Chapter 1: Denial
1: Fake
2: Nothing
3: Inside
4: Denial
Chapter 2: Nightmares
5: Escape
6: Land Of The Blind
7: Schizoid
8: Deep
9: Perfect Headache
10: Alone
Chapter 3: Love
11: Untitled
12: Stumble
13: Fucked Up
14: Need To
15: You
Chapter 4: Hate
16: Spit
17: Hated
18: Sick
19: Dead
20: Anaemic
Chapter 5: Denial Revisited
21: Pain
22: Do Nothing
23: Against All Hope
24: Bleach
25: The End
FAKE
You hide behind your callous mask
Nothing
Drug me up
Inside
It kills you from inside
Denial
I Don't know what I'm looking for.
Escape
The demon in my brain,
Land Of The Blind
The raven sits untop his throne.
Schizoid
Complete lack of
Deep
And there I go,
Perfect Headache
A splinter to my brain
Alone
A burning hate is killing me inside.
Untitled
I never did stand a chance
Stumble
Things could never stay this way.
Fucked Up
Why does it feel the same
Why do you feel alone
It's coming around again
Need To
I searched deep inside
You
Why can't you realize,
Spit
I can't find, in any way
Hated
I'm a self-destructive waste
Sick
I look out my window,
Dead
You're nothing like me....
Anaemic
Always a step behind me
Pain
Everything has gone down the drain
Do Nothing
Don't look between the lines
Against All Hope
As darkness falls, and shadows paint the walkways
Bleach
Once saw your pretty face
Thunder rolls in the distance
Chapter 1: Denial
Afraid of what's underneath
But that denial has left you all alone.
Whatever you say, you've been removed
Each day feeling farther from yourself
I can't stand the sight of you,
Never saying what you mean.
All that you spit out,
The more I get to know you the less I believe
You hide behind your mask,
hiding from a frustrated life.
There is no end.
Holding your breath,
You are at home.
Hidden beneath your mask.
You wore it to save yourself
But only to enslave yourself
Can't reach the surface now.
You've ran out of ways to run.
Now it wears you.
I can't stand the sight of you,
Never saying what you mean.
All the that you spit out,
The more I get to know you the less I believe.
It keeps going on day after day,
Bound to your mask.
You don't care what the fuck people have to say,
Evil thoughts always seeping through your mind.
And you just keep running away.
Your whole life's a lie,
thats why you hide.
Do you ever see outside your fears?
Or are you afraid to be you inside?
You're just a fake.
And strap me down
As i sit here without a sound
All I've ever known is hate
As things get worse from day to day
And now I'm left with no escape
Looking for answers
But you're all alone
Bound by fear
You just make your own
Fix my problems
My wrists lay frayed
As i lay there and drag this blade
There is no way to numb this pain
I can feel it deep inside
I'm already dead to this world
Now things have changed
Its pathetic how we could become so estranged
I wish i could be erased
I'll leave without a trace
Caring never never felt so wrong
Do you want to waste this life
Maybe i'll tie the rope in spite
Suck it up cuz you're not right
Pull the trigger i'm gone
Nothing to hold onto
Its not supposed to be like this
I can't bear the sight
The plot has grown threadbare,
Your mind filled with trite
Its like something inside you has died.
The door is locked,
You've lost the key
At the edge of your sanity.
With no sun to shine,
The the light will decline
And the dark of night will remain.
With no one around,
You won't be heard.
Only the silence of the night, your friend.
The walls painted red
The cell made of stone
The only release,
Lay on the throne of the beast,
You can't control reality.
Stuck in this endless maze.
Filled with broken promises.
Do i even know what I want?
I'm lost amidst this false reality.
The silence comes.
Like the shadows in the night.
But there's no one to hurt me now.
Only myself
I try to run.
And i see a light.
So close, yet so distant.
It's too far away.
I have to find away to get around this place.
And a shadow moves in the darkness.
It steps in the doorway.
Into the dark corner where i reside.
I try to fade in with the backround.
I'm going to face this head on.
But i'm going to lose my cool.
Afraid of the pain.
Afraid of the evil.
Afraid of myself.
Words kept hidden,
Emotions hollowed.
Things will never be the same.
Everything's been a game.
And the time has just ran out.
Heart so shallow.
Mind all faded,
Lost and jaded,
Things seem to complicated.
The madness I hate,
It fills my veins.
This recklessness that causes my pain.
Should have been locked away in a cage.
And now my brain has stopped.
I've gone all the way down.
To the end of my sanity.
Denying what i know.
Falling deeper into this hole.
There is a war going on inside.
And I fight for control.Chapter 2: Nightmares
It starts to overwhelm.
The world is spinning around me.
And there just went my last chance at peace.
How long will I wait?
It's all just a mistake.
How long will it take?
Before i can make my escape
Inside I feel so hollow.
Outside I am being swallowed.
Cross your fingers.
I'm going to knock it all down.
Is there anything that I will miss?
I don't care.
I wannna get out of this.
Why do i always want what I can't get?
Why am I always doing something that I'll regret?
The memories flood my mind,
and bury me.
As I look back,
Nothing was ever right.
I took the feelings,
and shoved them in a closet without a light.
A dark place in my mind.
A dark place I Like to hide.
I'm fighting a battle with myself,
A battle I'm not winning.
The evil thoughts, always creeping in my mind.
And silence overwhelms.
Too blind to see,
Everything in front of me.
Over death's valley,
Through the sea of the dead,
These evil thoughts fill his head.
Frightening monsters fill this mind.
These dreams become realities,
As they travel through the land of the blind.
Feel free to scream there is no shame.
As the hate rises up, you won't see.
Everything they are, and all they can be.
Is this a nightmare, or a memory from the past.
Either way, it could never last.
You cannot escape your mind,
Without the eyes of the blind.
What makes us human
Detached from life
You act as if you knew
Never needed anyone at all
Yet still you follow
Never asked for anything at all
Questioning the motive
Hard to follow, hard to find
A danger to myself
I feel I'm dead inside
Socially inept, mechanical drone
Don't desire for I've lost something inside
Lost the will to fight, cold without a guide
Somebody fucking help me I'm dying
Never able nor willing there's no use in trying
But I'm still drowning...
Through this joruney of life,
A life that seems to be a faked reality.
No one understands,
How much farther can i go?
I can't see through the dark cloud,
I can' get out of the forest of my mind.
Or am I just blind.
Each day, taking so much more,
Pain the only memory
Of all the time that was spent alone.
The tick tock of the clock is painful,
This constant paranoia,
It makes me feel content.
So I fall down in a rut again,
I can't get myself out.
I'm always wanting to be somewhere that i'm not.
When will I awake from this deep sleep?
Or am I Just blind?
Would you like to search inside?
For all the inner fears?
You'll regret it.
This time you can't escape it.
How deep can you go?
Can't you see between the lines?
Or maybe you, are going blind too.
Clawing my head until it bleeds
A perfect headache
A screw drilled deep inside
Every time I feel this
I can't talk,
Can't discuss
Each time i look around
I feel I can't take this today
A man would kill just to deal with this
What makes it feel so good
That we are swept away
Some how it seems we have been here before,
But no one is around.
Taken,
I like it,
You can look,
But you won't find.
Broken,
I try to,
Save it,
But, why?
I feel these things, things I can't control.
Wanting an answer,
You just pull me close.
I push away.
I look around and all the faces look the same.
Hiding all my thoughts.
Should I run?
Or should I stay?
It does not matter.
My life will remained unchanged.
I won't listen to the lies.
That things will get better.
No one is truley happy.
It is all an illusion.
But life is not about to end.
It has just begun.
And i sit here counting.
Waiting.
For a change in my dismal fate.
I feel like i have been beatin down.
I close my eyes, and wait for a change.
And in the distance, the sun rises for once again another day.
And i look around this once frighting forest.
I've being going the wrong way.
Is it really worth it all?
Do I want to live in the sugar coated world?
The reality is always harsh.
But it is the truth
I see a light, an open door,
Is this the way?
Is this my escape?
Will I ever return to the world I knew?
No.
I continue down my path.
Life unchanged.
Forever more lost in this maze.
Alone.Chapter 3: Love
From that first glance
You had mind had decided
It wasn't meant to be
These games we play have messed with my head
Fucked with my emotions
And have left words unsaid
This charade has been played out all too far
Don't need this in my life
Don't need this scar
Its hard to find a reason why
Things had to be the way they are
But It doesn t matter anymore,
You didn't even know
Only skimmed the surface
Every time I wander off,
Nothing else remains.
These thoughts fill my mind.
The longer I'm dreaming, the less I sleep.
Hiding with my eyes shut tightly.
I've got no place to run.
Life as I know it has gone away.
Gone, never to be seen again.
Leaving everything behind.
These things, they can't be control.
My time has just begun.
Watching from my dark corner.
Keeping everything I knew inside.
So i've gotten this far,
but life is never a good trip for me.
Every time i rise up,
I just stumble and fall.
I can never win,
In this game of life.
Once i cave in,
what's left to fight?
Nothing ever changes,
I can never find a reason,
A reason why I'm always left behind.
Always hiding emotion.
I can never decide.
Buried in my mind,
I feel fine.
I swallow my sorrow,
It comes unknown to me.
And i scream without a sound.
My heart so grey.
Tell me what you want.
What do you expect of me.
Tell me what I need to be.
Like i've felt this way before
The darkness that surrounds
Your new mood for today
You don't know what to do
Clinging onto everything that
Presents itself to you
Because you just can't find
A way to make amends
And you should
Try
And find a reason why
Because you just can't find
A way to reach the end
But I was too weak to find
What I needed to be
Silence is now the only sound
Something that is unheard of
Inside the demons claw and scrape
Outside a soul that's maimed and raped
There is no peace for the unforgiven
With your head in the clouds,
And your feet glued to the ground
You can never see,
What has been right in front of you the whole time.
All of these things you feel inside,
Were never really true.
Awaiting, filled with rage
They all want to see you,
Bound by your agony and hate.
I can't stand this place,
It's all about pain,
They all think its up to me.
Tell me, How could this be?
What does this all mean to you?
I don't want to even try.
I don't need to take all that bullshit
I can't see, how my life has been taken.
I can't stand to let them in.
Can't somebody help me?
Nothing else matters,
I'd take it all for you,
Because I wouldn't be here now,
If it weren't,
For you.
Chapter 4: Hate
How to see through these lies,
Can't I speak whats on my mind?
Lulled minds,
Filled with lullabies.
You're running out of places to hide.
Who are you to critisize me?
If i've been set free
You just don't see.
You say I don't fit.
Fuck that shit,
I'm sick of it.
Who the fuck are you to judge me?
Don't fuckin pity me,
Just leave me be.
All the doors are locked, all the windows shut,
In the end, your just left with blood and salvation.
Better clear the way
Your own fuckin blood is the only thing your gonna taste
For killing is seeing
And death will come into being
The time is now and your fuckin around
You better step it up
You stupid little fuck
Your never gonna see this whole thing through
You're never gonna find
Its always undefined
And i don't need a reason
I just fuck up
And you die
I am hated
Left with nothing but your disdain
But I guess I don't care anymore.
Still the same twisted view.
I can't feel,
I can't breathe.
All this attention,
Is like suffocation.
Is that what I want?
No matter what I do,
It will always be the same.
Fuck all of this shit,
I'm so sick of it.
Alone here I sit
Why would you give a fuck if I died?
I'd just be casted aside.
Another lie, for you to deny.
You can't hear the rattle of death,
Cause its right beside you,
Sneakin up behind you.
Fuck all of this shit,
I'm so sick of it
Alone here I sit
You just don't get it.
You couldn't believe,
Unless you could see...
Inside, what its like to be me.
My mind escapes unto another place,
A place filled with pleasure.
A pleasure filled with pain.
As your blood stains the floor
My mind begins to boil,
I'll have my vengence.
The heart holds much sorrow,
Yet can spawn so much evil.
No matter what I do, its missing,
No matter how I try its gone.
There is no time for reminiscing,
I've been here for way too long.
There is no point in living if you're already dead,
Digging your grave staring into death's bare face
There is no realease, there is no escape.
Welcome into my mind,
Wanna go for a ride?
Coming around again
The pain is my nemisis
Marked by my disdain
Never leaving for a moment
It is always there
I (defy) deny
I'm not ready to end this life
I will, despise
All that you know has died
I can see the decay from inside
Everyting goes by in slow-motion
These stupid egotistical blood sucking fucks
Can't you see through these every day discrepancies
All that I know, all that I've ever loved is dead...
Goodbye i'm gone,
It doesn't mean anything to anyone anyway
Who gives a fuck this time it sucks
Kill me now its through
Hate is all we know
It's all we live for
Chapter 5: Denial Revisited
Leaving me feeling like i'm fucking insane
This thing slithers and breeds
Everywhere I look it surrounds it
Never caring for a moment
What the fuck is around it
This pain was made to order
It dwells in your head
It'll make you wish that you were dead
This is no way to live
This is no way to get by
The only release this life offers
Is to back off into the darkness again
I grasp for some ground
But all i hear is that sound
Never staying by my side
always leaving me dry
Its a march to death,
With every breath.
Why am I obsessed with how it could be
All the what ifs, and how it should be
I can only watch over time
Bitching my thoughts
With my heart cut wide open
I can't feel it
I'll sit there with my wrists slit
Thereisnofuckingdifferenceitcannottbechangedthemomentitstartediknewitwasamistake
You might be scared to what you might find
Each passing moment was a moment spent in vain
The pouring rain began to fall.
The skies painted gray
This lost soul has no meaning
There is nothing left to say
Today or tomorrow
Its all the same
Each passing day is a slow
March to your end
You won't see it coming
The millions carry on
As they wear their crown of thorns
Hiding the pain inside.
There is an uneasiness in the silence
If you've ever heard it,
It's an unbearable sound
Thinking back I can't remember
A time when I could be
Care-free and happy
But you were never there for me
I stare into the darkness
Dark because there is nothing left
Against all hope
I'll be searching again
When things get like this again you'll find me
At the bottom
This is where I belong
The stinging rain begins to fall
Yet the millions continue to carry on
Through this toxic waste of life
Keeping everything inside
They will never win
This is how we find the ways
To bring ourselves to just throw it away
Thinking back I can't remember
A time when I could be
Care-free and happy
But you were never there for me
I stare into the darkness
Dark because there is nothing left
Against all hope
I'll be searching again
When things get like this again you'll find me
At the bottom
This is where I belong
I stare into this blank face,
blank because it can't see the light
Empty, with no will to fight
With their empty souls the millions drag on
Down a road they have been down before
Searching for an answer
To a question they not know.
I knew I needed you
I'd watch you everyday
In my every thought
You'd be mine
Skin so tan
The sunlight cascades down your golden locks
I longed for the taste
I couldn't help myself
I hear the lions roar
As you hold breath
Skin so pale
You're not looking like you used to
I wanted you to stay with me forever
But the bleach has replaced your intoxicating scent
Pools of saphire begin to drain
Eyes faded to a pale grey
I warned you but you're drifting away
I told you not to leave
I would have given you the world
I would have died for you
Well the tables have turned
You're alot heavier then I remember
You threw it away
I'm sorry
You look so cold in your shallow grave
I could have saved you
I'll cover you with this blanket of earth
Every person winds up killing what they love most
