyes and saw that she was listening. She nodded her head up and down in agreement. Jack paused, trying to come up with some solution. "Go home, Rose. Call Mrs. Winters and have her come and watch Patrick tonight. And then I’ll come and pick you up after school."

Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Where are we going?" she asked.

He gave a soft chuckle. "I don’t know yet. I’ll think of something. I just know we need to be alone someplace quiet where we can talk. All right?"

"All right," she agreed. Inside she was trembling with fear. He hadn’t embraced her as he usually did after a disagreement. There had been no sign of love in his eyes. She wondered if she had hurt him beyond repair. The bell for classes rang and Jack quickly stood up. Lightly, she felt him grasp her hands and helped her to her feet. His lips quickly brushed her forehead and she heard his soft murmuring.

"Rose, we’ll try and work this out."

She gave him a quick glance and then turned to go. Looking back one more time, she saw a sheepish look on his face as he gave her a little wave. Rose put her hand over her heart and made her way down the stairs to the front door of the school. She thought about his promise to try and work things out. Certainly that was her greatest wish and it seemed as though he wanted it too. The fact that he had not told her that everything would be all right as he usually did when something was wrong disturbed her a bit. Still he hadn’t thrown her out and he did want them to be alone later. She felt that the future of her marriage was in a delicate balance. Somehow tonight, they would have to work on a way to rebuild the trust and confidence that had been lost this past week. There had to be some way for them to for them to put their lives back in order. To live without Jack’s love, was unthinkable. She would do anything to hear the soft murmurs of his tenderness again.

Chapter Twenty-Nine
Stories