Dear Wendy:

Why can't you and Mohamed live in Korea together? If you both did so then you can keep your "awesome" job and he will be away from the social pressures that you find disgusting. You could avoid some or all of those "many blockades to our being together".

You individually would be in a familiar enviroment and so know how to adjust its circumstances to do some good. Mohamed would have to adjust to this enviroment for it is new to him. You could influence this adjustment and see to it that it also benefits you.

But, this leads to the questions like, who will pay for it? You and/or Mohamed. But the questions are the same where ever you go. What skills does he have in making money? Could he be a cook there? Could he teach? Is he a university graduate? If he isn't could he use his connections to pass himself off as one?

You have had conflicting sexual desires that have and still can cause you unhappiness. If I had someone to bet with concerning this, I would bet that you'll cause yourself at least one more romantic disaster.

Have you tried conditioning yourself like a Palovian dog? You could always weigh your self at the same time every day. If you gain weight, then you can not have sex that day. If you lose weight you can (or must) have sex that day.

If you don't return to your job in Korea, then would you be willing to introduce me to the college? I would be interested in working there if I could teach something other than conversational or basic English to beginners.

Sincerely,

K R



And My Response:

I am not sure what to make of your letter. What nationality are you?

But let me answer your questions.

Mohammed has no education and limited English. There is no place for him in Korea. And he would not want to live with me. He is a religious and moral person. He is not ready to have sex let alone live with a woman without being married.

I do NOT find any social pressure "disgusting". What gave you that idea? You can not call any cultural difference "disgusting". (well, maybe I find female circumcision disgusting but... that is not the issue here).

Fleeing to Korea would not remove "blockades" keeping us apart. We have many many cultural, religious and personal reasons that keep us from marrying.

I don't want to live in Egypt forever, he doesn't want to leave it forever. We don't speak a common language (just baby English) he would never forgive me if I smoked, drank, wore a mini skirt, ... or if he knew I did these things in the past. He thinks I am a moral and upright person. He doesn't know the "real" me.

I only have conflicting sexual desires with HIM. He doesn't want to have sex until marriage ut being a boy he is weak and often forgets his vows. I am torn between having sex with him and helping him keep his vow of chastity. I have never had this conflict with another man. Don't worry about "at least one more romantic disaster."

Your Pavlov dog comment is bizarre. I don't have sex every day. And I don't WANT to have sex everyday. And weigh myself to give myself sex is about the most psychologically unhealthy thing I have ever heard of. Plus, I don't know if you have ever HAD sex, but 2 people are involved. If my man wanted sex and I didn't lose weight for a week, how would HE feel about that. Men are funny about being denied sex. They take it personally, like you don't want THEM. I can not punish my partner if I go on a binger. Plus what if he DOESN'T want sex and I lose a pound. Sex is not only about yourself.

I can't introduce you to me school. I don't know you. I couldn't vouch for you. And I don't know your nationality or your sex.

TFT


Back to Letters Home

Email: thefattraveler@hotmail.com