Salvation
by: Anni
I am sitting by your hospital bed watching you fight against an unbeatable enemy - death. This is at least an enemy from my point of view because he will take you away from, out of this life, out of my life.
I know I am selfish. But how can your reproach me such feelings? I love you!
The doctor has just been here, told me that your brain is death and only the machines are holding you in this world. But I can't believe him. I love you.
He said that I should think about ending your fight. He said I should think about helping other people with your organs. But how can he ask me to do something like this? I love you.
Your mum has been here, talking to me. She had changed the sites and agrees now with the doctors, asked me to let you go. But how can she betray you? I thought she'd love you as I do.
I hold your hand, it is so cold and I wonder if you are still there, if you can hear me begging. Please fight. Please stay here. Don't leave me because I love you.
Because I love you. your dad has been here and told me I should let you go because I love you, but I can't because I need you.
I watch you fight. But you aren't fighting. You look so peaceful, as if you are asleep. Would you go without my agreement?
I panic, call the doctors. But all is ok and you are still there.
They say I should go home and take a rest but I can't leave you. I love you and I fear you might go when I am not here.
Suddenly, you begin to move spasmodic, your face is pain distorted.
What is happening to you?
The doctors throw me out, telling me that you have pain, ask me once more -
And I say yes.
Salvation.
From your pain.
Death.
My enemy.
Your friend.
Salvation.
I want to go with you.
Death becomes my friend.
Salvation.
From my pain.
A funeral with two graves and they say goodbye to the two of us. They are all sad. But we are happy - together - thanks to death.
THE END
SNIPPET STORY OF THE MONTH
DARK MOMENTS
Sometimes I want to give in to the madness. The voices that I hear coerce me, but I never listen to them; until lately. They come to me when I'm working now, they say things about how hopeless my life is. How do I stop them? I've heard them for a long time. Those voices in the back of your mind that tell you, you're better off , but so far I've been able to ignore them. It gets harder and harder everyday. Every time I look at myself or my life I hear them, go on, get it over with. There's nothing for you here. In the end I always win out, but now I'm tired. I'm tired of hearing them, tired of them reminding me of how awful my life is at times. They hit me at my weakest moments, when I'm at the depth of my despair. Why do I have to feel so lonely? Do it, they say. No one will care, you're all alone. Am I? Am I really all alone? No, I can't be. But you are, they say.
"Mommy, are you all right?" I hear a little voice ask. Is that me? Am I mommy? Yes, I am. I look down into the sweet face of my child and realize, Yes, I do have something to live for. Not only something, but someone!I hear the voices trying to break through, but I know I have to keep fighting them. Not just for my sake, but for the sake of my child. I can't ever let them win, but they'll always be there, waiting. Waiting for my darkest moments.
The End.
